[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

Comments

[video]

[parasiteye]

... [ hdu insult Qhhth'ssqhk ]

You're not that much of a looker yourself y'know.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[hdu 8|]

Much better off than that thing, I can tell you that.

[video]

[parasiteye]

As if! Look at you. You're...rickety.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[video]

[parasiteye]

And your haircut's stupid. Pretty much the only thing going for you is your huge forehead.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[...HISS.]

How dare you. My haircut's perfectly fine. If anything, you should see to fixing your own. And ditch the nail polish, unless you're trying to look like a teenage girl.

[video]

[parasiteye]

I don't paint my nails--that's stupid. Just like your haircut. [ AGAIN. 2x stupid hair combo draco ]

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[Urgggh shut uppp.]

They're black.

[video]

[parasiteye]

[ ]

I'm a demon.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[jfldkasjf 8|!!!! RUDE.]

So?

[video]

[parasiteye]

So I don't have normal delicate human nails, that's what.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[...wait a moment. Spiders. Demons.

...]

You're Kaz, aren't you?

[video]

[parasiteye]

--? Have we met? Think I'd remember hair that ugly though...

[video]

[wasthemaster]

Someone else told me about you. Spider demon, right?

[video]

[parasiteye]

Yyyep, that's me. Who told you about me?

[video]

[wasthemaster]

Who do you think?

[video]

[parasiteye]

Someone that doesn't like me.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

You have a lot of people that don't like you then? Why am I not surprised?

[video]

[parasiteye]

You're all shitty humans?

[video]

[wasthemaster]

Because you're so much better. I'm sure you're very intimidating with your little spider-friend and lack of demon powers.

[video]

[parasiteye]

Yeah? How about we go grab a bit to eat together sometime then? Starin' at you is making my jaw ache. [ and just because he can he's going to run his tongue over his rather sharpened teeth. ]

Guess what I eat, "demon powers" or no?

[video]

[wasthemaster]

...don't spiders eat their own kind instead? [Because when you go to a school for witchcraft and wizardry, you're bound to learn a few things about spiders.]

[video]

[parasiteye]

When there's nothing tastier around sure. But who's gonna be a better meal, this tiny squirt or you? You've got way more meat on you.

[video]

[wasthemaster]

[That'd debatable, but he's not going to say that.] And just how many people have you eaten in Asgard?

[video]

[parasiteye]

Like I'm sayin' that where those stupid justice people can see it. Back home though...a couple? At least twenty. The hard part is keeping you guys alive long enough to get a decent meal cuz as soon as you die your insides start getting all thick and gooey.