asgardeventide | 005 - Video (Accidentally not private to Gamzee)

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005 - Video (Accidentally not private to Gamzee)

[It's about two hours after Samantha met Gamzee for the first time. She's got a splitting headache and a nasty snarl on her face as she's holding an ice pack to her head. Her original intent in setting this post up is to make this a private post to the troll, but either because of that splitting headache, the fact that she's not 100% sure which is his account or just being in an angry rush, she's not getting the privacy thing quite right. So everyone gets to hear her cuss that looks at the video.]

Hey! Gamzee!

Round one, you dumbass, troglodyte clown. You win round one. The next time you try to wang me over the head, you bloody well swing better than a gimp chimpanzee or you're going to regret it. You hear me, motherfucker? I'm going to find you one of these days and re-arrange that ugly little face of yours until you can't recognize it in a mirror.

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Next time you should probably private the angry rage stream. It's just not tactful to go screaming your head off at a person where everyone can see, and trust me, I would know. Normally, it's not anybody's fucking business but your own.

In this case, though, you're screaming at my best friend, which means that--you guessed it! It's my fucking business now.

Who are you, and what happened.

[She just growls initially. It had been meant to be private, but so be it. She glares at the bracelet for a minute and mutters something unpleasant, though indistinct.]

Last time you and I talked, I was stuck in the body of your pissant neighbor, Karkat. Name's Samantha. Your best friend started stalking me in the damned mirror maze over at the amusement park. We shouted at each other and honky honky came and whacked me over my mother fucking head.

I owe the little pissant a rematch. Don't worry. I won't touch his horns... however much I really really want to right now.

[Whelp. Gamzee was going to respond, buuut...it looks like Karkat's got this one.

[Plus, he may or may not have gotten is bracelet taken away...]

[Because he'd probably just have aggravated her more? Hehe.]

[No, because he's a very bad little troll with a very good little moirail.]

[He pauses. Well, he kind of liked Samantha. Maybe he could still salvage this acquaintanceship, after a bit of reprimanding.]

Oh, so you just ignored the warnings. I probably wasn't very clear. Let me elaborate on why we don't fuck with Gamzee.

[He holds up one finger.]

One. He's fucking crazy.

[A second finger.]

Two. He's skilled at using body control, and he won't hesitate to turn you into a ragdoll to you if you piss him off.

[Three.]

Three. He's beyond violent when you make him snap.

[Then he holds up all of his fingers.]

Four through ten. He's fucking crazy.

Just forget it, Samantha. Gamzee's my responsibility, and I'm not letting him get into a fight.

[*giggles* It's good to have friends who know when to remind you of your 'better qualities' and get you to stay out of trouble.]

[Karkat, you can practically hear the narrowed eye look she's giving the bracelet right now.]

Ignore nothing. I went to the carnival to see the ghosts. Crazy boy started following me. If you think ignoring warnings involves walking down certain parts of town, you're going to sound a lot like Kaz, and I'm not playing the 'this is my turf' game with anyone. Not you, not Kaz, not Gamzee, not the king poobah of all demons, Lucifer fucking Morningstar [She hasn't noticed he's not around yet.]

I didn't know it was him for sure until the son of a bitch was chasing me around the damned maze like a giggling idiot and pissing me the hell right off.

[Now, in reality, by troll standards she was probably provoking Gamzee. However, that was a nuance she didn't really understand.

And if she needed to wait for that rematch, she could wait. She wanted a swing at the little horned idiot.]

Trouble seems to follow you around a lot.

Story of my damned life. I'm a walking sitcom, and apparently he wanged me just good enough that I hit 'let's shout at everyone!' so I got his friend instead of him. Freaking trolls. If it's not a lipstick turning into a chainsaw, it's someone with a bicycle horn and a freaking nightstick.

And here I was thinking they almost made sense for a minute. Silly me.

I dunno, I think it happens to a lot of us. The time I've been here has been quieter than the past couple years back home.

Okay, he works at the fucking Carnival, and he was probably pissing around until he got provoked or something. I'm taking disciplinary actions myself.

Hey! It's MY head the little half-wit wanged. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a concussion for a concussion! It's not like he's the first crazy son of a bitch I've ever...

[She sounds really irritated, though that might just be the pounding in her skull talking right now.]

Fine.

[You know that moment when someone who says 'fine,' only they don't mean it? Yeah, this is possibly one of those moments. Sam's not a forgiving person.]

I suggest a nightstick to the back of the head. And I'm NOT avoiding the carnival just because Pagliacci works there. Got it?

I'd say we're a little better than I'm used to, but that doesn't make today any more pleasant. Like I told people when I got here. I'm not the one they called in for the happy emotions.

Uh... huh. Well, you look like you could maybe use something a little faster acting than an icepack? I'd be happy to lend a hand with that.

Makes sense. That would suck, getting hit in the head like that. You okay, though?

I don't think I was either, for the most part.

Yeah. I think I might actually take you up on that this time. You can stop by my place if you want. It's late, but I'll fix you some coffee. I'm living over in Loki district these days.

Splitting headache a friend says he's going to help with and I want to kick a certain troll's face in, but otherwise peachy. How about you?

That's good that you've got somebody to help with it.

I'm kinda bored. There's stuff to do, but not having work is weird.

... Rough day, Samantha-chan?

Yeah - Coffee sounds really good. What's the address? Loki is right next door to Sigyn so it won't take me long.

You could say that, yeah. It's getting figured out, one way or another. How've you been?

There's jobs around if you want to find something to occupy your time, you know. No reason you don't have to have a job around here.

[Directions reach him easily enough.]

The coffee should be ready by the time you get here. Knock three times, steady. I don't usually expect guests... ever, really. So, it's good that I know who's at the door, Hisao.

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