audio;

[extradite]

[ As painfully unnecessary feeds go, please appreciate this one for having 254.6(6)% more muttering, fumbling and awkward pauses than your average sheepish interlude. ]

...sorry. Sorry about everything that's been happening. The losses. The... inconvenience. Sorry about all that.

[ It appears he is growing a spine for the next part - ]

And sorry, but - what's a good job for someone who... can't do anything?

[ ...and that the spine has now entered evolutionary recession. Muffled rambling mode: engaged. ]

Not fix things, not tell jokes, not do your physics homework, not herd cattle, not... be a... witch, not really punch, not carry the groceries without ruining the eggs, not... nothing. Nothing at all.

[ Sigh. ]

What's a good job for someone like that? And where could they get it? Along with about forty-two mops. Thank you.

Comments

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

You can do anything you set your mind to.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ] 1/2

[extradite]

There's more to these things than wishful thinking.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

Kaji's staying. You can visit.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

There is. For you to do something, you need to try, act, react, learn, grow, change.

[ kaworu won't visit, sorry Shinji. ]

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

It doesn't matter, does it? It's what needs doing, so it's what will happen.



[ Way to walk out on your not-child, Kaworu. ]

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

It matters to you.

[ Wasn't Kaworu the child? Kaworu believes his presence makes Shinji feel worse, so he will back off. ]

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

Does it...

I thought, if I tell myself that often enough, I'll persuade myself it does. That's the same, isn't it? By the end.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

Did you believe you could pilot the Eva? Did you believe you could survive against an Angel? Did you believe you could make Ayanami Rei smile? [ did you believe you could kill Kaworu? Did you believe you could be the Key to instrumentality? Did you believe you'd masturbate to Asuka's comatose body? ]

At the time, you also couldn't do anything. But then, you did.



What do you want, Ikari Shinji?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

[ No. No. No. No. No. We don't talk about that. ]


To have an answer to that question, so people stop asking it.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

[ he would go on a philosophical conversation, but- ] I hope you will find it soon.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

...I'll think about it.

How are you holding?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

I'm well.

How are you? [ you never did tell him if you got hurt, Shinji ]

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

Honestly? Honestly, tired.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

Why? [ of what? ]

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

I don't get used to war. Every time it happens, it's tiring. I'm tired.

Sorry. I know you've been through the same thing. I don't mean to complain.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

You don't need to apologize. I will listen to you, whenever you need anything, including something like this.

I don't see it as complaining.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

I know. That's why you're the only one I'm telling.

You've been making friends, haven't you?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

Do you wish to talk about it?

Shouldn't I?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

There's nothing more to say. I'm tired. I'll be tired.

It's good to make friends. I'm *relieved*.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

But there are ways to make yourself feel better.

I didn't ask for his friendship, but Allen insisted anyway.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

What did that feel like?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

I felt Happy.

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[extradite]

Didn't it inconvenience you that someone was pushing their feelings on you?

[ ᴛᴇxᴛ ]

[5thchild]

I'm sorry I inconvenienced you.

1/2

[extradite]

[ A lengthy pause before this message, because he's tired again.

Really, really tired of making this person apologize. ]