asgardeventide | 28

[Once again, almost like always, Samantha's latest post is from the inside of an alchemy lab. Sometimes, it's a wonder she gets out at all. There's boiling beakers everywhere and she's holding up a cheap looking cardboard, red heart.]

Right, so, for those of you who saw my earlier post to the network, Pinch of Sage has been working on some special product. At the tail end of winter where I come from, there's a holiday that, as far as I'm concerned is one of the dumbest holidays on the planet. However, it's also the sort of thing people like to do to destress and to have a good time. The holiday's called Valentine's Day, and if you want a lecture on stupid historical crap, just ask. I'll give you an earful.

Short version is that it's a holiday for lovers, and I know there's a few of you who've been hooking up as you're watching the end of the world looming on the horizon. You won't hear me judge you for that. [She's got no room to judge. None at all.] Completely commercialized bullshit if you ask me, but whatever. Some people just don't want to be alone in a firefight.

(OOC: Minor CW - Mention of a Magical Aphrodisiac for sale ahead, and of other questionable chemicals like Roofies.)
Anyway, we already carry a variety of things that might help the experience, and some oils and salves for those of you crazy enough to try cross-species pairings. Sometimes those can cause a few problems, the more different their biologies are, and you want to be careful if there's a big difference just in case. Any questions, give me a call. I've been keeping track as best I could about the different species we have here, and why there might be an issue.

[ahem] Anyway, I came up with the insane idea of trying to make something actually magical. This [She holds up a small vial of something pink] Is Aengus' Kiss. It's named after the god of love I actually worship. It is not a love potion. Don't ask. Already tried. My hair was white for a day. Love potions don't work. This is a magical aphrodisiac. It will enhance your sense of touch and give you a boost of energy, just the sort of thing to ... well, you know. Make things a little more intense. So, since the winter's getting a little less cold, I figured we'd start selling the stuff, but there's a couple conditions.

One, this stuff doesn't work if they don't know they're taking it. The results are bad, and this thing doesn't work as a roofie [Besides, she sells those too.] You do not want to try and spike someone's shit with this, and you do not want to be you if I find out. I will wreck you. Also, I'm only selling two doses at a time, no more. Take too much, and this crap's poisonous, and we have to purge your damned system, and I cut you off for good from all potions. Got it? I'm easy-going about what you use these potions and poisons for, but I've got limits in even my patience.

Two, you have to be old enough to actually have sex or I'm not selling it. No, this isn't some "I'm carding you" moment. There's literally hundreds of different worlds with different rules, and I'm not keeping track of yours for you. Hell, a chunk of you aren't even human, so I don't know when you start to peak that way. I'm not going to ask, but don't come in here for it if it isn't something your body should be taking in yet.

Besides that, we have all our usual stock, so come on by if you're crazy like that.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Sam, you make it all sound so romantic.

Hah. Bullshit. I make it sound analytical, like I'm describing some dry, stale act. I know I'm bad at this. No way I'm making Sophie announce these things, though.

I should really try to get to know this city better, I didn't even know about your shop.

So, aphrodisiac. How much do you plan on selling it for?

[It was fortunate for Barty that Samantha had yet to make the association of him to Voldemort, given that she was pointedly on Ellie's side of things. Still, she was suspicious of someone messaging about this privately.]

There's really no need for secrecy here. The damned thing won't work on someone as a poison if you slip it into their drink. It'll just piss them the hell off and get your ass beaten. Just like I warned. No need to be embarrassed about this sort of thing. It's no different than buying a pack of condoms.

Anyway, it runs for [OOC: insert generic price here. It's lower-range on the cost of her potions, and I've been meaning to get a price-range up for those who use vouchers. Give me another week.].

[One of the many, many reasons Barty is so careful about his face and name and where it can be seen is said association with Voldemort, so there was need for secrecy. Not one he wanted her to realize, though.]

Oh, I don't embarrass easily. Just if I did buy it, it would be as a surprise for someone special. I'd inform said someone before using it, of course, but I'd not want it to be known days in advance.

I should stop by your shop, I'd like to see what else you can make with the things found here.

[She definitely had a selection of poisons if he actually planned something unpleasant for people. Those were more effective.]

