asgardeventide | quatre: she-nanigans

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quatre: she-nanigans

[What you see today is a fair maiden wrapped up and looking irritated. Ah, she's new! you must be thinking. After all, new faces appearing on the network looking grumpy are normal in Asgard. It comes with being snatched and told to make things 'colorful'. The room however is a bit familiar-- and the French accent is horribly thick, which is discovered after she has adjusted the camera well enough to not just shoot them ample planes. If you get my drift.]

I do not know where I should be starting... For once I am what some would call pleasantly speechless.

[She laughs, but it's not quite humored. This feels very wrong, Asgard. Very wrong indeed.]

Well, non. I am not completely speechless, though my thoughts are hardly pleasant. I am not meant to be a woman! I am meant to adore and admire them but be beside them. The entirety of my existence has been in the body of a man, though, as you can clearly see, only my mind seems to be ah. Correct.

Regardez-moi! I ...jiggle. I am France; I am not meant to jiggle!

[France is sincerely second-guessing the idea of sleeping in the nude. It was not a good wake up call. ]

(ooc: I'll be using the journal sanscoq to thread out for the remainder of the month. Then I'll be nice and make him less ...robust.)

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[Stop talking like that that is indecent. And Sweden's face might scrunch up even more than normal while his ears gain in temperature very quickly.

At least France is dressed. Probably. It isn't fully visible, and who knows with this kid... man... woman... uh.]

B'nd them.

[France had the decency to wrap up his...her assets in a sheet before switching on the camera which is something considering a few past romps with a recorder in his past. At the appearance of Sweden, France seems to be a little conflicted. He can feel your judging eyes sir!]

That sounds very unpleasant though I suppose--

[Looking down with a frown-- and France has never thought he would look upon breasts and be disappointed or disturbed, but here we are.]

[It might be a good thing that Sweden doesn't tend to be aesthetically attracted to people, male or female, otherwise he might feel more than tons of second-hand-embarrassement at the view.]

'd move less. [Move he can use. "jiggling" just... is too plastic a word.]

[France is attracted to a lot of things and would feel second-hand embarrassment if he wasn't too busy feeling it firsthand. Brow furrowing at the response, the newly lady sighed, shoulders slumping. Can you tell this has thrown off France's usual bravado? Ergh.]

It seems hypocritical in a sense. I have never been one to forbid the feminine spirit... Even if I am only feminine in form. [Fidgeting because this is not how he wanted to wake up. Just no.] I need help, Sweden. I cannot stay like this.

[He was half-asleep. He almost didn't open his eyes as soon as he heard a message come in. Almost. It would have been better if he had caught those extra five seconds of beauty rest, really, if it had saved him the sight of her breasts. Of course, the definition of 'better' is up for debate. At the very least, it would be far less stressful.

Austria is not one to scream, generally speaking. But he might have, if this were in person. Luckily, it's only on camera. So all you get is an awkward flinching sound, half-shuddered, half-sobbed.]

What the -- What the Hell did they do to you!?

Th-there's no need to describe all of that in graphic detail. [A pause to fume a bit.] You know, if the gods thought you'd be better as a lady then maybe they're trying to send you a hint to mind your manners.

[That wasn't sexist at all. Nope.]

They are breasts, Autriche. Surely you are aware of them in graphic detail with your wife! Honestly, it is just like you to accuse a man of deserving his fate no matter the situation.

[Punishment by being turned into a hot lady. This is Hell.]

Francis!? [You are hot and he doesn't know what to say at first before settling on something.]

Don't worry you'll turn back soon enough. You'll just have to get use to being like that for a little while. I do have a few questions for you.

[He look at those boobs for a moment thinking they look so soft... FOCUS BITTY you're friend is upset.]You can probably just tie your shirt in a way so they don't jiggle as much for now.

... Knowledge of the human body is different than exploitation, and that goes both for your handling of your ... situation -- and for your mentioning of something that is none of your business. She has absolutely nothing to do with my point.

[He sighs. He's calming down... slightly. More exasperated than anything, now.] Never mind, it's fine... silly of me to assume the mind would change along with the body; you really always have been a trollop at heart...

[Excuse him. He's offended. Slightly.]

A trollop? What kind of gentleman are you to call a distressed fellow names?

Cad. Whatever.

[Because that's supposed to make everything better.

After a moment he just looks helpless.]

I don't think there's anything I can do to help. Are you the same height? Just -- clothing-wise; don't want you to be frolicking around in the nude.

[France looks slightly happier to see Aladdin-- who isn't accusing him of being indecent. There's a slight smile on the man's decidedly ...unmanly face.]

