I I ♚ V I D E O ( J O I N T)

[bruxisms]

[ A video feed turns on, and all the network is greeted with the sight of one Renly and Stannis Baratheon, both looking somewhat flushed. It is clear by their surroundings that they have been drinking.

(However, perhaps the fact that Stannis Baratheon has been drinking, and with his younger brother no less, is enough to strike horror into the hearts of those that know them.) ]

And now we must raise a toast to the king, should we not, brother?

[ Renly lifts his glass - wine, compared to Stannis’ clearer scotch - and looks a little smug as he tilts it forward, eyeing the camera with far too much glee. ]

Of course, little brother.

[ Stannis laughs, bitter and mirthless. He almost knows full well that his is a horrible idea, but still… it almost feels good to finally say exactly what is on his mind regarding his king. ]

Though he may not be here, I have no doubt that he is with us in spirit this very evening. So let us all raise a glass to King Robert Baratheon, who fucked the realm into submission while his brothers dined on rats and onions.

[ And, at his side, Renly leans over and taps his glass against Stannis’, biting back his laughter. ]

Making the eight whilst children wept and poor smugglers fed the realm on his behalf. Ah, what a king we had! Such charm, charisma, courage… But, alas. Gone too soon, taken by a lion’s boar.

And what a boar that it must have been. For what man could slay dragons and krakens, and then be brought down by nothing more than a pig?

[ Stannis’ face twists as he takes another drink of his scotch. ]

Ah yes. A man who seemed able to find every hole in the realm, yet somehow was not able to find his wife’s cunt, even as he shared his bed with her night after night.

If only Cersei had been a Riverlands whore - though, if the rumours are to be believed…

[ Stannis laughs yet again. ]

...Aye, brother. A whore so self-involved, she had to fuck her own mirror image to satisfy herself.

[ It was perhaps more vulgar than he had intended, but yet again, he could hardly bring himself to care. Renly, to his credit, does little more than smile, nodding his agreement. Then, after a pause, a sip of his wine, he speaks. ]

Shall we do what she could not, then? [ He lifts his glass ] Fuck Robert Baratheon, and fuck his tainted brood.

[ Stannis joins his brother in raising his glass. ]

Fuck Cersei Lannister for leaving us directly in the path of a throne that murders all that sit upon it.

And fuck the throne itself, for all the bother it has caused us.

[ And with one final cling of their glasses, they cut the feed. ]

(( black is stannis and gold is renly.))

Comments

[video]

[bratking]

Shut your filthy, traitorous mouths or I'll have your tongues cut out!

[As if he has the power to do that here, but he certainly wants to.]

[video]

[truegood]

[ Sorry, Renly is just laughing viciously, he really can't help himself. ]

I would like to see you try, Joff! I shall simply ask Arya Stark to be my Champion!

[video]

[bruxisms]

[ Stannis snorts, yet still maintains his composure somewhat. ]

That would truly be a sight, boy. Yet only a fool would remove the tongue of a man for merely speaking the truth.

[lt_blade]

[See that icon, that's Sonya's expression as she watches the feed. Listening and watching men..or just one man, looking at Renly..drinking is never bound to end well.

On the other hand, she has heard a lot about this Iron throne from this world so many are from.

Should we just be grateful you two are putting differences aside then? [She's seen Stannis at heimdall house, and since she's met Renly she couldn't imagine two more different brothers.

[truegood]

Lady Sonya! You should be indeed - Stannis is a special sort, I assure you.

[bruxisms]

A small miracle, my lady.

[ Even with his mood somewhat lifted by spirits, Stannis still manages to be ever so reserved. At least, in comparison to his younger brother. ]

Renly is ofttimes a great fool, yet he has spoken a fair deal of sense, particularly in regards to our late elder brother.

[ Though, that might be the wine talking. ]

video

[disheartening]

[ judgmental look™ ]

This is what the Gods bring to fight their war for them. The worlds must be empty

video

[truegood]

My dear lady, you are much too terse.

video

[bruxisms]

I assume you have yet to see others from our realm, my lady.

[ Certainly, both of them look fantastic next to Joffrey. ]

Or, are you the sort that would prefer our elder brother? Fortunately, he does not grace us with his presence.

[ The rational part of him knows that he would never hear the end of this. But right at this moment, he finds himself caring little for most matters. ]

video;

[dyingisnotdead]

[Just this horrified look. Just this look entirely.]

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[truegood]

Loras!

[ Renly brightens instantly, cheeks flushing a brighter red. ]

You must join us, this wine is fantastic.

Video

[snowcrow]

[He's not sure if he wants to actually say anything, since at the moment, he somewhat agrees with it. Not that he'd be so vulgar as to repeat it over such a wide audience, but...]

Perhaps this is something best discussed between yourselves... your Grace.

[Jon Snow, who knew nothing about politics or life or... anything, but he knew better than to slander Cersei Lannister when her son and brother/lover was in the city, handless or not. He knew that, Baratheons. He also knew the pair of them would have aching heads in the morning.]

