asgardeventide | 01

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[ Greetings, Asgard! Have a pretty blonde with a cheeky grin. ] Well, this is an interesting turn of events. Apparently despite my initial status as "not supposed to be here" [ she drops her voice a little for that, and tosses in a couple of air quotes for good measure ] I've become a somewhat more permanent resident! It's all a bit silly, this gods-and-magic business, but I can't deny what's right in front of my eyes, so I'll simply have to manage.

I thought I should introduce myself properly, since there's so many people I haven't had the chance to meet yet. [ she clears her throat for dramatic pause, then continues ] I am Charlotte Pollard - Charley to my friends - and I'm a friend of the Doctor's. The Eighth one, apparently, if you're keeping score.

[ she grins again ] Coming here wasn't exactly the plan, of course, but it is a bit exciting, I must admit.

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[ This blasted device. It doesn't do, can't. It's not far now, and he's done with this device.

Before he turns it off, it's obvious that he starts running. One of those things he's actually good at. And rather than run from someone, like he so often does, this time it's to. To Rose. Because when she's here and this is all they have for now, what are they doing talking on the phone? Sort of phone. Communication device. Whatever.

It only takes him a couple of minutes to reach the Welcome Hall, and he bursts into her room without knocking and. Doesn't know what to say, so once hes closed the door, he just... stands there. Catching his breath. He's not used to losing it this much quite so quickly. ]

[ She can see him set off at least, before the feed ends. Which, in all honesty, gives her the moment to herself. A godsend. For her to completely break down for all of ten seconds, to just .. get it a little bit out, to release a little bit of tension. To sob and cry and forcibly pull herself back together. Or .. have it snapped back as her door suddenly bursts open, leaving him standing there, panting. At the very least, it had startled her to a standstill in the tears department.

She hadn't realized entirely that he'd been running here. But after a few seconds, her mouth clicks shut, jaw still held tight to wane off any sort of tremble. Now she can't look at him. Keep him in her peripheral, sure, but eye to eye is ... hard. Because she feels guilty. Guilty for loving him because all it does is make things difficult. For him. And no matter how selfish she wants to be, she can't make him choose anything.

No matter how desperately she wishes he would. ]

[ Nothing comes to mind so, in the end, after standing for a while, all the Doctor can think of to do is close the distance between them and attempt to pull Rose to him into a tight hug. If she'll let him, that's the question, really. At this point he doesn't know. Wouldn't blame her either way. ]

[ Do you know how frustrating it is to stay upset- or to even stay the same level of upset, when the one person you're hoping would, gives you a hug? Fucking frustrating, let her tell you. Because of course she's going to let him come over, pull her into a hug and hold her there. Does he have any idea how much she's missed these particular hugs, from these particular arms?

It doesn't mean she can magically stop crying though- or perhaps even to reign it in beyond the influx of a few new sobs. At least this time he won't be able to see her reddened face. But despite leaning into this desperate hug, she's also sort of hating him for it. Pushing at him with one hand, and holding tight with the other, as if unsure how to process her body's instinct to fight and flee. So he gets both at once. Just on a very calm sort of level. Just until she can get a hold of herself. It's been a long time coming for this, she imagines. She never had much of a chance last time; not beyond the quick cry in terror that he was going to regenerate on her the moment they finally re-met. ]

[ He's not surprised about the pushing, but since she's also holding on then he sees no reason to step away. So he stays, squeezes his eyes shut over burning and fights against falling apart. He can't do that, absolutely can't. Why he suddenly wants to now he's not sure. It's got to be a combination of a great deal of things. It really has nothing to do with the conversation that got them here. The conversation itself didn't even have anything to do with it.

He holds her for a good, long while, wags a little from side to side, slower and not at all happy. Calms down, breathes, just feels her in his arms and the warmth of her.

After a while, he pulls away just enough to smile down at her, as sad and almost broken as it is. ]

Look at you. You've grown ahead of me.

[ Even if she's crying. She might think it almost makes her feel like a child, but if you ask him, she is giant right now. So big, so great, so brilliant. Fantastic. Towering over him. And he's so proud. ]

Edited 2013-07-13 09:29 (UTC)

[ Eventually she does calm from sobs to hot breath, hot tears and limbs sagging against his chest. Even as he pulls back, looks down at her messy face, her lip trembles something fierce. But she pulls for a smile all the same, not quite able to not. Because that was just her luck, wasn't it? Too far ahead, not far enough along. Never right where she needed to be. ]

I don't wanna be.

Oh, but that's not a bad thing! It just means... I'm in awe. Well, I always am. But I didn't think it could get more.

[ And he can't not smile, as he strokes his hand over her hair, cups her ear and jaw. ]

[ Don't smile, you stupid idiot. She can't let her own smile go away if you keep doing that. ]

Of what? Me crying? [ She's half joking. She doesn't .. understand. Not really. ]

[ He laughs, bops her nose. ]

Of you. All of you. Tears and everything.

[ Her eyes close when he bops her nose, and .. stay closed. At least for now. If anything, she seems to sag a little more overall. ]

Why'd you do it?

[ And she's just going to ignore him if he tries to play dumb. Because this conversation started somewhere, and while not entirely important ... it still kind of is. ]

[ No no no, no sagging, bad sagging. He doesn't want to see that. ]

Well, I... I liked her, she wanted to... and she's the queen, so. I figured, might as well.

