005 ♒ Video | Day 199

[fishdouche]

Good day, Asgard.

[The violet sea troll offers a surprisingly friendly wave, sitting at the oak desk in his room in the Baldr welcome hall. He twirls a feather quill in his other hand as he speaks.]

I came across a grubdisc I had nearly forgotten, an' it reminded me of a question I'd been dyin' to ask you.

[He pauses for emphasis, leaning in to smirk conspiratorially.]

Has anyone here evver felt personally vvictimized by Sollux Captor?

If the answwer is yes, an' I suspect it wwill be, I havve a proposition that you wwill find mutually beneficial.

An' Sol, if you're fuckin' eavvesdroppin' like the slitherbeast in the grass that you are, you should knoww that I intentionally didn't hide this little message from your repulsivve mutant eyes because I wwanted you to knoww just howw many people wwish you wwere fuckin' dead. Maybe you could do them a favvor an' take care a' that little predicament a' your still bein' alivve all on your owwn.

[Didn't hide it, couldn't hide it. Same difference. Either way, he disconnects the video shortly after with a laugh.]
 

Comments

[fishdouche]

fuck off equ
its a honest question an one i expect a vvery specific answwer to
you dont wwant to answwer it then go dry your disgustin self off wwith one a those towwels a yours
an join another club
cause this ones not fuckin open enrollment

[alternia_strength]

D --> I am having e%tremely large amounts of difficulty believing your protestations
D --> Were you to desire this to remain selective, why post it so publicly

[fishdouche]

because i wwant him to knoww just howw many people wwant to wwring that mustard colored neck a his

[alternia_strength]

D --> You are attempting to establish viable mating partners for him
D --> Odd
D --> I was unaware that you w00ld do something so magnanimous for him

[fishdouche]

there is such a thing as platonic fuckin hate you knoww
i just wwant people wwho wwould literally push the freak off a cliff

[alternia_strength]

D --> This appears to be considerable trouble for something frivolous
D --> Are there not more productive uses of your time

[fishdouche]

havve you looked fuckin around equ
not much for a troll like me to do in this city

[alternia_strength]

D --> I am not responsible for your lack of imagination
D --> Nor should I be comfortable teaching you about such things as a superior
D --> I am certain you can still manage regardless

[fishdouche]

wwaht you wwould havve me a seadwweller take a job like a common fuckin lowwblood
wwait tables or help people find books
disgustin

[alternia_strength]

D --> I hope that you demonstrate greater ingenuity in occupational selections than f00d services
D --> As you have said
D --> You are not merely a lowbl00d
D --> There are standards

[fishdouche]

wwell wwhat fuckin else am i supposed to do here equ
theres not a lot a wwork for a sharpshooter
especially one wwithout a goddamn harpoon gun

[alternia_strength]

D --> Weapons can be crafted with an effort
D --> Perhaps you could inquire of these gods
D --> I noticed that their shrines come with offers now
D --> Of course it would require you to swallow your pride and not choke

[fishdouche]

im not askin those fuckin liars for a goddamn thing
so try again equ

[alternia_strength]

D --> It is not my place to give unending suggestions on how to improve yourself
D --> You will find something or history will repeat itself

[fishdouche]

an just wwhat the fuck do you mean by that
history repeatin itself

[alternia_strength]

D --> It is not my place to criticize the activities or ability to learn and grow of my betters
D --> It would be horrendously improper for me to do such a thing
D --> You would not demand it

[fishdouche]

and wwhy wwouldnt i demand it
i am your fuckin superior am i not
tell me wwhat you meant finless

[alternia_strength]

[Someone was ordering him around, and they should have known better than to do something like that.]

D --> To demand such a thing is a pure scandal
D --> How very inappropriate and bold
D --> Very well
D --> I do not e%pect you to be able to demonstrate any ability to grow or try something new
D --> You are not known for your creativity

[fishdouche]

ugh please tell me you can get through this chat wwithout needin a towwel
an wwhat do you mean by that
havve you forgotten my doomsday machines
those required a fuck of a lot a creativvity

[alternia_strength]

D --> Thank you for reminding me
D --> I truly require one right now
D --> And no
D --> I have not forgotten the d00msday machines that were made for you

[fishdouche]

god you disgust me
then you knoww i am the most creativve troll

[alternia_strength]

D --> I am quite familiar with Vriska's creativity in concocting such creations yes
D --> She is rather unceasing in fashioning them

[fishdouche]

but i commissioned them
an came up wwith all the plans

[The sad part is that he actually believes that.]

[alternia_strength]

D --> Then it is you to blame for their incapability of completing their task and not Vriska

[This was as subtle as Equius got. A little dig at both of them, all at once. He was even a touch proud of it.]

[fishdouche]

ITS NOT MY FUCKIN FAULT
shes the one wwho couldnt make them right