Video

[bruxisms]

Lord Commander.

[ There is a tinge of disappointment to his voice. Why do you not know him, Jon Snow? Why do you know nothing. ]

Renly and I both agreed that it was for the best that Asgard know of our elder brother's folly and his lady wife's infamy.

[ It was clearly madness, and Stannis would say as much come the morning. But for the time being, he barely cares. ]

video;

[valardohaeris]

[ have one stark representative clearly trying to keep a straight face, guys. trying being the operative word. it's always lovely seeing people be dicks to the people she hates. ]

I thought we were supposed to be trying to get along.

[ she says, as though she's made even the slightest bit of effort and not gone out of her way to antagonise joffrey whenever she can. no, arya is the perfect role model for the shaky truce the westerosi have been clinging too.

video;

[bruxisms]

[ Gods be good, the girl who replied looked to be his daughter's age. It is almost enough to snap him briefly into sobriety.

The key word being "almost". ]

Be that as it may, Robert and the Lannister woman are hardly here, are they not.

[ And another look at the screen as he examines the girl. ]

You have the look of a Stark about you. The younger one, correct? The one who defeated Joffrey in single combat?

[ Stannis might have seen Renly recount the tale in one place or another. And now the poor girl was set to wed Ramsay Snow. ]

text;

[infomodder]

[So what if Joffrey kicked his dog, he's thirteen. Thirteen. Will had problems at thirteen, too, even if he'd never kick a dog. And the kid's telling him he's got uncles who want to kill him and only one good one and what in the hell is this. This is both worse than a forum on Tattlecrime.com and a two-man buffet of rudeness. What is with all the language, even? He can't start in on "wow you guys are adults and you just talk about some woman being a whore that's really nice that's so mature" not just yet. So what else is there?]

Are you really brothers I didn't quite catch if you were or not

[Dudes look nothing alike. Genetics is easier than rhyming.

Somehow.]

text;

[bruxisms]

[ Joffrey killed a pregnant cat to get the kittens inside her, Will. He is so far gone, that he deserves none of your sympathy. ]

Isntt itobcvious we both have black hair abd bule eys.

[ ...Well. Hopefully the man can make enough sense of that.

But honestly. They are both tall with black hair and blue eyes. Is it not obvious they are related.

...And Stannis might be so far gone that he cannot quite tell if that is a joke or not. ]

text;

[emgoldened]

[Yeah, really. Fuck Robert Baratheon and Joffrey and whatever else came slithering out of Cersei. He hates them both, naturally, but any chance to rag on Cersei is welcome, even if it's for historically inaccurate reasons. Still!!!!]

Cersei Lannister could never be a whore. Whores get paid. No one would pay her with all that wealth in her family.

Tainting the throne would be very unwise for any who wanted to be called king. Talking about it in such a crass manner is unbecoming, and telling of what kind of kings you'd make.

[Fucking the throne literally, he's heard stories. Also it's made of swords. That's a bad idea, even to a crazy bastard-not-really-a-bastard like Viserys.

So what if they're using foul language, it's the shit about the throne that is really the offensive thing here.]

text; -> voice

[bruxisms]

Tell bes something Vijceys

Visccje

Visectoaspo

[ You know what? He is just going to give up on that text for the time being and instead use his voice. Thankfully, he is not nearly as worked up by this comment as he is by Jaime's. ]

Tell me something, Viserys Targaryen. Do you think that when Aegon the Conqueror made his throne that he intended for a man to sit easily on it? Do you remember that our great great grandfather, Maekar Targaryen was said to view the throne as a punishment for slaying his elder brother, Baelor Breakspear?

[ a sigh. ]

Any man that truly desires it is mad. Aegon knew that well, and you would do well to learn it.

[wontbeforgotten]

[Okay yeah. Kara is laughing. But she does catch the basics, from her conversations with Loras and Arya the previous time she was here. She isn't about to lecture them on the language. She's pretty bad with swearing and drinking herself so that would be hypocritical of her.]

Sounds like you two are enjoying yourselves? Do I want to ask about Cersei?

[bruxisms]

[ In a normal situation, Stannis might feel somewhat uncomfortable at the notion of a woman laughing at him. But, this is hardly a normal situation, so instead he speaks plainly (or as plainly as one might while drunk). ]

I do not know if I would call it enjoyment, my lady, but my younger brother has been surprisingly tolerable this evening.

[ a pause ]

Cersei Lannister was our good-sister, though truth be told, Robert might very well have been better served by the dead woman he was first betrothed to.

[ Gods be good, his life would be full of regret come the morning. ]

text;

[uncledaddy]

[ He's furious. Robert -- well, spoken truly, and the miserable brute can rot for it -- but Cersei, now.

