asgardeventide | [video]

[ The video starts begins with the frowning face of a teenage girl with perked dog ears atop her head. ]

Okay, first of all! Everyone who is new, hi! My name is Jade, and welcome to Asgard, and make sure to let someone know if you need something! I can be helpful - I've been here practically forever now.

Secondly, I am going to need everyone to stop dying, thank you very much.

Thirdly - and this one kind of goes back to the second point, here - if you don't know how to use a weapon, you need to learn how to use a weapon. [ The frown on her face grows a little more severe. ] We are at war, and we can't always rely on our powers! Because some of them kind of suck - no offense, Harry - and when we're attacked, they're not gonna care if you're able to make a giant fireball or if you can just float half a foot off the ground.

[ Her expression is very decidedly stubborn. ]

I can teach you how to shoot a gun. I want to teach you how to shoot a gun! If you can't fight? Please let me teach you how to shoot a gun so you don't die, okay? Between here and home I've died like four times [ five, she's just unaware of that last one right now ] and I am getting sort of sick of it. Let me help!

Or at least let someone.

[ Jade leans forward, as if to end the video, before she wrinkles her nose and adds - ]

Also there's no pie at the Highwind today because my baker is being a butthead. Sorry Stiles. Take it up with Ryan!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Giving everyone guns. Great idea.

[ The smile she flashes him is wide. ]

I'm going to ignore the sarcasm and just agree: it totally is. We are literally at war.

And humans are literally nutcases when they get hold of guns. We'll all be dead of friendly fire before the giants even get here. You ever watched someone get shot in the head while they weren't resisting just because of what they are?

Nnnnooo but what's your idea? Swords are great, but not everyone is strong enough to wield one well, and not everyone is a fan of short-range combat.

So we're talking about personal preferences now? Who's the one taking the war seriously again?

[He huffs out an irritable sigh. She's got a point, they do need some kind of ranged attack, but goddamn guns.]

First of all, don't knock fireballs. And second, if you're actually serious about citywide target practice, maybe don't make it a free-for-all? Come up with some screening process so the total psychos don't turn into killing machines before there's anything they need to kill?

Okay, if people are gonna turn into killing machines, then me teaching them how to aim and shoot a gun without hurting themselves isn't gonna speed that process up any faster. It's not like they can't go to a store right now and buy guns and flamethrowers and stuff.

[ She matches his sigh, expression firm. ]

If someone goes crazy, then we'll stop them, but death isn't permanent right now. And seriously, there's no way of knowing who's gonna go off their rocker. It's not like my hands are clean right now, either, so I don't think I'm in any position to judge.

And we're already at friendly fire. See how slippery that little slope -

[Wait. Speaking of fire.]

- who's selling flamethrowers? Claudia set up a shop or something?

I dunno. I just remember seeing a flamethrower when the whole city was frozen over.

[ She pauses and squints at him. ]

I maintain a pee-free sandbox, by the way.

Oh, those things were just made for that attack. They fell apart pretty quick after. Shit, I thought this place could finally be useful.

[... what the - ?]

Oh, great, the preschooler's giving out gun lessons. This gets better and better.

[ She can't even do anything but laugh at that. ]

Oh my god, are you serious? I am sixteen, and also probably the best shot in the city.

And also probably the biggest brat that's ever lived to see sixteen. Still not trusting you to arm the city, here.

Did you seriously just call me a brat?

[ She's not incredulous - she's amused. ]

No better word. You're not mature enough to warrant bitch.

And you are a sour grapes, grumpy asshole!

[ It's said cheerfully. ]

I know how dangerous guns are. I orphaned myself when I was a toddler, and also I sort of accidentally murdered one of my best friends? But I still think more people need to know how to use them here.

Tell it to Bobby. You two can commiserate over the pain of dealing with someone who has some sense.

I mean, do you even hear yourself? Guns are made for the lowest common denominator to kill as easily as possible. And you wanna fill the city with them. When there's a real bitch out there who can make everyone go crazy and turn on one another just for shits and giggles.

I honestly never thought I'd say this, but tactics might be a little more important than brute force right now. I want this over as much as anyone, but what you're talking about is a shitstorm waiting to happen, and you wanna drop it right on our doorstep. No curses necessary.

If you have a better idea, then tell me. What good are tactics without firepower? ... and I'm not arguing, I'm being serious.

I went crazy. If James had had a gun and could have shot me between the eyes before I killed him with my stupid plants, that would've been a much better week for everyone all around. How is he supposed to fight?

Makes me wonder what "James" could do before he got here.

[He's honestly got no idea, but so many people here have lost stronger abilities than Asgard has to offer that he always has to wonder. And yes, it always comes back to this.]

I had just finished using my powers to hurtle a ship through space at the speed of light for three years without breaking a sweat. Now I make plants grow fast.

Powers we had at home don't matter. The powers we have here don't matter. It's what skills we can learn and use.

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