asgardeventide | 1ST JEER [text]

HEY.
HEY.
THE FUCK IS THIS? THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOUSES. AND GODS. AND OTHER BORING BULLSHIT. WHO CARES?
THAT BITCH PRATTLED ON. FOR SO LONG. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. OF BOREDOM. SO I STOPPED LISTENING AFTER A WHILE.
HEY. HEY.
HEY!!
I WANT ANSWERS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T KEEP DOING THIS. UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM TO ME. GUY BEHIND THE COMPUTER.
NOT THAT THIS IS A COMPUTER. IT'S MORE LIKE A SHITTY BRACELET.
BUT WHO CARES I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE.
I AM HOLDING YOU AT RANSOM. UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME. I WILL KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU DO.
ALSO. BEFORE I FORGET. WHERE ARE MY GIANT OGRES?
I SWEAR IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY OGRES. I WILL KILL YOU.
......
CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MAROON-STRIPE HAT BACK?
I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT HIM AND I MISS HIM ALREADY.
WHAT A PAL.
HE LET ME RIDE ON HIS SHOULDER. AND PUNCHED SOME WEIRD HUMAN SO HARD. HE RIPPED A HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.
IT WAS GREAT.
MAROON-STRIPE? WHERE ARE YOU??
DAMMIT SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!
I AM NOT SHUTTING UP UNTIL YOU DO.

[Don't tempt him, he is more than willing to be the biggest petulant brat in all of the universes until he gets his way.]

[ooc: An opt out post if anyone decides that they really REALLY don't want me to tag them with Caliborn. It won't get better from here folks.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

SEA-DWELLER?
WAIT.
ARE YOU A TROLL?
OH FUCK. YOU'RE A TROLL. AREN'T YOU?

D --> Of course I am
D --> What filthy degenerate creature did you think I was
D --> Are you not one as well or are you merely posing

UGH.
FUCK NO.
I DON'T PRETEND TO BE A TROLL ASSHOLE.
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU. THAT IN THE VAST SPANS OF MANY UNIVERSES. THERE ARE OTHER RACES WITH MULTIPLE BLOOD COLORS. AND WE TYPE IN THEM?
SHIT YOU'RE DUMB.
HANG ON.

[And Caliborn switches over to video feed to let Equius get a good look at him.]

See asshole?! Not a troll!

Ah, there are more of your kind. It would appear that the other was taught much better manners than you were.

Pity. I see your species has multiple colors in that case. Thank you for the information.

What other one? I'm the only Cherub I know of. Cherubs live alone and don't meet any of their kind. Not until mating time anyway.

There is another here like you. By the name of Calliope. We have spoken on occasion.

Curious mating rituals. I wonder why.

[...That's a joke right?]

The only Cherub I know named Calliope died. Because I killed her. Cut your bullshit.

I don't see why that would complicate matters extensively. I've been dead for some time according to the others, and death is not apparently a conclusion to one's activities. Besides, several dead people are present in Asgard, and death here is largely meaningless.

We come back in a matter of hours.

[He groans.]

Forget it. Explaining it to you would be a fucking pain. I don't have time for bullshit! Answer my questions troll.

What's to explain? She died in your world, and lives here. But ask, and if you're respectful perhaps I will answer.

Hey! I'm plenty respectful. For example. I have not made a threat in the last minute to kill you.

[That takes a lot of effort Equius, ok don't diminish his efforts.]

No, you have not. Regardless, ask away. There are limits to my knowledge and willingness, after all.

[Because, while he had no real issues with her being killed, he actually liked Calliope more than you.]

[We'll see about that Equius. If Caliborn is anything, it's persistent to a fault.]

Ok. So what is it with all these Gods and houses? I don't know shit about Gods. I've also never lived in a house before.

Eight powerful creatures manage this city, called gods by the people. Each has a house and they sponsor us being here. The powers you have while you're here are granted by the god that sponsors you, and the house you have a room in is the same.

What house?

Uh...

[Give him a moment.]

Thorn. Or something like that. Thor...Thorn? Same difference!

The warrior's house. Strength or Speed. If Cherubs are like trolls at all, stronger than humans, you may not even notice the difference should you gain strength or speed. You would not have lost some of the prodigious might you had before. Or perhaps you've gained a small amount. Most of us have lost considerable potency in coming here.

I have strength. Being fast is a useless skill. Unless you're yellow hat. He's ok. Even if he is annoying.

Well, given your obsession with firearms, it would permit you to ignore recoil considerably better. If you could find them, you might even acquire a higher caliber weapon for mounting on each arm.

...

I suppose from an artillerist's perspective that has some merit.

I don't need two weapons! Only losers need two guns to kill. One gun is more than enough. To fire a barrage of bullets. I can even shoot it while I walk!

I would not argue with the logic there. I am not a lover of firearms as you can tell. Regardless, the strength will have its uses.

I don't get it. Why no firearms? You look strong. For a troll anyway.

It is the warrior ideal, naturally. Archery is the picture of the perfection of warfare, a mixture of skill, precision, training, strength and composure. If a person truly masters the bow, they are the explicit master of themselves.

I... cannot completely denegrate firearms. I simply think the sea-dweller relies on them as a crutch at times.

Sounds like more hard work. Using a gun isn't all that easy either. But shit, it's easier than dealing with all that bullshit. And I don't know who the fuck this sea-dweller you're talking about is. But I bet he's not as good as I am with a gun.

Almost certainly the hardest of works. It is a matter of the warrior ideal. Why would one expect to achieve the greatest heights. Thousands of them, with the power of full strength behind them is a sight to behold, a veritable rain of death.

As for Eridan? You could always ask him.

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1ST JEER [text]

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