Spoken honest as well, but it sparks at his temper all the same. Lanel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know. He wants to spit and snarl a response, for all he knows it ill. They've all come to arrangement here; did he not tell Stannis to do as he would? To speak freely?

Jaime didn't imagine the man doing so publicly. It takes him far too long to write the message, an absent fist clenching into air. ]

Ah, the Baratheon way; smash a path to the throne and they bemoan its bother. How kingly, to blame a widow for your reckless stake in war.

Tell me, did she also weave black magic? Did she spill the blood from one of your pretty little throats? Was it that woman and mother who walked in the shadow of a knife?

My sister is many things; she has never been the cause of your idiots' ambitions.

text --> voice (also cw: for way too much cursing)

[bruxisms]

[ Ah, he should have expected such a response from the Kingslayer. But, despite his great skill with a sword, the man missed his mark by leagues when it came to the truth. ]

If you belibe

Nolibvne

Bleive...

[ Ah, but he cannot quite type given the state he is in, now can he? No, unfortunately he has to respond by voice, and his voice betrays far more fury and emotion than Stannis Baratheon has ever mustered before. ]

If you believe that I ever had any desire for that seven-damned throne, it is more than apparent where Joffrey's 'intelligence' comes from. I would have died a content man, never hearing any more of nightfires than my lady wife's ranting if your slut of a sister could have only given my brother but one trueborn son.

[ Once again, far more vulgar and honest than he would have liked, particularly in regards to the Kingslayer. But it had been some eleven years since he was last drunk, and even then, it had hardly been to this point. ]

Fuck you, Ser Kingslayer. Fuck you and your whore of a sister.

video;

[freewoman]

[Her tone is mocking, eyes raised in a most judging ways. This is what best her people?]

And y'call yourselves kings? This is why I don't bend the knee. [Still denying you, Stannis.]

video;

[bruxisms]

[ No, this is not what bested her people. This was the result of two men, one "curse", and a few poor life decisions. ]

Are you deaf, woman? We were toasting our elder brother.

( not here )

[exiling]

[ can't really argue that robert baratheon wasn't the worst

you two are pretty embarrassing tho ]

( also not here )

[bruxisms]

[ But how will he know to message you in the morning, attempting to explain his poor life choices. ]

video;

[motherofwinter]

[ She holds no love for Cersei Lannister, even Robert Baratheon holds a sour place in her heart for taking Ned away from her, for being such a fool that he could not see what was happening around him. And yet, she can hear Ned's voice in her head, telling her that they should not speak ill of him.]

It is unbecoming of both of you to speak ill of your dead brother. [ catelyn stark, scolding everyone since 264AL ]

video;

[bruxisms]

Lady Stark.

[ Truth be told, this was hardly something meant for this woman's ears. But still... ]

Is there not much about Robert to speak ill of? It is his fault that the realm bleeds as it does. His and the Lannister woman.

[Video]

[companioning]

[And while for the most part Inara tries not to pass judgement so quickly, these two? They seem to be drinking themselves into some sort of trouble she's sure is not needed in the city.

She sighs and shakes her head a little. Men and alcohol. Truly.]

While I'm sure your... grievances are well justified, perhaps while here it would be best to set them aside?

[Video]

[truegood]

And that is what we are doing, dear lady. Airing them so they might flutter away into the night, not to be heard from again.

[video]

[snowstormed]

--you fellas really are drunk, aren't you. [It's not even a question. Apparently alcohol screws everybody up no matter which world they come from, who knew.] Somebody's got to cut the both of you off, before you end up singing, I dunno, something like Star Spangled Man.

[It's not going to be Bucky.]

What's all the fuss about this throne, anyway?

[video]

[truegood]

I do not know why the stars might be spangled, but, alas, there will be no songs tonight.

[ A shrug. ]

It is a throne, the kingship, is that not fuss enough? My brother held it until he was carefully murdered by his lady wife and his supposed son took the throne. The son that was the bastard child of said lovely wife and her brother. That, friend, is the fuss.

video.

[grimmig]

This is better than Eastenders. Really. You should get an agent. "The Only Way Is Camelot On Steroids" could be the next big thing.

video.

[herrin]

My thoughts exactly.

[ you can't fake this much amusement. ]

They're better than the Holmes' boys.

video;

[neverbedded]

How [ what is the right word here] bold of you to make such views public.

[ How these two got into this situation is beyond her. She's just thankful she's never gotten this drunk, as both men have clearly lost their wits entirely. ]

video;

[bruxisms]

Merely correct, Margaery Tyrell. All men and women should know what a fool that Robert Baratheon truly was.

[ Come the morn, he might very well feel the need to apologize to her as well. ]

video (possible CW for implied child abuse)

[fire_punk]

Ew. But at least she wasn't fucking her kids. Or his. [This Cersei sounds way too much like his own stepmother.]

video

[bruxisms]

There is hardly an "at least", here. Her children are abominations, the lot of them.

[ For one day, Tommen Baratheon might very well be another monster in the making. ]