4th CASE | ANONYMOUS TEXT

[deductions]

[ Okay, so Holmes and Watson are interested in acquiring Paid Housing. They're in need of a flatmate to share expenses. Feel free to troll/not answer the application. ]

In need of a third person to share better accommodations between an eligible bachelor and his esteemed friend.

Applicant must:
- enjoy the sounds of the violin
- have no objections to the smell of tobacco and chemicals
- be willing to partake in a 'barter' system between fellow housemates.
- good conversationalist is a bonus, but not a necessity. you're here to help us pay rent, not be our friend.
- be tolerant of those who keep late hours.
- Not touch anything owned by esteemed friend.

Please fill in the 'form' - as they say - below to be considered.

Your patronage is obliged.


<b>Name</b>: <b>What you would prefer us to know you as</b>: <b>Age</b>: On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number. <Blockquote><b>I am fond of silence</b> - <b>I need constant attention</b> - <b>I am up to date on the affairs of this city</b> - <b>I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary</b> - <b>Goethe is pithy</b> - <b>I am educated</b> - <b>I am well read</b> - <b>I am interesting</b> - <b>I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment</b> - <b>I am a unkempt individual </b> - <b>Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave</b> - <b>I am a secretive individual</b> - <b>I am (potentially) fond of dogs</b> - </blockquote> Complete the following: <b>Straining upon the start. The game's</b> <b>A man is measured in the way he</b> <b>It is capital mistake to</b> <b>How interesting I am is attributed to the fact</b>: <b>C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for</b> <b>I am from the year</b> <b>Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod?</b> <b>John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because</b> <b>I cope with boredom by</b>

Comments

text;

[furrows]

[Are they allowed to ask questions? Because Alan is going to ask questions.]

A barter system? I haven't heard someone say that in terms of rent in ages.

PERMANON | PERMATEXT

[deductions]

[ YES THEY ARE. ]

Sharing of objects when necessary. Example, say I need a match or a vest - I should be able to come to my potential housemate and implore their services.

voice;

[digophelia]

[We don't need no stinking text.]

What sort of chemicals?

ANON TEXT

[deductions]

[ Nopeeeee. Sorry. Text all the waaay. ]

What sort of chemicals are you interested in?

[sup]

Name: dave
What you would prefer us to know you as: dave
Age: age is but a number my fair lad

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - silence is like an erogenous zone that people tend to ignore and tenderly brush up on all the wrong times. i like lulls especially when theyre 7 minutes long yo.
I need constant attention - are you asking me if im a baby begging to be fed like a cradled nuisance. my maturity and manhood are all at stake here. i wear the leggings and leotards and hoods in this flatemated family. god damn you i say
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - im pretty sure ive been here from the beginning dunno if you can say the same but i kind of dgaf about your personal experience
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - impure adulterated unexceptionable bullshit
Goethe is pithy - youre just somebody that i used to know
I am educated - fairly
I am well read - you can dress me if you want to
I am interesting - im like gouache and prada. versatile. if you dont cater to my every whim i may have to pull a voorhees and chop up your local teenage slaughterhouse 9 fam
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - im not a giant tool if thats what youre asking
I am a unkempt individual - keep that headcanon to yourself
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - i dont care enough to insert a sarcastically humorous response here
I am a secretive individual - yeah dude. every boy 2 mans got his share of past stories that are inexplicably none of your effing business
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - im more of a crow person myself but i wouldnt object

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's played a certain way. heart centramatic, feet move like a fanatic. its just a game.
A man is measured in the way he responds to a blog post regarding why there are no "mens activist groups"
It is capital mistake to drink and drive, text and drive, give your car to a minor
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: ??? cant you let your imagination run this one
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for maybelline, maybe its
I am from the year 140-596-9289 call me
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? no clue
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because that losers getting married and he didnt invite me to his wedding??
I cope with boredom by documenting every precedent failure and epic win divulged from the ball sack of the lack of internet here in asgard

[deductions]

Thank you for your consideration, however - the people in charge of reviewing this application have found it apt to decline your request on the basis that there was an astute lack of coherency. There were too much references from the year 140-596-9289, that fell upon deaf ears and even with my superior intellect - have failed to understand what all your haberdashery means.

Also you input text in a particularly jarring manner that is an obvious affect of your utter need for attention.

[ 2/ 2 ] BOTH OF THESE ARE ANON TEXTS :D

[deductions]

Addendum: I sincerely doubt you used to know Goethe.

text;

[lorentzian]

... that's some application.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the chemical formula for cocaine?

[deductions]

I see merits in being concise. The answers that followed are a display of a man's calibre and his psyche. This network is a potentially endless resource pool, Intend to use it.

Also yes, it is.

