28 - Video

[samantha_grey]

[Once again, almost like always, Samantha's latest post is from the inside of an alchemy lab. Sometimes, it's a wonder she gets out at all. There's boiling beakers everywhere and she's holding up a cheap looking cardboard, red heart.]

Right, so, for those of you who saw my earlier post to the network, Pinch of Sage has been working on some special product. At the tail end of winter where I come from, there's a holiday that, as far as I'm concerned is one of the dumbest holidays on the planet. However, it's also the sort of thing people like to do to destress and to have a good time. The holiday's called Valentine's Day, and if you want a lecture on stupid historical crap, just ask. I'll give you an earful.

Short version is that it's a holiday for lovers, and I know there's a few of you who've been hooking up as you're watching the end of the world looming on the horizon. You won't hear me judge you for that. [She's got no room to judge. None at all.] Completely commercialized bullshit if you ask me, but whatever. Some people just don't want to be alone in a firefight.

(OOC: Minor CW - Mention of a Magical Aphrodisiac for sale ahead, and of other questionable chemicals like Roofies.)
Anyway, we already carry a variety of things that might help the experience, and some oils and salves for those of you crazy enough to try cross-species pairings. Sometimes those can cause a few problems, the more different their biologies are, and you want to be careful if there's a big difference just in case. Any questions, give me a call. I've been keeping track as best I could about the different species we have here, and why there might be an issue.

[ahem] Anyway, I came up with the insane idea of trying to make something actually magical. This [She holds up a small vial of something pink] Is Aengus' Kiss. It's named after the god of love I actually worship. It is not a love potion. Don't ask. Already tried. My hair was white for a day. Love potions don't work. This is a magical aphrodisiac. It will enhance your sense of touch and give you a boost of energy, just the sort of thing to ... well, you know. Make things a little more intense. So, since the winter's getting a little less cold, I figured we'd start selling the stuff, but there's a couple conditions.

One, this stuff doesn't work if they don't know they're taking it. The results are bad, and this thing doesn't work as a roofie [Besides, she sells those too.] You do not want to try and spike someone's shit with this, and you do not want to be you if I find out. I will wreck you. Also, I'm only selling two doses at a time, no more. Take too much, and this crap's poisonous, and we have to purge your damned system, and I cut you off for good from all potions. Got it? I'm easy-going about what you use these potions and poisons for, but I've got limits in even my patience.

Two, you have to be old enough to actually have sex or I'm not selling it. No, this isn't some "I'm carding you" moment. There's literally hundreds of different worlds with different rules, and I'm not keeping track of yours for you. Hell, a chunk of you aren't even human, so I don't know when you start to peak that way. I'm not going to ask, but don't come in here for it if it isn't something your body should be taking in yet.

Besides that, we have all our usual stock, so come on by if you're crazy like that.

Comments

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[familyissues]

Sam, you make it all sound so romantic.

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[samantha_grey]

Hah. Bullshit. I make it sound analytical, like I'm describing some dry, stale act. I know I'm bad at this. No way I'm making Sophie announce these things, though.

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[familyissues]

[ Desmond laughs. ]

It's not that bad. How much is this stuff going for?

Also do you have a product list up anywhere, or do I have to get up off my lazy butt and come in?

[Private Text]

[liquidsky]

I should really try to get to know this city better, I didn't even know about your shop.

So, aphrodisiac. How much do you plan on selling it for?

[Private Text]

[samantha_grey]

[It was fortunate for Barty that Samantha had yet to make the association of him to Voldemort, given that she was pointedly on Ellie's side of things. Still, she was suspicious of someone messaging about this privately.]

There's really no need for secrecy here. The damned thing won't work on someone as a poison if you slip it into their drink. It'll just piss them the hell off and get your ass beaten. Just like I warned. No need to be embarrassed about this sort of thing. It's no different than buying a pack of condoms.

Anyway, it runs for [OOC: insert generic price here. It's lower-range on the cost of her potions, and I've been meaning to get a price-range up for those who use vouchers. Give me another week.].

[Private Text]

[liquidsky]

[One of the many, many reasons Barty is so careful about his face and name and where it can be seen is said association with Voldemort, so there was need for secrecy. Not one he wanted her to realize, though.]

