005 //video - You are tearing me apart, Asgard.

[timesnewroman]

[The feed flickers on and--hey, look, it's Mary Campbell. I mean, it looks like Mary, but can we really be so sure on a day like this? Clearly not, because this person is sporting a very unMary-like expression: that same distressed expression that Rory William often wears.

Yeah, it's Rory. And you may catch him looking down and getting briefly distracted by this body's chest. I'm sorry. He's a nice guy, but he's a guy all the same.]

Oh. [Yeah, pal. Nice job getting caught there. You can be flustered now.] Uh...Mary...? I think we might possibly have just a small problem?

[He begins to wring his hands, but immediately stops. It's not his body. He's not going to chance giving Mary arthritis, nope. So instead, he just sits there, awkwardly staring at the camera.]

I've been through a lot of things. Wibbly-wobbly things, I think the Doctor would call them if he were here. And honestly, I am really surprised that this isn't one that's happened before.

Uh, it's Rory by the way. I imagine Mary looks like me if you're trying to find her. Like I normally do, I mean. I'm normally a bloke.

Comments

[video]

[swedge]

[Jo sees you staring there mister. You better watch yo self.]

Rory, right? [(S)he just said that, smart one.] Don't...touch anything.

[You know what she's talking about. I would use that sneak icon from plurk but I think you understand.]

[video]

[timesnewroman]

[It's normal. You would too if you had never been a lady before. (S)he does look especially bashful about it, though. You look like a very angry, very tiny blonde lady.]

No--No. I wouldn't. Of course not. I'm married.

[video]

[swedge]

Oh well in that case you know exactly where to keep your hands off.

[This tiny blonde lady will fuck you up. Don't even doubt it.

And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Wow Jo this is not how you make friends.]

Name's Jo, by the way.

[video]

[timesnewroman]

Yeah, of course.

[Sure is looking completely shocked by the idea. Rory would never. He's only been in love with Amy since they were kids, and that just sounds like an invasion of privacy.]

Nice to meet you, Jo. I'm guessing you know Mary, right?

[video]

[swedge]

[Just watch out, Rory. Cause this one is watching you.]

Yeah. We're technically from the same world-thing.

[video]

[minifridge]

DOES THAT GO FOR ME TOO?

[Yes, she's talking in capslock. If you haven't seen it before, you have now.]

[video]

[swedge]

[Oh man Mary stop yelling.]

You know, that might be a good idea. Yeah.

[video]

[minifridge]

How do I sound with a British accent? Is it weird? I think it's weird.

[American-ness definitely sounds weird coming from Rory's mouth, that's for sure.]

[video]

[swedge]

It's a little weird. Though I'm more weirded out by you being a dude.

That could just be me, though.

video;

[minifridge]

THIS.

THIS IS NOT A SMALL PROBLEM.

video;

[timesnewroman]

It's--

At least it's--

[Rory, "at least it's not a beard" is not going to work here.]

Yeah, I guess it's not. But, look--it will pass, right? It always does.

video;

[minifridge]

Rory.

I. Have. A PENIS.

video;

[timesnewroman]

[Well, if you put it that way.]

Well, yes, and I have--

Look, I know I sound like a broken record, but it's going to pass. And at least the...dying thing hasn't followed you.

[veneficus]

[

Just.

This.

Face. ]

[timesnewroman]

...I'm sorry. Really, I am. [OH SO SORRY. And it isn't even his fault.]

[veneficus]

It is not your fault -

[ but oh my God, you're not Mary. What did you say your name was again? ]

Rory.

[timesnewroman]

Yeah. I know, it's weird. It's not even the weirdest thing that's happened to me, but--look, I've already assured...everyone that I'm not going to do anything Mary wouldn't do. So it's fine and it'll pass, yeah?

[voice]

[honeyliquor]

[Snort-laugh get.]

OK, props, that's probably the best line of the whole mistaken identity clusterfuck yet. "I'm normally a bloke." Wow it's actually really great to be able to say that. Propsssssssss.

video 5evr

[timesnewroman]

[Shut up, Sollux. You're a lady too.]

"Rory" is a unisex name. I just assumed--well, if another Rory showed up, they'll need to distinguish, right?

video

[honeyliquor]

[Yeah but it's a lady he is strangely attracted to hates.]

Between them and the you who is normally a bloke but just happens to be a girl? I think it's gonna be pretty obvious.

video

[timesnewroman]

[Damn, Sollux, tell us how you really feel.]

...Does it?

(video)

[counterbalanced]

[It's one thing to hear of people's bodies being exchanged, and another to see someone he knows actually experiencing it.]

"Normally a bloke"...so Mary's woken up to find herself in a fellow's body?

[That sounds disconcerting.]

(video)

[timesnewroman]

[Sob Edmund help.]

Uh...yeah. She looks like I normally look.

...It's terribly awkward, isn't it?

(video)

[counterbalanced]

"Awkward" is putting it mildly. [Edmund couldn't even imagine how that might feel.]

Do the two of you at least know each other?

[Not that it makes the switch any less awkward.]

(video)

[timesnewroman]

Yeah. She's actually one of the first people I met in Asgard. So, I mean, that doesn't exactly make it comforting, but it's better than swapping with someone I don't know.

Maybe.