[tipsygnostalgia]

Name: Roxy
What you would prefer us to know you as: Roxy i guess
Age: is bit a number ;D
*but

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence it rly depends on the situation liek if when im doing somethin imporntant f yes i want silence
I need constant attention uhh no do you
I am up to date on the affairs of this city more or less yeah
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary i can bring out all the fancy wrods if u want that isntead
*words
*instead
Goethe is pithy uh sure
I am educated self taught?
I am well read heck yes ive read ever gamergirl EVER
I am interesting i think youve really got to thinkup taht opinin for urself
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment not sure what your gettign at here
I am a unkempt individual have u even SEEN the bathroom i share w/francey?
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave im not gonna b kissing him why do i care
I am a secretive individual u have no idea
I am (potentially) fond of dogs ive got nothing against dogs even thought i prenfer meowcats :3:3
*prefer

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's shakespheres boring
A man is measured in the way he thinks! :3
It is capital mistake to wear socks n sandals together just dont do it
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: am i meant 2 b talking about myself like a dumbass or feeding ur ego here
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for isnt that fucking coke
buddydo u have a pronblem
*problemo
I am from the year 2424 represent
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod?apple products r shit you could do so much better
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because that isnt rly your decicsion?
I cope with boredom by writing wizard smut or cloning cats
or i used to
now i just drink vodka bluh

[deductions]

Application denied on the basis that the art of punctuation, capitalization and spelling been lost in 2424 and the applicant is clearly inebriated. I cannot look at this much longer, I am trying to avoid letting any of this register on an emotional level.

text; I'm sorry I'm sorry I couldn't help it I had to pull this.

[sebasher]

[He knows this is Holmes, and this is his own version of trolling. :|]

Name: Col. Sebastian Moran
What you would prefer us to know you as: Col. Moran
Age: Forty-two.

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.
I'll take care of this as I please, chum. - S.M.

I am fond of silence - I'm only less fond of insufferable tossers who promise tiger and refuse to deliver in a timely manner.
I need constant attention - I believe you're a perfect five in this respect, Mr.Holmes.
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - All the current affairs. Mr. and Mrs. Busybody down the lane have married, Old Man Grey's eyesight's gotten the best of him and he's shot his foot clean off.
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - What sort of flavour do you prefer in your vocabulary?
Goethe is pithy - Goethe is German. That being said, this earns a one.
I am educated - Highly.
I am well read - I've read all the big names. Doesn't mean I agree with them.
I am interesting - More so than the average man, if I may speak well of myself for a moment.
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - According to you, that would be a one.
I am a unkempt individual - Another perfect five for you, Mr. Holmes. I do believe you've already beaten me.
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - Hold your tongue, old chap. I am certain that the female Moran would not appreciate your jab at her.
I am a secretive individual - Why should I tell you? It's a secret.
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - They aren't my first choice, but they make for an adequate hunt.

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's likely to be shot on sight without any hold-up.
A man is measured in the way he Oh, but it would be ungentlemanly of me to complete this the way I'd prefer to.
It is capital mistake to assume that a tiger has no life left in her before following her into a tunnel. Makes for great fun, tiger's claws in one's chest.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: Deduce it.
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for Not worth lifting a chemistry text book for the answer.
I am from the year 1882.
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? No.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because Why, haven't you heard? Bit of a tramp, that one. Spreads her legs for anyone. A disgrace to society. Why, were it not for the illustrious Scotland Yard, London shall seldom be able to cope with this prostitution epidemic.
I cope with boredom by Highly secretive, old chap.

Oh my god. I can't stop LAUGHING.

[deductions]

Thank you for your consideration, however - the people in charge of reviewing this application have found it apt to decline your request on the basis that you are projecting your feelings of resentment, towards another esteemed individual who may or may not be in this city unto this anonymous. The anonymous would like to reinstate that in defense of Mr. Holmes, that the tiger ( or other wild animal of his choosing ) would have theoretically delivered the alleged tiger ( or other wild animal of his choosing ) on time, because there was no agreed upon time by both parties. Regardless, the reviewer feels that you display your resentments too visibly and attack the unknown with them, for this we apologize and decline your application.

text;

[expy]

Hate to be a skeptic, but anonymously asking for roommates is never a good idea.

ANON TEXT

[deductions]

I see no faults in reasoning. Expound on what you mean.

[Text]

[learninghumanity]

[Oh, what the hell. She'll fill it out just out of curiosity as to the anonymous person's identity.]


Name: Laura Kinney
What you would prefer us to know you as: Laura
Age: Irrelevant.

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - 5
I need constant attention - 1
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - 3
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - 1
Goethe is pithy - No opinion.
I am educated - I had a very specialized eduction.
I am well read - 3
I am interesting - No opinion.
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - 5
I am a unkempt individual - 1
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - No opinion.
I am a secretive individual - 5
I am (potentially) fond of dogs -

I have no problem with dogs.

