asgardeventide | third wing Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ video

[There's a very, very tall man on your video today, Asgard. A man in a bright purple suit, and sunglasses even though there's no sun to be seen, what with the oncoming winter weather.]

Yeah, so I don't do this often, the posting thing, I mean, but I felt like something needed to be said.

[And he holds up his clasped hands, opening them slightly- inside them is a colorless butterfly, flapping it's wings feebly.]

Since it's pretty much a given we are going to be stuck here for a while long, possibly forever because life hates us, I've figured I ought to do something with my time about the insect population, considering winter's coming and all.

That's right, insects. Because at least these things are way more deserving of my help than humans are. So, here's the deal! I'm going to be creating one of those...what are they called, butterfly houses? And you bring me any butterflies or moths you have hanging around your place. Consider it a nice little donation to the cause, alright? And I don't know, I'll do something like not insult you for 24 hours. That's a pretty good deal, take advantage of it.

[A pause as he frowns at the camera.]

However...if you bring me any dead butterflies or moths, I'll seriously punch you in the face. They have to be alive. Don't test me, okay?

...

And if anyone actually knows how to create a butterfly house in the first place, that would be kind of helpful too.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[oh god NOT YOU AGAIN]

Oh, right, because bees are clearly the best, considering they spend 100% percent of their lives following a queen like a brainless zombie.

Butterflies do their own thing. That's what makes them so great.

butterfliie2 fall over iin the fiir2t 2tiiff breeze, no 2tamiina, no purpo2e but two 2iit there and look emiinently de2tructiible.
they're weak, they 2uck, get over iit.
there'2 nothiing they do a bee couldnt do.

Tell that to the thousands of dead bees they find every year back home. Bees are slowly becoming endangered where I come from, became entire colonies of them are dying and nobody has any idea why. What did they call it, "Colony Collapse Disorder"? And they're trying to help the poor things, but nobody's found any solution.

Meanwhile, butterflies are thriving happily and are finding new ways to survive as nature changes around them. So, while you may say that bees are the stronger ones, let me say this:

Look who's still standing.

thank you for confiirmiing all human planet2 are effectiively defectiive iin 2ome way, ii've really been wonderiing about that.
becau2e you 2ee, on my planet, butterfliie2 are the2e hiilariiou2 liittle fo22iil2 we talk about.
look how funny evolutiion ii2, iit created thii2 helple22 liittle freak of nature wiith no way of defendiing iit2elf.
ii2nt iit cute, iit diidnt even 2tand a chance agaiin2t the sentiient mean green motherfucker, iit'2 a wonder we ever knew about them at all.

Hey, buster, I never said I came from a "human" planet. I lived there too, and it's much of my planet as theirs. Even more so, actually.

Oh, wow, I'm so upset that alien butterflies are all extinct, what ever shall I do?
Looks like I have to say that your planet officially sucks, if nature was built in such a way to extinguish all the useful forms of life and leave behind the useless ones. Like yourself.
Besides, how did you know they exist if they did go extinct? Butterflies don't actually leave physical fossils, they would be degraded with anything else biological.
Did you just read that in a book somewhere and thought "gee, this archaeologist who has never seen a butterfly in his life is totally truthful?"
Talk about moronic.

And what in the world is this sentient green jerk you're talking about? What, is he some person who had a vendetta against butterflies or something?

Edited 2012-12-09 04:58 (UTC)

domiinant 2peciie2 claiim2 the planet.
ergo, human.
and you look human 2o youre dii2qualiifiied, 2orry to break iit two you but you could fiit riight iin.
ii know iit2 hard, try two keep your ineviitable exiistentiial crii2ii2 two your2elf.