Aladdin, ami... I will? [No, he is relieved, really...] Ah, bien. Very good. I do not have clothing to fit this form unfortunately.

[But think of all the tips you'll get at work!]

What questions do you have? I do not know if I will be able to answer, but I can try non?

[He'd say "ask England", but a. this is France and b. England is not here anymore.]

Ask Nor.

[Norway doesn't do magic like England does, but he at least knows how to dabble with the supernatural and also is good at talking sense into people ~~by hitting them over the head~~.]

I hardly have frolicked. [That's not the point and he...she looks away and rubs at her face with an agitated sound. Yes, you are seeing him frustrated. Wrapping the blanket more securely, France stands with a little wobble; muttering something about balance and fuck]

I do not seem noticeably shorter...non- [sitting back down with a rather unlady like huff] My clothing will not fit right though.

[He knows. He has the man's weapons he made. This is an unpleasant distraction from that unpleasantness he was facing. France makes a face and then straightens]

Norway? I have hardly seen that man crack a smile but I may faint when he laughs at me.

Yes, but to prevent-- you know what I mean.

[He sighs, unsure if he should be even saying this.] E-Elizaveta's clothing might fit you, if you're shorter.

[Clearly this will end well.]

[Can you decipher the "Clearly" from the look France is giving you right now. Just going to let the offer hang in the static for a moment or two.]

She would skin me, Autriche. You know how she is with me!

Not that... [Pinching her brow; just blah] Not that the offer is not appreciated. We both know how that will end though.

[And if she's not still in Asgard once they're home he's sure karma will have her threatening his skin. There is no winning.]

...I'll. I'll ask her.

...Your overcoat doesn't even fit? Did you have it with you?

[Buttons. Oh, get rid of those images of buttons not buttoning. Because I mean if they don't fit in an overcoat, goddamn]

[Even if Aladdin is a bit of a perv he'd never call a girl names just because of their showing their boobs. Breasts are things to be look upon with awe and joy. Not belittle. ]

I would just be temporary until you found something better. Oh I know! Just a sec.
[He runs off for a minute when he comes back. He's done his hair like Fem Francis and in a little dress thing.. He's tied a clean blanket around himself. He had tied the upper area with this turban and put in two apples to represent breasts. Special skill used mimic!] Why not try something like this!

I was going just going to ask if you know the person you've turned into?

[lightly:] I have not tried yet, but it was rather fitted to begin with.

[You can make whatever assumptions you wish. France will, however, leave it up to your imagination just how plentiful the land is within these borders.]

I will figure something out. It is not as if I have never been in a situation before.

I had not imagined France would be quite so attractive.

[Not that he really thinks this is the country. More that this woman (or not, as the case might be) has a slightly unusual name.]

[Aladdin's departure made the blonde raise a brow, but his reappearance ended up in the Frenchman laughing, covering his mouth quickly.]

What a pretty girl you are! [shaking his head, he calmed a bit though he looks amused] Oh Aladdin, you did not have to do that for me. Merci.

Ah. No, I do not know anyone that looks like this. I can only assume this is what I would look like as a woman. I do not know if I should be flattered or not.

[The compliment warrants a flush-- and it happens before France can catch it and he quickly dismisses it as some physiological response because please, he's been complimented before. Hotness.]

I could hardly imagine France to be a tangled shrew in any means.

[Proud nation is proud. Still, there's a quiet sort of grin on this one's face.]

You have caught me at an unfortunate time, monsieur.

You're my friend Francis, I don't want you to be sad. [He smiles sweetly.]

Then the cursed just changed your gender, that's new one. You should be flattered you're really pretty.

Listen, Francis [Yes, her brain hadn't yet adjusted to the notion of France being a person. She'd misheard... intentionally.], there's a guy named Loki around here. Actually, strike that. There's Four Lokis around here. God help me. Four fucking horse-loving Lokis. A few more, and we'll have a damned revue going.

They're all tricksters, every last one. And, my memory's getting a little less fuzzy, but they're the sort who think dropping mountains on peoples' heads is funny. So, making you ... jiggle, as you so eloquently put it, is right up their alley. Take it up with them.

You might want to invest in a bra in the meantime, Francesca.

I never claimed it would be.

[His amusement fades somewhat as he has to think about what it was France was saying in the original recording. Though everything seems strange to him here, it is still a difficult concept for him.]

So it would seem. You say you aren't meant to be a woman?

[Which is what she (he? he's not really sure what the correct terms are here) has already said, but he needs the confirmation.]

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quatre: she-nanigans

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YOU DO WANT. Asshole.

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brain breaking though

BT

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sobbing

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It's going to get worse.

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...why are you so cute

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Because natural wanted it that way.

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