01. audio

[panzerlied]

Do you really expect me to believe that this is the work of gods?! Nonsense! As if I had nothing better to do than waste time in some colorless town, anyway!

Eroica, if you have anything to do with this, I swear I'll shave your head bald, you stupid thief!

[ He makes a pause to calm down, and a sigh can be heard. As angry as he is, there is no point in yelling to civilians, and he knows there is no way Dorian is behind this.  ]

My name is Klaus Eberbach, NATO agent. Alphabets, if you are here, you'd better have something useful to tell me. Report yourselves.

[ Another pause. ]

... Damn, I could really use a smoke right now.

Comments

voice;

[knickerweasels]

Klaus Eberbach? Now that sounds like a proper Anderfels name, if ever I heard one.

...I take it you aren't from the Anderfels, though. [ ah well. doesn't everyone have someone in their lives they want to shave bald in an act of necessary vengeance? ]

voice;

[panzerlied]

I'm from Germany, actually. I'm not familiar with the Anderfels.

voice;

[knickerweasels]

And I'm not familiar with Germany. So that makes two of us.

The name just sounds familiar, that's all. Like it's meant to be spoken over a slab of depressing ham.

voice;

[panzerlied]

Is there such thing as depressing ham?

voice;

[knickerweasels]

...If you've never heard of depressing ham, then you definitely aren't from the Anderfels. My mistake, then. And here I thought I'd found a kindred...something.

voice;

[panzerlied]

I can understand wanting something familiar in a place like this.

voice;

[knickerweasels]

Right. ...Something like that.

So--did you find your friend? [ he uses the word loosely. ] The one you want to shave bald.

voice;

[panzerlied]

Assuming he managed to keep his hands for himself for five minutes, I don't think he's here.

He'd already be bothering me by now.

voice;

[knickerweasels]

Oh, yes. I know the type. A little too well.

[ don't they all? ]

...Still, it's always the most annoying ones that end up being kidnapped with you--and the people you can tolerate who aren't--isn't it? I mean, not that I wish kidnapping on my actual friends, but you can't help but take it a little personally when they don't show up and everyone annoying does, can you?

voice;

[panzerlied]

[ So he's not the only person it happens to. ]

It's never the people one tolerates! I could count with one hand the times I've been stuck with people I don't hate.

[ A groan. ]

The only good thing about that is that if they're with me, they are not out there being a pain in the ass for everyone else.

voice;

[knickerweasels]

I think I could do it with one finger. Maybe two--if I feel like looking on the bright side that day.

[ not that he does that often. ]

Why do so many people insist on being so awful? If I've asked myself that question once, I've probably asked it a thousand times.

You're just lucky your 'pain in the ass' isn't currently here with you. Making things painful. What else?

voice;

[panzerlied]

By the way you talk, I guess that yours is?

voice;

[knickerweasels]

Only one of them. But still--he's the worst of the lot.

voice;

[panzerlied]

At least the city is relatively big. Unless you've both been placed in the same house, in which case there is nothing that can be done, it shouldn't take much effort to avoid them.

voice;

[knickerweasels]

That's true enough. Though my particular sort of luck never works out that way somehow--I can't imagine why. There must be a 'follow me about and be an ass' sign stuck to my back where I can't see it.