asgardeventide | 04 | Video / failed filter from Ange

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04 | Video / failed filter from Ange

Alright, listen up, this one's to all the guys who've hit puberty. Every one of you. You see this girl?

[He holds up a photo of

]

That's Ange. She's my kid. Real cute, right? I know. Well don't get thinking she's too cute, 'cause you're not allowed to talk to her. If I catch any guys talking to her, I'm gonna track them down and gut them like a fish, you got it? Good. Well here's a list of offenders so far after looking back on the bracelet. You guys are safe for now, but consider this your final warning.

Ryuunosuke Uryuu
Eridan Ampora
Hijiri Shinozuka
Kiyomasa Senji
Shiki Tohno
Kurt Hummel
Aoto
Soushi Miketsukami
Arihiko Inui
Kaz
Nezumi
Shion
Koda Hasegawa
Austin O'Brien
Hisao Nakai

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE RUINED YOUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTER'S EARS WITH MY INANE CHATTER AND IMPROPER CONVERSAAAATION!

I confess! I talked to her!

[Actually, she talked to him first-]

Put me on your list! Look on me with disgust and scorn! I deserve it all!

...No, no, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with that, calm down a minute.

Oooh, of course I have already trampled on the precious bond between father and daughter! I'm so unspeakably evil that I can destroy familial blood with my thoughtless speech! I know I can never correct my horrid mistakes, but I swear to you I will never speak to her again!

Really, it's fine! You can talk to her any time you like! I don't see the problem!

[There are tears rolling down his cheeks... orz]

Such a devoted father...! I truly am touched. I don't deserve your blessed tolerance, thank you!

Heh, no problem. Anything to get that pretty face to stop crying.

[Yep he thinks he's a woman.]

[I think we've reached over 10 people Ritsu's "fooled"...]

I'm sorry, I'll stop crying immediately! I know I'm very weak and prone to tears... but to know that such a good father is here, it's almost more than my pathetic heart can take! Surely you have raised a fine daughter!

Hey, don't call yourself that, you're not pathetic at all! It's kind of sweet. She's a real good kid, I bet you'd do a great job yourself.

I would make a terrible father... it's best my genes were never shared by any poor soul. So it is a relief to know that your ability to be a good father outshines any chance I could ever have! You more than make-up for my absence of good the ability to be a good parent!

Well sure, maybe you couldn't be a good father, but you could be a great mother!

...

But... sir, I cannot give birth!

[... that's just going to make him think the "girl" is infertile, isn't it.]

[y e p]

Oh, hey, don't worry about it! My sister-in-law couldn't either, but she took some pills and managed to have a kid! Even if you can't, you can always adopt, there's nothing wrong with that, right? It's a real good thing to do!

But to call me a mother, that doesn't seem right... I-I'm more than happy to watch over other children, though. I've often babysat my younger cousins!

You don't want to have kids of your own? Sure, it's not for everybody, didn't really expect to have kids myself, but, there you go.

It's a bit complicated and private to explain... but... I do genuinely appreciate your help, sir. You are very kind.

Don't worry about it, I'm sure whatever it is, it's not as bad as you think. Glad I can help!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

04 | Video / failed filter from Ange

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