1ST JEER [text]

[deudly]

HEY.
HEY.
THE FUCK IS THIS? THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOUSES. AND GODS. AND OTHER BORING BULLSHIT. WHO CARES?
THAT BITCH PRATTLED ON. FOR SO LONG. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. OF BOREDOM. SO I STOPPED LISTENING AFTER A WHILE.
HEY. HEY.
HEY!!
I WANT ANSWERS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T KEEP DOING THIS. UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM TO ME. GUY BEHIND THE COMPUTER.
NOT THAT THIS IS A COMPUTER. IT'S MORE LIKE A SHITTY BRACELET.
BUT WHO CARES I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE.
I AM HOLDING YOU AT RANSOM. UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME. I WILL KEEP THIS UP UNTIL YOU DO.
ALSO. BEFORE I FORGET. WHERE ARE MY GIANT OGRES?
I SWEAR IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY OGRES. I WILL KILL YOU.
......
CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MAROON-STRIPE HAT BACK?
I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT HIM AND I MISS HIM ALREADY.
WHAT A PAL.
HE LET ME RIDE ON HIS SHOULDER. AND PUNCHED SOME WEIRD HUMAN SO HARD. HE RIPPED A HOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.
IT WAS GREAT.
MAROON-STRIPE? WHERE ARE YOU??
DAMMIT SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!!
I AM NOT SHUTTING UP UNTIL YOU DO.

[Don't tempt him, he is more than willing to be the biggest petulant brat in all of the universes until he gets his way.]

[ooc: An opt out post if anyone decides that they really REALLY don't want me to tag them with Caliborn. It won't get better from here folks.]

Comments

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

gots otter plans for em before that [ that may or may not involve killing you. ]

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

AS PAWNS?
I SAW YOU. KIDNAPPING ROXY ONE TIME.
TRYING TO GET HER TO HELP YOU.
THEY WON'T WORK FOR YOU.
IF THEY HATE ME. THEY PROBABLY CAN'T STAND YOU.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

roxy humans a bitch
but yo alls swimmin accordin to plan
i wont give you spoilas you gotta wait and sea
but you wont be sorry guppy

now
otter question
besides mashellf what otter trolls ya know

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

DON'T WORRY.
I ALREADY STOPPED CARING.

[He has planets to blow up and puppet men to collect, he hasn't even been watching the monitors since that shit went down.]

ONLY THE ONES I READ ABOUT.
I DON'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.
THEY'RE ALL PRETTY FUCKING SHITTY.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

[ no, you didn't stop caring. You just haven't begun ]

dirk n roxy humans r here

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

OH.
THAT'S COOL. I GUESS.
ARE YOU GOING TO START TELLING ME USEFUL SHIT?

[Not that he isn't excited at the thought to jeer the idiots again, but he was kind of busy doing ACTUAL stuff before being sent here. That annoyance takes over his happiness.]

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

you gotta ask da question ma man thers a lot i know

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

I AM NOT YOUR MAN.
OK. HERE IS MY QUESTION.
WHAT KIND OF SHITTY POWER IS STRENGTH?
STRENGTH ISN'T A POWER.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

cuz when ya get here no matta how strong yo ass is
it aint no moor
so now ya gots ta be stronga than otter mofos around

ma question
know sum plaice called alternia

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

NO.
WHAT POWER DO YOU HAVE?

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

regeneration

da blue mothafucka yo leprechaun punched the fuck out
how was he like

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

WHAT A LAME FUCKING POWER.

HE WAS JUST SOME HUMAN. WHO MADE WEIRD FACES AT ME.
SO I MADE WEIRD FACES BACK.
AND THEN. BEFORE WE COULD EXCHANGE "PLEASANTRIES". AS THEY CALL IT.
HE GOT PUNCHED.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

shit yo you gonna have top complain to the glubbin gods or watervs

ahaha fuck

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

TOO BAD YOU CAN'T MIND CONTROL PEOPLE.
THAT WAS PRETTY FUCKING HILARIOUS.
AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY. WITH MY OWN PLANS.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

already gonna fuck shit up
watchya gonna do

[ besides trying to murder your sister or whatever. ]

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

FIGHT A WAR.
AND LEAVE.

[No way he's staying here forever. If he has to fight a war to get out, then so be it.]

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

yo so is evermoby round here doin

[ she expected something bigger than that, seriously ]

[PRIVATE]

[deudly]

YEAH WELL. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. BEFORE COMING HERE.
I WOULD LIKE TO GET BACK TO IT. PRONTO.
SO IF I HAVE TO FIGHT. SOME STUPID FUCKING WAR. SO BE IT.

[PRIVATE]

[bowdown]

n the greenie ya lookin fo
waterboat her