asgardeventide | 001

Hello citizens of Asgard. Or whatever you consider yourself. Interesting thought actually, do you get citizenship when kidnapped and forced to live here or are we in an entirely different category? Forced tourist perhaps? Unwilling immigrant? Something like that.

[He clicks his tongue as he carefully contemplates how to word what he wants to word next. He already knows certain people have their eyes on him so he best play nice. And carefully censor himself from others]

Anyway, we should probably start with introductions. I'm Harold Saxon, you can call me Harry. [He waves playfully to the video, keeping his tone light.] And I'm exceptionally bored. Who wants to amuse me?

[Filters from the Who cast just because.]

I've been here for a few months now, give or take, and from what I gather this place is very big on the whole magic thing. Powers, ruins and all that jazz seems to take centre stage. Am I right? But I have a question, if you'll humour me, does anyone else prefer the sciences and technology still? I get that magic runs smoother and yeah, the powers aren't a bad addition, but you can't argue with the wonders of technology. [You can, actually, but you shouldn't. Cause you'd be wrong.]

Which leads me to my next question, has anyone got anything here that's in dire need of fixing or tuning up? Basically, I could use some pocket money so if anyone wants anything fixed or even made, within reason, I'm very interested. Trading is also welcomed too, I'm sure I can make a good offer. I usually do.

[Insert amazingly bright politician style smile here. He doesn't care what he can get his hands on, he just seriously wants to see what people have and what potential there is to exploit. Maybe convince some people to share.]

On an unrelated matter, do politicians even exist in an Asgardian society? Just curious. Vikings hardly seemed the sort to promote law, order, diplomacy and sociological ideals. I only ask because outside of sciences, that's my only other skill and I'm trying to find a job that won't bore me to death. No offence, of course, I could just never stand menial drudgery.

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[Look, he doesn't exactly have much of a nice space to stay at and ultimately they enjoy each other's company, so Barty is about three feet away from the Master as he makes his announcement. He is, however, reading, which might contribute to the Master's boredom.]

I prefer real magic.

[Just saying.]

[At least pretend to be interest, Barty! He's talking to his public, giving them the razzle-dazzle... and you're ignoring him in favour of some book. Rude.]

I know what you prefer, you've made it very clear.

[He says in the tone of a man who'd really fed up of hearing magic being championed.]

M-hm.

[Sulk more.]

I am learning about all your techwhatsit and science, so don't be that way.

Does it really matter if you're a citizen or not? What perks do they have that we visitors don't?

[Sarah Jane was curious, really. She fathom why it would matter given everyone she's met so far was from somewhere somewhen else.]

I don't have anything that needs fixing, but I do have something that I would appreciate you taking a look at.

Whatever school you went to has an appalling state of education. How could you go through school and not understand science, technology and maths.

[How do people get jobs without that?]

I'm shocked you can function in the real world.

My world is infused with magic. I understand maths and science well enough, but the laws it obeys where I'm from don't apply here, because an important factor is taken out.

I'm picking up on it.

Magic has it's uses, when it's not so retrograde like the one that exists in this world. [ really, drawing runes? That's so first century.] I am much more fond of technology, though.

[ destructive technology ]

Not much. You just get the official tile, a sense of belonging, official documents. All handy things to have.

[He shrugs casually.] Its nice having a home, don't you agree?

Oh, really? Do share.

Magic has it's appeals but it just lacks the charm of making and building your own devices.

[Destructive technology is always the best.]

[Owen holds up a remarkably 90s brick of a cellphone.]

I received this a while ago-it's my cellphone from home. Unfortunately, all it can do here is play the game installed on it. I know that Asgard has no phone lines, and I don't know what level of technology existed in your world, Mr. Saxon, but if you wouldn't mind looking at it, I would greatly appreciate it.

Well, read on your own time. If you're in my house, you pay attention to me.

[Yes, he's not even dancing around that fact. He moves closer, standing in front of him for full attention.]

I'll read it aloud to you, if you want?

[Barty lowers the book to glance up at the Master with raised eyebrows. Is he really doing this? Yes, of course he's really doing this.

He sighs and sits up, raising one hand to the Master's hip and looking up at him.]

I do like your voice.

[The Master just stares. He knows he said anything but ... well, no, why would anyone have one of those still? He supposes suggesting this guy bins it isn't very helpful.]

What kind of things do you want me to do? Because without a phone network, there's little I can do. If I had better tech, I might of been able to whip you up some sort of network but as it stands, I can at least get you try and add some improvements.

Your assessment about vikings is actually incorrect and based upon fallacious information. [It's the type of information that Sherlock has seen before, to be certain, but it's not true. He knows as much.]

And I do believe this war would be more effectively fought with technology, but that doesn't seem to be the gods' weapon of choice. It may be to keep the technology out of the hands of the enemies. [After all, that's been a practice for thousands of years.]

[Of course he's doing this, he's lonely. And you're an awful friend, ignore him like that when he's clearly always starved for attention.

Smirking, he looks down and resists the urge to pat Barty's head like the good dog he was. But, apparently, that was rude and condescending.]

It is an amazing voice. Glad we agree.

In all fairness and honesty, I don't think I love it quite as much as you do. Love for the ages, that.

[Good call. Condescension tends to get him in a very bad mood indeed.]

So. How much for tuning me up?

[Cheeky smile, that.]

[This is cutting tech for 1996, gosh Master.]

I'd enjoy improvements. Personally, I don't know that much about modifying technology, so anything you could do would be appreciated.

Actually, it's based on experience, not information. Admittedly limited experience but they hardly seemed the brightest lot nor that invested in the idea of a government. I hardly stuck around.

[But then, he wouldn't. The Master considers most humans dumb and unintelligent so his assessment of the vikings he met? Probably riddled with biased. A giant biased, actually.]

See, that's why you make it impossible for others to use what you own. Isomorphic controls are a life saver in a war situation, they lock onto the desired user and reject anyone else attempting to make use. All my weapons used to have that and I never ran into any issues.

[It's a super fugly piece of crap. Oh humans, they tried so hard in their early days. Like a kid trying to write their name for the first time.]

I can set up an analogue signal? Maybe play around with the screen definition a bit. But I'd really have to see it first.

When shall I bring it over?

Well, they say you can't truly love till you learn to love yourself.

[And boy does he ever love himself.]

For you? It's free this once but any retuning is gonna cost you.

That must be why our romance is so ill-fated.

Returning, hm? My, how much tuning up do you reckon I need?

[So. Harold... well, they hadn't exactly traded names when they met the last time. Interesting.]

Magic and science are two sides of the same coin. The same rules of the world are obeyed. It's more a matter of approach. The approaches tend to be very different, but that doesn't mean that they're not working with the same 'things.'

And, as for politics, they died after the gray I think. Most of the people coming back were born gray, so rebuilding governments has been slow. I've never bothered to be a citizen anywhere, so it's not something I've looked for, as long as the peace is kept.

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