OO1; ( VIDEO ) backdated to early noon 146

[sloths]

[ Having a good day today, Asgard? Well, it doesn't really matter if your answer to that is a 'Yes' or a 'No' because if you like the distant sound of couples arguing in the morning...

Okay you're actually out of luck because all that's going on is a debate. Something to do with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and... psychostimulants?

But now we'll have the feed clicking on to reveal this new beautiful girl with long black hair that some people might have already spoken to a little. Newer still is the messy-haired young man reading idly nearby and looking - not unhappy in his corner of the screen, but certainly like he'd be happier in a warm bed somewhere. ]

Oh, Oreki-san! It looks like it's running now!

Not a chan—

Good day, everyone! Since we are both newcomers here, I just thought it might be a good idea to introduce ourselves to everyone! My name is Chitanda Eru, currently a member of House Freya. It's nice to meet everyone!

[ She'll lean forward to turn the feed towards her companion... Only to find his face closer than ever to the book and decidedly not facing the camera. --Which naturally prompts her to give the young man beside her a nudge. ] Come on, Oreki-san, it's your turn!

[ Can't you just leave me alone?

... forget it he's going to be a champion and zero in on the vagueness of those instructions. ]

Oreki Houtarou. Or-e-ki—

Oreki-san.

[ And she chides him much like a mother would her misbehaving son... The misbehaving son, then, volleys back with the most put-upon sigh. ]

Currently a member of House Odin. Please be gentle. [ he commits okay ]

Looks like we'll have to cut that out later, Oreki-san. [ She laughs a little at the end of that. Unfortunately (or maybe not?), it looks like neither of them realize that this is a live recording... ] That being said, we are in your care! If we may be of help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Oi, Chitanda! Don't make decisions like that on your own! What is it you expect to be helping with anyway? We're still high school students. [ Come to think of it: inter-dimensional city aside, isn't the offer itself a little broad!? ]

Oreki-san, everyone's in this together. It's precisely because we're high school students that we should help others if they are in need! Otherwise, who would help us if we ever needed it?

[ Only you would wind up in a situation needing everyone's help. ]

In any case, thank you for your time, everyone. [ It was at this point that she would be reaching forward for the feed source, only to pause and lean back again when she seems to have been reminded of something.]

Oh, if anyone has any mysteries or problems you would like solved, we would like to hear about them! While a little lazy, Oreki-san here is quite brilliant at deduction in his own right. If you have heard or met Sherlock Holmes-san, both Oreki-san and I are both big fans of--

[ Excuse Oreki-san while he throws himself across the table in whatever the sluggish equivalent of a dive jump is and shuts off the bracelet thanks. ]

Comments

[integrous]

Then you're not objecting enough! [ asahi, who are you to decide this for others. at least she seems energetic enough about it.. ]

If you're a real man, then you should be telling her to cut it out already if you don't want this!

soft sobbing

[sloths]

[ his thoughts exactly thank you i did not even need to write an italics tag ]

Since when do they teach girls about how to be real men?

cry against my manly chest

[integrous]

[ i will tsukkomi for you, don't worry about it ]

Ever since most guys can't live up to being real men anymore nowadays, that's when!

[sloths]

I see.

Ah, in that case, if there are none left, who exactly is the one deciding which men are real and which fail to live up?

[integrous]

Me.

[ saying it quickly, as if it's just an objective unchangeable fact.. ]

[sloths]

Denied.

[ matching that tone exactly ]

[integrous]

Why do you think you suddenly get to decide?!

[ have some extra volume coming out of the device-- asahi is .. quite loud, in case that wasn't obvious yet. ]

yolo harasses your postvak

[sloths]

You can't live up.

[ OOH BURN ]

get out of the postvak holly

[integrous]

[ .. this guy. Seriously, this guy-- there's only been one other guy who annoyed her this much in Asgard and she went to go punch that one.. beware, Houtarou. ]

You think you're all that, don't you?!

aaah you noticed....

[sloths]

[ His opinion of himself is so off I can't write a proper analogy for it.

But for the trouble of indignation, Houtarou blinks once and turns slightly away to rest his head on folded arms, quickly and easily deflating back to baseline apathy. ]

Not really.

jelle-senpai has finally noticed you

[integrous]

[ She draws in a sharp breath, as if she's about to yell again, but--

... That's not the response she expected. She can't exactly yell about that anymore, right? Darnit, even messing up his plans when he's giving a more moderate answer. Fine, fine, then just keep it to scolding.. ]

Then at least be a little less rude! [ pot, kettle, nice to meet you. ]

[sloths]

[ This time it's a sigh for sure. Even if his ] A little less, huh... [ still scores high in the monotone department.

She doesn't seem like the kind who accepts consolation prizes. ]

What's your name again?

[integrous]

It's Asahi, Asahi Yu--

.. Wait, I didn't even tell you my name yet, so there's no 'again' about it! [ apparently she just grabs every chance possible to scold him as long as she's still remotely worked up. ]

[sloths]

[ another sigh wow. ligher still than the last!

He raises a hand in "salute". ]

Yes, ma'am.

[integrous]

And you're Oreki, right? I could figure out that much from your subpar introduction! [ yes, she's just going to call him by his last name.. without honorifics.. screw da police ]

(1/2)

[sloths]

[ Am I supposed to applaud?

But he's not exactly crazy for honorifics himself so that's a plus. ]

[sloths]

[ Calling her by her first name is a little much... But this is one thing Houtarou DOES know how to solve. ]

Good to meet you, Yu-tan.

1 / 3

[integrous]

[ .. huh, that actually was slightly.. ]

2 / 3

[integrous]

[ p.. olite...

WAIT.

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. ]

[integrous]

What kind of nickname is that right off the bat?! 'Yu-tan', don't even kid me..!

[ her face is pretty red though by now. ]

[sloths]

Nickname? [ his surprise. it's - it's so genuine can you FEEL THAT??? ] Asahi Yu wasn't it?

[integrous]

Asahi Yuki, Yuki! Don't lie to me and pretend you didn't fully hear it! [ no, seriously, lying is like her violence trigger.. be careful, houtarou.. ]

Besides, most people would make a nickname out of someone's first name, not their last!

[sloths]

[ Wait who's lying? ]

I didn't hear it. You cut yourself off. [ reaching for his paperback again ] It's all I had.

[ And, in any case, it worked: she told him the rest. So his guilt is a pretty level 0% here... ]

[integrous]

Wait, I did..?!

[ short term memory is not something she excels at the more she gets worked up, watch her furiously try to recall the conversation..

And then she realises he's right. And that, in turn, only makes her more butthurt annoyed, apparently. ]

.. Shut up.

1/2

[sloths]

[ Her special attack is hypocrisy!?! ]