[ He doesn't want sagging- so she's sitting up a bit instead, giving him a vaguely incredulous look. If anything, that was a bit of a step in the wrong direction, no matter how honest. She looks about ready to get up and walk. ]

So I should-- [ Don't. Don't say it, don't even bother. Just shut up and deal with it. ... Somehow this inner mantra thing seems more and more stupid as time goes on. ]

Rose. It wasn't important.

[ Can't they just... drop it now? ]

[ haha you're funny. so funny. ]

Then why'd you come over? Why couldn't you've just said that t'begin with?

[ Upset? Yes. Hurt? Well, yeah. Angry? Getting there. ]

[ Y...eah... ]

Because I--

[ There are things he wants to say. Important things. Stuck in his throat. ]

I was caught off-guard. And I... wanted to come.

[ Needed to come because there was so much more. ]

[ In fairness, there are plenty of things she wants to say too. And .. damnitall, she should be saying them. She'd finally found him again, only to lose him once more in coming here. Now he's here, for god knows how long, and she can't even spit it out?

Maybe it's just how hurt she feels, her emotions flying around like a loose cannon on ship's deck, that makes everything he says sound like a terrible excuse. And just for that, she feels awful. Disgustingly hateful of herself.

In goes her breath. ]

Last time I was on that beach, the last time I thought I'd ever see you again. I told you I loved you. [ And exhale. Repeat. ] I don't- I don't wanna presume anything. But I thought ... [ Fuck. Why, of all times now, can't she hold herself together? She doesn't want to cry anymore. ]

Is it- 'Cause I've been away so long? Was that it? You just .. moved on?

[ Like Eleven had. Like she'd hated him for at first. Had it happened this early? Did it just .. not matter? ]

[ Said very quickly before she barely even finishes the last sentence: ]

I did.

[ No, wait, that was. Wrong place. Bad. Uhm. ]

I mean, what you thought. I did. I do.

[ Say it. Say it. ]

I... I never... I miss you. All the time. I travelled with someone who... made it easier. But no. I haven't... moved on. Not... just like that.

[ Uh, definitely the wrong place. For a second or two, she almost looks shocked enough to not be upset. But only for a second or two. It bleeds to confusion, because really, he isn't making much sense. Stumbling around words because of ones he won't say. ]

Martha- and Donna? [ Because it's easier to list those who helped him when she couldn't- even if she might have felt resentment in the early days. There was none for it anymore. Not for the women, at least. ]

.. Say it. [ Please ]

Martha and Donna, yeah…

[ He says it slowly just for the delay. Now she's asking him for it. She knows what he's holding back, of course she does, and now she's asking him for it.

If he ever needed a final push – and how he does – this would be it. He was going to say it. He can say it.

She's asking, and how could he deny Rose?

He swallows, and smiles, something soft and sad, maybe a hint of scared, but… happy. Fond and happy. A wonderful, great mix of things. And isn't that love, anyway? ]

I love you.

[ She's not holding her breath, though she thinks maybe she should be. Would he brush it off again, despite the blatant request? It wouldn't be the first time- though never quite for something like this. Nothing this important. And she knew he felt it. He just had to. No matter what he or anyone else said. He felt the same way. Even if it was terrifying just to try and withhold such a thought. Because what if he didn't?

But he does. He does. Three stupid words confirming it, and it's like the weight of the worlds have been pulled off her shoulders, and his voice settled right down inside her chest. Her tears have stopped, but her face is still wet. And yet she still manages to not care enough, to reach up for his lapels in a way that leaves her with the slightest sense of deja vu, and drags him down to her mouth. He's kissed plenty of other people, other women. This time, Rose wants her turn. ]

[ He's gotten dragged down like that before. By this body, even, only it wasn't actually Rose, so that doesn't really count. He probably should have expected it, but he still finds himself shocked, for a moment.

And then he returns it, of course. He's wanted this, he really has, and it's been a long time coming. He's just been too... worried about it. Afraid again. Told himself it wouldn't be fair to her, all of it, at all. But he can hardly fight her at this point, can he? No way he would. So he kisses her, and wraps his arms around her waist to hold her to him.

There's something that's let go. He's not sure what exactly, but it's a good feeling. And, honestly, that's all that matters, anyway. ]

[ Whether or not Rose ever remembered what exactly Cassandra did whilst in command of her body, is anyone's guess. It's never come up. But this is much, much different, isn't it? With Rose being Rose, and much more sure of her actions, not quite as sultry about it, but still just as enthusiastic. And no one would ever dare to blame her.

She doesn't blame him for being afraid, either. Not with what she knows. And she's been frightened too. Scared of rejection, more on principle than any rejection of feelings, but ... And even just his arms around her waist, the difference it makes from how he normally holds her, has her making a noise somewhere between a mewl and a giggle. Definitely a happy noise, if anything.

But letting go is good. Definitely, definitely good. Because it's such a long time coming. Of being torn apart and fought back together- time and again. Perhaps more-so on her part, but the ache of being apart? Rose might imagine that a shared burden. And don't mind the leaning. Just because they're on the edge of the couch doesn't mean they don't have a chance of falling over, do they? ]

[ That is a lot of leaning. A very slight part of the Doctor's mind considers the idea of struggling against it and keeping them straight, with his arms around her and everything. But the rest of his mind is rather too occupied with the kissing, and just keeping Rose close. So if he leans with her, it has everything to do with that.

This wasn't in the plan, this was so far from the plan. All because people apparently couldn't keep shut about his endeavours with women. And, maybe, if he thinks about it now, he feels he can't really complain about it. He's not sure he had a plan, anyway. If he did, he doesn't care if they're ruined now. ]

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01 | Video

[Video | Private] -> [Acting] Just assuming he's been in her room because duh

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