OO1; ( VIDEO ) backdated to early noon 146

[sloths]

[ Having a good day today, Asgard? Well, it doesn't really matter if your answer to that is a 'Yes' or a 'No' because if you like the distant sound of couples arguing in the morning...

Okay you're actually out of luck because all that's going on is a debate. Something to do with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and... psychostimulants?

But now we'll have the feed clicking on to reveal this new beautiful girl with long black hair that some people might have already spoken to a little. Newer still is the messy-haired young man reading idly nearby and looking - not unhappy in his corner of the screen, but certainly like he'd be happier in a warm bed somewhere. ]

Oh, Oreki-san! It looks like it's running now!

Not a chan—

Good day, everyone! Since we are both newcomers here, I just thought it might be a good idea to introduce ourselves to everyone! My name is Chitanda Eru, currently a member of House Freya. It's nice to meet everyone!

[ She'll lean forward to turn the feed towards her companion... Only to find his face closer than ever to the book and decidedly not facing the camera. --Which naturally prompts her to give the young man beside her a nudge. ] Come on, Oreki-san, it's your turn!

[ Can't you just leave me alone?

... forget it he's going to be a champion and zero in on the vagueness of those instructions. ]

Oreki Houtarou. Or-e-ki—

Oreki-san.

[ And she chides him much like a mother would her misbehaving son... The misbehaving son, then, volleys back with the most put-upon sigh. ]

Currently a member of House Odin. Please be gentle. [ he commits okay ]

Looks like we'll have to cut that out later, Oreki-san. [ She laughs a little at the end of that. Unfortunately (or maybe not?), it looks like neither of them realize that this is a live recording... ] That being said, we are in your care! If we may be of help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Oi, Chitanda! Don't make decisions like that on your own! What is it you expect to be helping with anyway? We're still high school students. [ Come to think of it: inter-dimensional city aside, isn't the offer itself a little broad!? ]

Oreki-san, everyone's in this together. It's precisely because we're high school students that we should help others if they are in need! Otherwise, who would help us if we ever needed it?

[ Only you would wind up in a situation needing everyone's help. ]

In any case, thank you for your time, everyone. [ It was at this point that she would be reaching forward for the feed source, only to pause and lean back again when she seems to have been reminded of something.]

Oh, if anyone has any mysteries or problems you would like solved, we would like to hear about them! While a little lazy, Oreki-san here is quite brilliant at deduction in his own right. If you have heard or met Sherlock Holmes-san, both Oreki-san and I are both big fans of--

[ Excuse Oreki-san while he throws himself across the table in whatever the sluggish equivalent of a dive jump is and shuts off the bracelet thanks. ]

Comments

[integrous]

Asahi Yuki, Yuki! Don't lie to me and pretend you didn't fully hear it! [ no, seriously, lying is like her violence trigger.. be careful, houtarou.. ]

Besides, most people would make a nickname out of someone's first name, not their last!

[sloths]

[ Wait who's lying? ]

I didn't hear it. You cut yourself off. [ reaching for his paperback again ] It's all I had.

[ And, in any case, it worked: she told him the rest. So his guilt is a pretty level 0% here... ]

[integrous]

Wait, I did..?!

[ short term memory is not something she excels at the more she gets worked up, watch her furiously try to recall the conversation..

And then she realises he's right. And that, in turn, only makes her more butthurt annoyed, apparently. ]

.. Shut up.

1/2

[sloths]

[ Her special attack is hypocrisy!?! ]

[sloths]

[ oh dou demo ii ]

Yeah, yeah. My bad.

[integrous]

[ By now she's honestly not sure if he's annoying or surprisingly agreeable.. probably somewhere inbetween that combines those two qualities, as weird as that is. ]

.. So, you and that girl, what kind of relationship do you have? [ ASAHI YOU DON'T JUST RANDOMLY ASK THAT.

It's not even that she ~suspects~ anything, it's just that she has to make sure cute girls aren't bothered by bum guys, okay.. ]

[sloths]

[ It's not ACTUALLY to be expected when even Satoshi and Mayaka haven't made any overt implications along those lines, but given Chitanda's leanings toward frivolity...

He sighs. ]

Her name is Chitanda. We're classmates.

She's president of our Classics Club back home.

[integrous]

And you aren't teaching her anything weird, right?

[ okay, no, she honestly means that one as in 'you're not being a bad influence on cute girls RIGHT' but.. ]

[sloths]

Weird?

[ pls pls everyone in his life is a bad influence on HIM ]

[integrous]

I know guys like you! [ mostly since he reminds her of toru, hence where half of her anti-him sentiment comes from already.. ]

You have around cute girls, and then you slowly try to corrupt them with your bad influence! Don't make her cry, got it?!

1/2

[sloths]

[ I'd worry more about Shino if I were you. ]

[sloths]

[ The next is an easy, appropriately effortless recitation: ]

"If I don't have to do it, I won't. If I do, I make it quick."

1 / 2

[integrous]

[ ...... ]

[integrous]

Wrong answer! [ she slams her fist against the palm of her other hand. ]

The right answer is 'I would never make a girl cry under any circumstances'!

[sloths]

[ He withdraws some but thankfully has the grace not to totally flinch ]

Are girls allowed to make us cry?

[integrous]

You're not saying you'd cry that easily, right? [ in other words, yes, she would feel bad if she made someone cry regardless of gender.. ]

[sloths]

[ trying to imagine chitanda making hi--

yup. doable. ]

I think you're overestimating me.

[integrous]

[ at this she narrows her eyes, leaning closer to the image.. this is where she would get all up into his personal space but since she can't this is the next best solution. ]

For some reason I can't even imagine a guy like you crying.

[sloths]

Doesn't everyone cry at a certain level of pain? [ He has no idea if this is legit (it sounds like it could be at least) but there always seem to be tears when someone breaks an arm. ]

It's probably unavoidable.

[integrous]

That's a theory that still has to be tested!

[ at least she's not saying 'tested out on you' or something like that, feel lucky.. ]

1/3

[sloths]

[ Definitely not! ]

[sloths]

[ wait who is he talking to ]

[sloths]

[ In any case, this girl isn't exactly someone to be underestimated. ]

So has every other theory people rely on.

[integrous]

No way, there's theories that are definitely true no matter what! Like.. [ she has to think for a moment, she's not the brightest around and she doesn't want to lose this, so.. ] Like gravity! It's not like you can drop something and it'll ever fall up, right?

[sloths]

[ She's female. She's going to beat Houtarou by default. ]

Wrong.