asgardeventide | 01

Entry tags:

01 | Video

Hey. I’m not into public introductions, it feels like AA or something. Name’s Rudolf Ushiromiya, just got a few questions here for the rest of you.

Anyone know how exactly they decide where you go? It’s like a horoscope, right? Personalities and all that. So what’s the formula, if you want specifics, it’d be Baldr. If you don’t like how they judged you, who do you talk to about getting a switch? I don’t like the idea of somebody just assuming who I am.

Oh yeah, and what kind of jobs are up for grabs, or businesses that might be needed. This suite doesn’t really suit my tastes. …And I guess I’m gonna have to buy cigarettes.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[her first instinct is to troll really really hard - trolling any male Ushiromiya is always a worthwhile enterprise! But then she remembers that he's actually now her father-in-law, whether he may realize it or not, and that she should probably be nice.

Ahh, screw it. Trolling is more fun]

Well, now! If it isn't one of Kinzo's wayward children!

You're quite a ways away from Rokkenjima, aren't you?

[Don't do that?! Ah, wait, no, of course you would have to do it, he'll be just like Battler after all...

And upon seeing that face, he certainly does. Rather than replying for a moment, he stares, utterly confused because, well, it's clearly the Beatrice from the portrait, but hadn't Rosa just said she saw her die about twenty years ago? Then again...he's a little more apt to believe she could be a witch at this point]

Aah, and how 'bout you? I'm not there all the time, it's just like a little business trip.

[There was a human named Beatrice on Rokkenjima about 20 years ago. But whether she was a blank shell that Kinzo filled with the witch Beatrice's soul or his daughter/lover or this Beatrice's mother, the world will never know]

I've been set free from my restrictions, as you can see!

What restrictions are those? Now that you're free you're not gonna eat me, are you?

[He grins]

Actually, that might not be so bad, go right ahead.

Those of being an incorporeal spirit, of course!

My! I'm not sure! I must warn you, I do have rather large and sharp teeth!

Evidently you never took a bite out of dad, I feel safe enough.

He's a bit past his prime, isn't he? I don't like my meat to age too much, you know! I prefer them a bit fresher!

[Trololololololol]

He sure is, I'm no spring chicken but how about some nicely aged wine and cheese? Dad's the stuff you've left rotting in the fridge too long.

[oh my god, she could laugh until she cried! He's going to feel so awkward when he finds out]

Ahahahaha! Still a little too old! Try going a few decades younger!

You know George's a dweeb and Battler's just a dork, plus they're both useless virgins. A powerful witch like you at least needs a man with some experience who can please a woman, right?

[*cackle**cackle**cackle*]

Ahahahahahihihihihihi!!!

Well, he's learning just fine! For a useless virgin, anyway!

...Damn, don't tell me you're giving that brat private lessons. Where were you when I was a kid? I can't count the number of times I'd pray for the witch to show up in my bedroom.

Then I'd remember that she probably got screwed by dad and wished I could take it all back.

[she'll let him tell you, Dad. Because lulz!]

Perhaps you never offered anything that interested me!

[DAMMIT RUDOLF WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT]

[Because he's an awful man!!]

Well geez, if you're interested in Battler and dad, no doubt I've got nothing.

Perhaps I just like to skip a generation every now and then!

[oh god, that's awful]

I'm gonna have to have a talk with that boy. Please tell me you've taken pity on him and he's not still a virgin. It's getting kinda sad.

I'll let him fill you in on that.

What, are you too embarrassed to admit it? I understand, I would be too with someone like him!

Of course not! I just think it'd be better if he told you himself!

That's kinda lousy, he's not gonna want to talk to me more than he has to.

I thought parents talked to their children about this sort of thing!

You tell me! I don't know how I'm supposed to talk to that kid.

Don't humans have books and videos for that?

I'm not so bad a parent that I don't know all that 'talking to your teens' junk is bullshit. You can teach someone how to look after a baby, sure, but the boy's got too much of a mind of his own. Plus they don't factor in that he hates my guts and it's not just some phase.

I don't think that's necessarily true. He fought very hard for you and the rest of your family.

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