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's afoot. Alternately, the game may involve intensive cardiovascular activity.
A man is measured in the way he stands against a growth chart.
It is capital mistake to sneak up on me in the dark.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: that what is interesting is subjective.
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for Cocaine.
I am from the year 2011
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? A portable device designed for listening to music with minimal disturbance to other people.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because No opinion.
I cope with boredom by finding something to occupy my time.

ANON TEXT

[deductions]

[ She's quiet and knows her Shakespeare, that's honestly - enough for Holmes. He's going to wait it out before contacting her again, naturally - but he will be flagging down Watson to take a look at this entry. ]

Your application has been put under consideration.

Although, the reviewer is most curious on why it would be a capital mistake to sneak up on the applicant in the dark?

text

[minifridge]

Straining upon the start. The game's ahand.
A man is measured in the way he licks his elbow.
It is capital mistake to use the word "capital."
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact that I think I'm really, really interesting.
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for geeks.
I am from the year 1973.
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? It has to be the work of witches. We should burn it just to be sure.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because Sherlock Holmes has sensitive feelings.
I cope with boredom by asking people if they're interesting.

[deductions]

[ Trufax, Holmes did spend a good minute trying to lick his elbow like a madman. ]

Where is the rest of the survey?
Addendum: Sherlock Holmes has no feelings.

[gelbana]

Name: Mayuri
What you would prefer us to know you as: Mayushii~✰ [The star is necessary]
Age: 16!

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - 2
I need constant attention - 1
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - 1
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - 5
Goethe is pithy - What's that?
I am educated - Mayushii's gone to school before ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
I am well read - Do light novels count? 2
I am interesting - 3
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - Embwellishing? Is that super attack?
I am a unkempt individual - Kelp?
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - Mr.hair needs to go...
I am a secretive individual - Nopies
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - Doggies are always nice

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's super hard you need to unlock a bunch of secret levels.
A man is measured in the way he measures himself!
It is capital mistake to draw mustaches on cute teddy bears.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: Mayushii likes food.
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for Code Jeass
I am from the year 2010!
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? Cris would know.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because he needs to ally with Vitannia and meet Lord Zerosum first.
I cope with boredom by making costumes and singing songs. Bananas are yummy for a snack too.

ANON TEXT

[deductions]

[ Holmes is just so floored, WHAT IS THAT STAR EVEN. How is your reading comprehension this shot. ]

What language are you speaking? I don't quite understand.

[aggrievance]

[...Oh why not, maybe it will be fun.]

Name: Rose Lalonde.
What you would prefer us to know you as: I have accepted many names. I have been the illustrious Seer of Light, and there are those who have taken to calling me the Tentacle Therapist. Once upon a time, I was even given the handle of "Flighty Broad". But in my unending benevolence and goodwill, you may call me Rose.
Age: Approximately thirteen of my human earth years. Should you have an alien form of measuring life, I'm certain we could come to some sort of mathematical compromise.

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - Silence is golden, as they say, though I won't refuse the dull roar that comes with companionship.
I need constant attention - The tactical advantage is yours if you stay in the background.
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - Considering the city's need to broadcast it to the world every time they receive a splinter, this is not a particularly hard feat to accomplish. Unfamiliar experiences do bring people closer together, it seems.
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - I look to self-improvement. Today's word is "myriacanthous".
Goethe is pithy - So I hear.
I am educated - My mother did manage to come out of her haze of alcohol long enough to ensure I received a proper education.
I am well read - I have acquainted myself with the classics in the midst of my broodfester throes.
I am interesting - I can insist upon my appeal but ultimately one's tastes will vary from person to person. Perhaps we can find out as much in a more intimate setting.
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - A proper writer can always use embellishment effectively.
I am a unkempt individual - A comfortable clutter is most productive for a creative mindset.
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - My opinion remains on hold until I see said whiskers for myself.
I am a secretive individual - A lady is nothing without her secrets.
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - I've more experience with those of the feline persuasion, but I keep an open mind.