Oh, I don't embarrass easily. Just if I did buy it, it would be as a surprise for someone special. I'd inform said someone before using it, of course, but I'd not want it to be known days in advance.

I should stop by your shop, I'd like to see what else you can make with the things found here.

[Video]

[granddevil]

[ an aphrodisiac?

Satan smiles ]

It fits you. [ creating that sort of potion ]

[Video]

[samantha_grey]

This? [She swirled a sample.] Not as much as you'd think, but who better to sell something like this than a half sex-demon?

[Video]

[granddevil]

Exactly. I doubt you, yourself, needs it.

[Video]

[5thchild]

An holiday for lovers? What is the point? [ why is there an holiday for that? ]

[Video]

[samantha_grey]

Selling chocolates. ...and magical aphrodesiacs.

[Video]

[5thchild]

So they made the holiday simply to sell things?

video;

[necrowmantic]

[Hey guess what it's your favorite person, Sam.]

I'll take a lecture on historical stuff! There's violence, right? History's usually full of that.

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[samantha_grey]

[Oh joy! See this face? This is her joyful face.]

St. Valentine was a Christian martyr, but I couldn't tell you how they died. Probably arena with lions. But it's less bloody than you'd think. Lots of talk about card companies and choclatiers.

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[necrowmantic]

[Have the usual friendly smile in return.]

Eaten by lions, huh? That must be a pretty amazing way to go! Have you ever seen someone's face chewed off by a cat? Nya ha! --But how do you go from that to chocolate? Why isn't it a 'feed someone to cats' day?

( VIDEO )

[unchain]

An aphrodisiac? I've read about those once before. You can make them out of a number of herbs & plants.

[a beat.]

But I've also read that the effects of aphrodisiacs may just be caused by the belief of the users rather than the substance itself.

( VIDEO )

[samantha_grey]

[Elizabeth was officially one of the last people she expected to contact her about aphrodisiacs. It showed in her face as she stuttered and took a second.

Compose, Samantha...]

Well, this is magic, so it's a little better than cayenne or ginger. It's meant to make your nerves more sensitive, so every touch is more intense... And, well... there's a few things I have over the counter that do actually work, but those aren't herbal.

audio

[fantastix]

Smart business move.

I completely share your opinion on the actual day, though.

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[samantha_grey]

I've never been a fan of Christian holidays that took over pagan gods and then got sold out to corporate greed, even if I'm participating in the greed part for the fun of it. But, yeah, I'm sort of hoping it's appropriate. I mean, I know a few people have been getting together ever since before I got here. No point not offering it.

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[runtothesunlight]

[Wow, he approves of cautionary measures, but...]

What happens to those who drink it unknowingly?

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[samantha_grey]

The body rejects it. The subject who drank it was only aware we were testing placebos and an unnamed potion and agreed to it. Had to be certain of a few things after the whole Night Oil creation fiasco. They felt intolerably sensitive for a short time, violently ill but still able to function more or less normally, other than getting rid of it, and they knew something was horribly wrong.

Basically? Fairies like pranks, and any herb that uses their magic works fine for pranks, but if you're doing something actually cruel or mean with it, the magic will come back on you with a vengeance any way it can.

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[standsonhigh]

Is this the kind of alchemy you mentioned before? If so... I'm definitely liking the potential.

[He can't help but smirk because hey, it sounds like it could be fun. And guess who prayed for potion vouchers.]

Are there any side effects? I mean, what does happen if you take it without realising or someone spikes your drink with it? [He pauses slightly.] Not that I intend to, of course, it's hardly romantic to roofie your date.

Re: video

[samantha_grey]

It is. [She nodded, remembering the Master from before.] There's a fair bit of potential. It does things that most chemicals can't quite do.

As I said to someone else, if someone tries to force you to take it without knowing, you reject it forcibly, feel violently ill for a short time though you're pretty much able to react and feel intolerably sensitive. You know something's horribly wrong, so it pretty much tips the spiker's hand. Basically, the herbs I get from fairy territory don't like being used to actually hurt someone. Pranks at most.

And... that's [deadpan here] putting it mildly.

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[lookingfordragon]

Another one? Wasn't there are a holiday not long ago.

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[samantha_grey]

Heh, as long as there's a profit to be made, there's going to be a holiday somewhere. You get used to it.