thgreed: (Default)
the once-ler. ([personal profile] thgreed) wrote in [community profile] asgardeventide2012-09-04 10:39 pm

$1, VIDEO.

[ The feed today is brought to you by Thneedy Industries, Inc. Needless to say, by the Once-ler himself, free o' charge.

Basically there's this 6'4 skinny guy in a really crazy suit, looking at the camera with the most serious and intimidating-as-he-can-manage face. He's standing in front of a few trees in Gefion Park, tapping his green-gloved hand on the screen, as if making sure it's on.
]

Hi.

[ A moment of silence before he continues. ] So. I've been examining my situation here, and well... [ He gives a small sigh, shutting his eyes briefly. ] It's not pretty -- just like these trees.

[ He motions to the bark and the leaves, all which appear less grey than usual. ] Not soft, not soft enough... [ Ignore the mumbling. ] Alright, two things.

First -- I need to know where I can find a... [ How to phrase this.. ] weapon? No, not anything dangerous enough to hurt someone, because I'm not planning on hurting anyone. Just something rudimentary, like an, uh, axe. [ Please don't let anyone catch on. ] Yeah, that's it.

Second -- has anyone seen a really short guy here? He's orange. And furry. Not to mention annoying. Chances are he's not here, and that's fine. I'd actually like you all to point him in my opposite direction -- should you see him, that is -- but it's more than likely that none of you will bother. [ He rubs the area above his mouth, raising his eyebrows at no one in particular. ]

In fact, I can pretty much see everyone here doing quite the opposite. [ He blows air at his bangs. ] Yikes.

Anyway, one last thing -- can whoever's seeing this answer a really important question for me? Are you.. real?

[ The feed sits there for a minute or two, before the Once-ler realizes to turn it off. Wait, that was three things, wasn't it...? ]
caw: (the crow with the sword)

[voice]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
What's wrong with orange guys?

[The text might give him away on this one, so voice it is.]
caw: (cute and fluffy)

[voice]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
And in my experience-- which I'll tell you now is goddamn extensive-- brunettes with baby blues are goofball neanderthals with bad taste in just about everything. Not that I'm making any pronouncements here.
caw: (what in the absolute fuck??)

[voice][1/2]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
caw: (youre fuckin kidding me here)

[video][2/2]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
[And the video function is turned on.]

Can't.

[One wing is all halved and shit.]
caw: (lets get a little lower now)

[video]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
Pssht, nah. All my sprite powers got nuked when I showed up here, anyway.

[And moving on without explanation:]

Seein' as I'm not your orange problem, who exactly were you talking about?
caw: (well thats not how i thought itd go)

[video]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Nice to be recognized as human (mostly) at least.

But wait. Did he just say--





...]


Nope. And yep to your other thing. I'm nothing but real.

[video]

[personal profile] trinitylimit 2012-09-05 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Of course I'm real. Aren't you?
caw: (i got your back bro)

[video]

[personal profile] caw 2012-09-05 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Davesprite shakes the bracelet, which makes the whole video momentarily blur.]

Huh. Looks good to me.
sebasher: (Causes don't pay.)

anon text; wow, i'm sorry. his trolling of holmes is an ongoing thing.

[personal profile] sebasher 2012-09-05 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
You may, in fact, be describing one Sherlock Holmes.

I'm not so certain he's orange, though. Poor hygiene may have that effect.

[video]

[personal profile] trinitylimit 2012-09-05 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
[He makes a face. Ugh, adults.]

You're new, right?

[video]

[personal profile] trinitylimit 2012-09-05 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Don't worry, it happens to a lot of people. Know where you're staying?
adventurous: (pic#4589627)

video;

[personal profile] adventurous 2012-09-05 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ sorry dude. she's just gonna snort a little at the suit + not-so-intimidating look combo. but once she's done with that, she flashes her usual friendly smile. ]

Not sure where you can get a weapon... but yeah. I'm real.

You must be new. [ literally doing this. ]

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