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[feathery]

help
im molting
well more than usual anyway
someone needs to devise a vacuum that can handle giant feathers
whats even the point of feathers longer than your forearm when youve been grounded like an insubordinate ragamuffin whos better off in oliver twist
i shouldve been plucked like a duck fit for roasting to make this shit easier on everyone but no
its like someone is twisting the now missing sword in my chest
the dumbest part is growing back feathers was way less of an issue when i was part digital and could fly
it wasnt state level let alone federal
there was no energy sucking abyss that made me snooze more than an alarm clock on a saturday morning
or a random desire to eat everything within sight like im prepping for a reenactment of a thanksgiving turkey
though i will say right here and now that if any of you left your lunch unattended it wasnt my fault
but i hope you learned your lesson
nothing is safe from the birds
theyre filthy thieves i told them to step off but my influence only goes so far
and
i mean
its just kind of hard to tell someone off for pilfering snacks that sweet
that sandwich was hella fine
the cheese was especially choice
like damn it belonged on a tabloid rack with close ups and gossip thats how suspiciously perfect it was
anyway consider this a psa
if youve ever wanted to obtain more gigantic feathers than you could stuff a pillow with this is your chance
youve just got to clean my room

Comments

[averagemedium]

...well, we both already know Henry's probably going to want them, so. If you honestly want some cleanup done, you know who to bug.

The molting thing's not uncomfortable, is it?

[feathery]

it itches but it doesnt hurt as long as no one goes yanking on anything
what would henry even do with so many feathers
dude i forget how many i have until i start losing them en masse
and then its like
wow
what a pain in my feathery ass

[annnd going private, because.]

[averagemedium]

I have no idea. Do you know how many bags of crow feathers there were in this apartment before I found projects to use them on?

I'm not questioning it too hard, honestly. They're a thing he collects, I think he'd like them, it'll get them out of your way.

[private]

[feathery]

[Davesprite is faintly bemused by this, tbh.]

did you actually count them
if you actually counted them i dont know how many bags of crow feathers there were but now inquiring minds want to know
but yeah
it looks like someone murdered a flock in my bed
im going to clog up the shower drain at this rate
which may be an exaggeration but it gets the idea across

[text]

[nukeoleptic]

maybe you are just pregnant

[text]

[feathery]

how did i know someone was going to say that
at least im not craving snausages

[text]

[nukeoleptic]

HEY

that was supposed to be a secret D:

[ffuckoff]

ok how do u feel about bagged lunches

and molting is normal right thats not like hair falling out

[feathery]

if my hair were falling out there would be way more accusations about how fucked up the gods are and i hope theyre getting a fucking laugh
though im kind of confused on when im supposed to molt in the first place here
the season changes are fucked up
also bagged lunches are great did you know people leave them unmonitored all the time
not that
i would really know anything about that

[ffuckoff]

of course not ur a bird not a raccoon. anyway ill start bringing xtra shit 2 school 4 u if u been hungry lately

when do birds molt usually? @ home most of them just die in tangled power lines

[necrowmantic]

I want them can you save all of them for me

[feathery]

wow
literally all of them?
what do you do with these feathers btw dude
i gotta know

[necrowmantic]

Can I pluck you bare Davesprite can I

And I dunno I just like them! They smell nice. It's not like my dream can come true here but that's no reason not to try.

[livedtwice]

I hope you haven't left feathers all over the shop. I haven't had a chance to look yet, which means you ought to get around to cleaning it up if you have.

Oh, and I'm awake now. If you haven't noticed that.

[feathery]

holy shit
i thought id seen bad cases of shuteye but it turned out i hadnt seen nothing yet
if anyones molted at the shop though its hedwig
i hold no accountability on that front

[livedtwice]

Are you really trying to blame feathers on my owl?

You have a lot more feathers to lose, you know.

Audio

[cyan_maid]

Oh my.

Er...I suppose it makes sense that you would molt. Given the wings and all. Can't say any of my sandwiches have gone missing.
Do you want me to bring you something to snack on? Healthy of course.

text;

[feathery]

what kind of healthy are we talking
are we talking carrot stick soccer mom healthy
or more like
a part of this balanced breakfast healthy
because i will totally vouch for the latter if anyone has got doubts about its health benefits

Text

[cyan_maid]

I can do balanced breakfast healthy if you like!
What exactly did you have in mind? :B

[Text]

[comeonthensexy]

More than usual?

[ That's ... weird. ]

[Text]

[feathery]

you know how sometimes you leave chunks of hair around and people take it as a sign youre balding but its really just from your eyebrows
well its like that
only my feathers actually grow back

[Text]

[comeonthensexy]

Not really but never mind that. Any ideas why you're molting more than usual?

[wasthemaster]

[And like most times, Draco's just cutting straight through the bullshit.]

Weird request, but can I have some of your feathers for experimentation?

[feathery]

depends
are you willing to fight henry for them

[wasthemaster]

Depends, are we fighting to the death or can I just get away with punching him a few times?