5th Memory [Text]

[in_loveless_memory]

[He doesn't want to talk to anyone. He doesn't want to see anyone at the moment either. His brother is gone, his other best friend is gone... Soubi is gone. While he knows he'll see Youji again when he gets home... however long... But Soubi and Seimei? He doesn't know. Like so much in his life, he doesn't know if he'll see them again.]

How often do people return after they leave? Is there... some sort of rate of possibility?

[Because if he can have it in numbers, have it in some sort of concrete fact, he can rationalize it better. He can handle the possibility of percentage about seeing his brother again. At home he has no idea when he might see Seimei again, but here, here couldn't there just be something... concrete?

He knew there wasn't. He knew that it was as unpredictable as anything else.

He was just in denial, it was something he was good at.]

Comments

[samantha_grey]

The little I gained I only gained by giving what I thought was control up, as stupid as that sounds.

[in_loveless_memory]

Are you suggesting I have all the control then?

[samantha_grey]

Maybe. It depends... on so many things I can't say. I don't think you need to be worrying about it right now.

[in_loveless_memory]

It always depends. Something... is always contingent on something else.

Then what should I worry about, Sam-san? What would you recommend I care about? I'm sort of tired of caring.

[samantha_grey]

Don't. Find a diversion. Find someone still here you care about and hug them until the tears are done. Get drunk. Get laid. Stop thinking about it while it's so raw it's killing you. Escapism isn't always bad.

[in_loveless_memory]

I don't have anyone like that. [Not here, not someone he can break down in front of.]

[samantha_grey]

Funny. It looks like a couple people are trying to ask. Are they maybe thinking they're closer than they are?

[in_loveless_memory]

You're here, Sam-san, would you consider us particularly close?

[samantha_grey]

No. I'm pretty sure you kind of hate my guts for having fun at your expense. [She gave him an unapologetic smirk across the video feed.] But you have a way of getting stuck in situations that are... familiar is all.

[in_loveless_memory]

So then what makes you think everyone else responding is someone I'd do that with?

[Oh look, his walls.]

[samantha_grey]

I don't know. But, if one of them is, it could be good. Drinking alone gets old.

[in_loveless_memory]

I don't drink. I don't do any of the things you suggested. Maybe you should just stop trying to pretend you know shit about me.

[samantha_grey]

[She didn't look upset and just shrugged.] Maybe. I've given my advice. You do what you have to.

[She cut the feed. She wasn't going to pretend she knew, but the pain and loss of control? Those were things she remembered. She also remembered that sometimes, she just didn't want to talk about them. Better to leave him be.]