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's "--afoot. Follow your spirit, and upon this charge, cry — God for Harry! England and Saint George!" I feel I should ask, are we often going to spend time quoting Henry V?
A man is measured in the way he Supposedly it's in the way he thinks, but society seems to prefer those who comply rather than those who go against the tide. Far be it from me to oppose society's views.
It is capital mistake to "theorize before you have all the evidence", or so I recall reading once. Is the rest of the application going to consist of seeing if I can finish your sentences? I'm not quite sure I'm emotionally ready for kind of commitment.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: That's something I should allow you to decide for yourselves, yes?
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for Unfortunately, I lack my mother's natural talent for science despite my session's assumption that I would bloom as a geneticist. However, skimming some articles in the more scientific books of our lovely library tells me that this particular amount of Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen may lead to the creation of cocaine, fenoteral, hydromorphinol, hyoscine, or scopolamine. Should I rethink my application, fair Travelers?
I am from the year Two millennia and nine years.
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? I prefer Zune.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because I try not to involve myself so directly into the affairs of strangers unless charged for my services. I'm certain Mr. Watson and I can have a productive session about his marital woes should he come to me seeking help.
I cope with boredom by Consulting with the various horrorterrors of the deep proved to be a counterproductive pastime, so I have curbed my desire to remain hunched over my flesh-bound grimoire with only the last dying light of a sputtering candle flame to keep me company. Knitting proves to be just as satisfying of a hobby with far more to show for it, as does playing haunting violin refrains and pulling apart the phallic symbolism that often rears its evocative head during one's dreams.

[deductions]

A query before the verdict is to be put against the applicant. Would the applicant have any objections moral or otherwise, to the quoting of Henry V? The applicants attitude towards the Bard, is important to the esteemed friend's methodologies.

Addendum care to expound on Horrorterrors?

[histories]

[She's been thinking about moving out, and meeting new people is always interesting. Why not?]

Good evening. My application is as follows:

Name: Keine Kamishirasawa
What you would prefer us to know you as: Keine.
Age: 253. I can explain the reason for this age if so required.

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - 3
I need constant attention - 1
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - 4
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - 2
Goethe is pithy - I'm afraid I don't know who 'Goethe' might be.
I am educated - 5
I am well read - 5
I am interesting - 3
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - 4
I am a unkempt individual - 1
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - I am uncertain of who you refer to.
I am a secretive individual - 1
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - 3

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's afoot.
A man is measured in the way he that he thinks - and by extension, the way he carries himself to others.
It is capital mistake to theorize before one has all the facts, though in some cases speculation may be necessary ahead of time, to advance.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: I don't particularly find myself an interesting individual, but many from back home often compliment that I am gifted in both brains and beauty. Would that be sufficient?
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for I'm afraid I'm rather unversed with modern chemical equations.
I am from the year 2004
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? I'm afraid I don't know what an 'iPod' is.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because Ah? I don't know who 'John Watson' might be, but why not?
I cope with boredom by reading, or alternatively, keeping myself busy with various other chores and work

Thank you for your time.

[deductions]

[ He has nothing personal against this, he's just legitimately surprised someone took the time to answer this seriously. The reply takes some time as he needs the time and space to sort of 'mull over' the results. Keine wins points in some areas, being able to quote Henry V is a big bonus. Along with the fact she is educated and well read. He double backs however at the remark on her age. ]

An explanation of your age, would be rather apt before I can deliver verdict.

text;

[stungun]

[ PROBABLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE she just wants to see if she passes this guys test... ]

Name: Shion Sonozaki
What you would prefer us to know you as: Shion
Age: 17

On a range of 1-5. 1 being that you 'STRONGLY DISAGREE' and 5 being 'STRONGLY AGREE' - give your opinion on the following subjects. If you should be so inclined, do not hesitate to inflict your rather dull opinion instead of a number.

I am fond of silence - 3. I am fond of silence when I have a headache, and not when I'm bleeding on a street.
I need constant attention - 3. Constant attention is nice when you're sick, but not so nice when you're being chased by the cops.
I am up to date on the affairs of this city - 5. No remarks needed about this.
I have a limited spectrum of vocabulary - If I did, I wouldn't have been able to read this. 1.
Goethe is pithy - 3. Not bad.
I am educated - 4. Unfortunately.
I am well read - 4. Also unfortunately.
I am interesting - 5.
I am to the point and do not enjoy embellishment - I'm really only doing this to see if you'd accept me. Only after would I decide if I would want to live with you.
I am a unkempt individual - 0.
Sebastian Moran is in dire need of a shave - If it's brought up, then probably.
I am a secretive individual - 3. Everyone has demons.
I am (potentially) fond of dogs - 4.

Complete the following:

Straining upon the start. The game's afoot.
A man is measured in the way he spoons his coffee.
It is capital mistake to get in Shion's bad books.
How interesting I am is attributed to the fact: That I noticed you were missing the word "that".
C17H21NO4 is the chemical equation for nothing as lethal as I've seen.
I am from the year 1983, apparently.
Will you explain the meaning of this illustrious iPod? Apparently a device used to listen to music and connect to others. They didn't have them back home.
John Watson (Tall) should not push through with his marriage because he's better off being your friend.
I cope with boredom by going out and forcing my boredom upon others.

[deductions]

[ Yeah, he's going to zoom into one of your sentences. ]

Spoons his coffee? Care to elaborate.