joke2 on you, diip2hiit, unle22 your planet doe2nt have fo22iliized re2iin, iin whiich ca2e wow that place mu2t be fucked up beyond all mea2ure iif you no longer have TREE2.
iin whiich ca2e your iignorance ii2nt really excu2able anyway becau2e your planet 2uck2 iif iit doe2nt even have re2iin two, you know, capture any liiviing thiing that wonder2 iinto iit2 path liike b rated amorphou2 2pace mon2ter.
do you have tho2e moviie2? 2uck2 two be you iif you dont, yet another tally iin the column for "why human2 and theiir planet 2uck more a22 than anybody el2e iin any known galaxy and uniiver2e."
you dont even know what a mean green motherfucker ii2.
iit2 2o 2ad ii could cry, my 2aliine duct2 are ju2t welliing up at the thought of iit.
waiit no, fal2e alarm, that2 tear2 of boredom at thii2 conver2atiion.

iit2 ba2iically a giiant 2entiient plant that grow2 two be the 2iize of buiildiing2 and feed2 on anythiing wiith a pul2e and a drop of blood.
there, now you know.
al2o 2uppo22edly they talked but that2 2tupiid, everyone know2 planet2 dont have vocal chord2.

Yeah, well, you're an idiot. You know why? Because if you cut me open I'm the last thing from human.
I don't even have the same color blood as them, let alone have the same life cycle! When was the last time you heard humans hatching from eggs, huh?
What you see on the outside is definitely what is not on the inside, you mustard-colored moron.

Yeah, well, we have trees, but good luck trying to find some untouched by soot and smog from human cities.
And we have those movies, and once again, not human, so I'm not the one who made them.
Ooh, because you crying would make me feel pity for insulting you...not.
I could go all day at this, you know.

Oh, that sounds nice, actually, I wonder why your green guy didn't have the mind to feed on you yet.
Probably because you were too dumb to become it's prey.
Hey, who knows, you're the one with the plant that eats everyone and everything, not me.
Like I care if it has vocal chords or not.

ooooh, you hatch from an egg, how not fuckiing 2peciial ii2 that.
iif iit look2 liike a mammal and blend2 iin wiith the mammal2 maybe 2omebody 2hould get over theiir 2en2iitiiviity for beiing called out a2 one.

2o could ii.
ii dont know iif you actually thiink youre clever or youre ju2t de2perately tryiing two keep up, ii dont know why the hell you thiink ii would care iif you piitiied me for not.
one, iim taken, and two, iitd be liike a2kiing the boot iif iit ha2 an opiiniion on the liife of an ant.
you liiterally do not regii2ter a2 a per2on wiith a thought of worth, iit2 my form of miindle22 entertaiinment.

or two 2mart two diie?
ok 2o are you done, ii2 thii2 the be2t you can do or do you have 2omethiing youre workiing toward2 and there2 goiing two be 2ome kiind of 2avage payoff.
you really need two work on the tiimiing of your trolliing.

Newsflash, idiot. Mammals don't hatch from eggs. They give birth to live young.
Seriously, they teach that to human children when they're like five yeas old, you are seriously lacking on intelligence and education here.
No matter how you go around it, I'm the last thing from a mammal.

Wow, same here! Even a human has more redeeming qualities than you do, and frankly, knowing me, that's saying something.
And what do you mean, "taken"?
Do you think I'm flirting with you? I don't know whether to be amused or disgusted.
Going with amused, here.

I don't know, are you going to keep whining about "ooh, I'm the better one here" for the rest of this conversation or are you going to say anything else besides your stupid little 2's?
I don't know about you, but I'm sincerely unimpressed by how unintelligent you really are.
Congratulations on being the dumbest thing alive on the planet.

ii know where fuckiing mammal2 come from, diid ii 2ay ii wa2 a mammal or anythiing liike a mammal.
2o you hatched from an egg, welcome two the club, would you liike your complementary who giive2 a fuck t 2hiirt.
we only have them iin 2iize eat 2hiit blowhard, but ii thiink you miight be able to manage 2omehow.

ii thiink you are de2perate two get 2omebody two pay attentiion two you.
iit would be cute iif iit werent 2o iineffectiive, how badly you want two have thii2 pii22iing conte2t riight now.
protiip, miine ii2 biigger than your2 and ii can aiim better than you, etc. 2o dont even bother tryiing two compare your2elf two me.
you arent iin any po2iitiion two que2tiion my competence and let2 face iit you really never wiill be butterfly boy.

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