Fair enough. I suppose a romantic surprise is something at the very least. Just be warned about this stuff. It uses the magic of the fairies here, and they're really testy about any sort of negative use. It's like karma coming back to bite you in the ass, one way or another. If you think you can get around it, it's always worse.

Either way, we're over in Loki. Easy enough to find. It's in sight of the hospital in Sigyn.

[Now that he knows that potions are a possibility, he'd be more likely to look into it himself, especially for poison he actually plans on using. Although the thought of a lustful Snape has a certain entertainment factor, albeit disturbing at the same time.]

That sounds like the stories of faeries I'm familiar with. Did you strike a deal with them or something to that effect?

Sorry, just curious about how any of this works. Especially if I'm considering making use of it.

No deals. It's simply the herbs that they use that create the effect. I think the effects are latent in the plants themselves, which is why they can't be avoided.

And don't worry about it.

[ Desmond laughs. ]

It's not that bad. How much is this stuff going for?

Also do you have a product list up anywhere, or do I have to get up off my lazy butt and come in?

[She inserts a generic price into the feed. It's on the lower end of potion prices (OOC: Which I will be updating for people using vouchers here in the next week or so).]

It's actually pretty reasonable as these things go. And yes, there's a list up at the shop with all the current prices. I'll send you something anyway.

Not to say you can't drag your lazy butt in as is.

Interesting, I'll definitely stop by your place. Not sure yet if it's worth the risk to actually buy what you're advertising here, but I'll probably find something else.

[ an aphrodisiac?

Satan smiles ]

It fits you. [ creating that sort of potion ]

An holiday for lovers? What is the point? [ why is there an holiday for that? ]

This? [She swirled a sample.] Not as much as you'd think, but who better to sell something like this than a half sex-demon?

Selling chocolates. ...and magical aphrodesiacs.

There's plenty here, and if you find you need something else, try Draco Malfoy and Euri's place over at Asclepus.

[Hey guess what it's your favorite person, Sam.]

I'll take a lecture on historical stuff! There's violence, right? History's usually full of that.

[Oh joy! See this face? This is her joyful face.]

St. Valentine was a Christian martyr, but I couldn't tell you how they died. Probably arena with lions. But it's less bloody than you'd think. Lots of talk about card companies and choclatiers.

An aphrodisiac? I've read about those once before. You can make them out of a number of herbs & plants.

[a beat.]

But I've also read that the effects of aphrodisiacs may just be caused by the belief of the users rather than the substance itself.

[Elizabeth was officially one of the last people she expected to contact her about aphrodisiacs. It showed in her face as she stuttered and took a second.

Compose, Samantha...]

Well, this is magic, so it's a little better than cayenne or ginger. It's meant to make your nerves more sensitive, so every touch is more intense... And, well... there's a few things I have over the counter that do actually work, but those aren't herbal.

[Have the usual friendly smile in return.]

Eaten by lions, huh? That must be a pretty amazing way to go! Have you ever seen someone's face chewed off by a cat? Nya ha! --But how do you go from that to chocolate? Why isn't it a 'feed someone to cats' day?

... no, I can't say that I have. And that's actually the weird part of the story. Valentine, as far as I know, was barely linked to courtly love. I looked it up a long time ago just because a lot of Christian holidays irritated me, but there was so little known about him at all.

There was a writer, though, a very famous one named Chaucer, and her started linking Valentine to romantic love in his stories. So, I think that's how people started thinking of it that way.

[Wait for it. She's getting to the chocolate.]

Huh... why's a holiday irritating? But there seem to be a whole bunch celebrated here that I've never heard of. Back home there was the occasional human sacrifice, and I guess you could have a party with it, but that was about it.

And why'd he do that? Pick some guy at random? And why'd people listen?

[At least he's not asking about death?]

I'm not Christian, and they absorbed a lot of my religion's festivals in the process of forcing them to convert. As to why? There might have been some old myths about romance. I'm not sure. Chaucer was hard to read, but mom insisted.

It all grew from there in the last century or so when someone got the brilliant idea that it would be a great night for lovers to get together, so a tradition of gift-giving started, and they began incorporating the gods of love of the old pagan religions, especially Cupid.

I guess that would make someone a bit testy! I mean, if you believe in stuff like gods.

But hey, at least the deities you like are getting brought back! Though it's weird to need an excuse to get together with someone. Is this where the chocolate comes in?

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