asgardeventide | [1st arson

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[1st arson | video]

[That's a very ill-tempered expression this new arrival is wearing. He's got a zippo lighter in one hand, and he glares down at the dancing flame for a moment before looking back up at the camera.]

You know what's bullshit, Asgard?

[He holds his hand over the flame just long enough to leave an ugly welt, then shows his palm to the camera; although the process is slow, the blistered red skin is visibly starting to heal.]

This, right here, is bullshit. I'm not Logan. Who the hell would want to be Logan. My name is Pyro, because I manipulate fire. I don't care who these "gods" are, or what they want, or why they did it - you don't mess with a mutant's ability. Give me back what's rightfully mine, what I was born with, and maybe there won't be any trouble.

[Totally unaware that he's just made the least original first post ever, he ends his side of the feed and waits for responses.]

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No, it was definitely bullshit. We had something like that happen in my world too apparently. It was absolute bullshit when I was in the middle of it. A real pain in my ass, but no. I'm not surprised in the slightest.

It's why I was raised the hell away from everyone. Demons don't usually get a good rap with most church-going folk.

[She did, however, chuckle.]

Termite? You've been talking to Kaz, I see. Yeah, there's a few trolls around here. They're easy to pick out of a crowd. Some, more than others.

Demon? That's a new one on me. [Now he's almost conversational, verging on curious.] A real fire and brimstone, straight from hell demon? Or are we talking about something else?

No, it was a mouthy chick called Euri. You mean these trolls are for real?

[Feed kicks into video. There actually does seem to be a potion brewing in a blown glass apparatus next to her. It's got a sort of clear yellowish color. The horns and eyes are fairly visible, along with the one claw she snakes out.]

Half. Daddy was a very bad boy that I don't like talking about very much, but the brimstone's about right, so try not to wrinkle your nose if you get too close. Fire's on the list of stuff I used to make, but my magic was normally cold or illusions.

...Euri... Kaz, same difference. She's attached to his hip some days anyway. But yeah, the trolls are real. Gray skin, yellow horns, different colored blood, a bit more bug than they are people. Most of them have a real temper on them. I'm kind of seeing one of them actually, well, if you could call beating the snot out of that idiot when he gets uppity 'seeing someone.'

[She chuckled. Troll romance was weird.]

[He cocks his head, taking it all in.]

Not the most dramatic I've seen. You could pass with a good disguise, if you're really that intent on hiding forever.

Cold and illusions, huh? [Something dark passes over his features.] Just like a couple of my favourite people.

[The mood passes, though, and soon enough he's laughing quietly to himself.]

Demons, witches and trolls. Shit. And humans thought they had trouble with us. Sounds like you've found yourself a real keeper.

No point hiding here. I got outed about two weeks in because of some really stupid shit I'm not going into with a stranger, no offense. But, yeah. Tail gets shoved into pants, put on a hat, wear some strong cologne and make sure not to let the little cat claws out. It's easier than you'd think, or actually I'm betting you understand that pretty well.

Oh, Eridan's a real winner. You two will get along famously. He loves cocky little bastards. Trust me. [Yeah, the sarcasm's just oozing from her every word.] That reminds me. He's been quiet. I need to go beat the little gill-brained wand chucker again soon.

I'm not one for hiding. [He cocks his chin upward, eyes blazing.] Never have been. People can put up with it, accept it, or find out just how dangerous mutants can be.

I really don't need to know all the kinky details. [Nose wrinkling.] But you'll have another fight on your hands pretty quick if you keep mouthing me off.

Please. If I was seriously mouthing you off, you'd know. This is just talk. I've met your type, though. There were a bunch of them in the War. I get why you'd have a chip on your shoulder about it.

[As she's talking, she does seem to have toned the snark in her voice down a little. She's paying attention to him, but it's clear she's multitasking, crushing something up in a mortar and pestle.]

I'm not one for a pointless fight, though, so don't mind the sarcasm. It comes naturally to me. Just a heads up, though. There's a lot of dangerous people here, and not everyone around here's trustworthy or on the same side. Don't let your guard down.

The same side? I thought you said there wasn't a power conflict here. Or is refusing to sit back and live the good life in this glorified prison considered taking a different side?

Everyone's got an angle. We always have an angle. Some people openly oppose the gods and won't fight. Some fight alongside them with reservations. Some folks are looking out for themselves. And, from the fighting a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure there's at least one who threw their lot in with the other side. Haven't figured out who it is yet, though.

On the surface, it all looks like one pissed-off but begrudgingly happy family, fighting the giants to save their asses. Never, ever trust the surface.

Wait. There's giants now, too?

God. Ok, yeah I'll walk you through this. Welcome to Asgard. I'm sure the faceless maid told you all about our rainbow brite mission to bring all the magical sparkly colors back to the rainbow to stem the tide of ragnarok that will destroy all worlds.

I'm just as sure that made no damned sense. It makes no sense to anyone who comes here that thinks about it for five seconds. You got kidnapped by things that call themselves the gods of Asgard. There's Gods and there's Giants, and they don't like each other. You're tied to Baldr and he's a God, and since you're tied to him, the Giants don't like you either. So basically there's a war going on, and you missed what was supposed to be the big battle.

Good news everybody! We almost lost and one of the gods blew himself up to put everyone basically at square one again.

[She poured the ground up powder, a quarter at a time, into the yellow solution, stirring it as she spoke.]

Ok, so how much of that made sense? Ask the first question that comes to mind.

[...]

This place is a giant clusterfuck.

[She chuckled and nodded.]

You're already ahead of the game if you think that.

How can you laugh about it? You're stuck in the middle of it!

[... but yeah, he's kind of laughing too. Because for the moment, with the loss of his pyrokinesis on the backburner, this is so insane it is pretty hilarious.]

I'd fucking laugh at my own execution.

[She snickered, a throaty and sort of off-kilter sounding growl coming from her throat in the process.]

It wouldn't do any good after all, so why not laugh at the futility of it? It's damned hilarious sometimes if you ask me. Like a twisted, tragic comedy that's only funny because it's so badly acted.

And there's where you and I are different. I wouldn't be standing at an execution in the first place, because I don't give up. There's always a way to fight back.

[The barbs are mostly gone from his voice, though. She's interesting, at least.]

Heh. Anyone ever tell you that you take things too seriously?

[Hello, Pot, this is Kettle. You appear to be of an ebon hue.]

I'm willing to bet that you took this pretty seriously when you first got here. I know how to have a good time when I'm not being fucked with on this high a level.

Yeah, yeah. It was an epic shouting match actually. I think I was threatening the lives of a bunch of people over it. Just don't forget to laugh while you're trying to claim whatever victory it is you're going for.

Oh trust me, I'll be laughing when I get my fire back.

[As this entire city burns to the ground.]

You might look into investing in a chemistry book first for that one. You're not likely to get control back.

Yeah, right, I know. It'll make me explode. I've already heard that one.

Eh? Oh, that. Never actually saw that happen. I meant switching houses actually. Pity Asshole number One didn't pick you. You would've liked that at least. Instead, you got the brat from hell.

Right, one of the other houses offers fire control, right? Or a seriously watered-down version of it, I'm sure. Well, if it comes down to that, I'll have a chat with Asshole Number One.

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