asgardeventide | 2. [Text]

[ A startled noise escapes him when she grabs his arm. He's stunned by her words, expression clearly reflecting his conflicting emotions. He's heartened to hear that she considers him a friend, but the following admission sobers him. ]

Just because they can doesn't mean I should let them. Cooperation is impossible when the playing field isn't level. Listen.

[ Carefully twisting his arm around in her grasp, he rests his hand on her own arm, countenance uncharacteristically serious. ]

Chin up, okay? I can't make promises like I won't get hurt, or that anyone won't get hurt, but I'm always going to be your friend, Nakama. They can't take that away.

[ A smile. ]

It's not like I have a death wish and I'm not planning on getting myself killed by storming the castle. I might not look like much, but I've been around the block a few times. Ultimately, we need more information before anything is done.

[She's silent for a long time, and then she hangs her head.]

Of course. I can't ask you to go against what you feel is right. That was selfish. I never should've done that, I'm sorry.

[She's about to let go of him and walk away when she suddenly feels his hand on her arm, and what he says next almost brings tears to her eyes. I'm always going to be your friend. Her heart wrenches at the words.]

I thought I'd escaped fighting, but... maybe you can't. Maybe sometimes all you get are memories of people. But if they were friends, that's enough. [A weak smile, her eyes glassy.] You have to do what's right. No matter what.

[ He balks. ]

I know what selfish is and that wasn't it. Not even close! There's a big difference between being selfish and being concerned, so you shouldn't write off your feelings like that. I...well, I'm happy that it even matters to you.

[ Dammit, he hasn't felt like this since Nigredo died. He can't even return her smile, because he needs her to know that isn't what he meant. ]

Sometimes. And sometimes, in order to keep those people, to keep them from just becoming memories, you need to fight. Fight for your rights, fight for your friends, and fight for yourself. That's why I can't pretend everything is okay.

Of course it matters. You're my friend.

[She looks almost surprised, like it hasn't occured to her yet. The only war she's ever known was with Zearth, so she's become accustomed to the idea of death being a necessity rather than a chance. But:]

People don't have to die here, even if there's a war. You can save people here. It isn't hopeless. [That's when her first tears escape.] People don't have to die.

Aw, Nakama…

[ Instinctively, as he would have done for any of his friends, he reaches out to embrace her and then pauses, hovering uncertainly. He’s mindful of how she reacted earlier when he went to touch her cloak. And yet, despite not knowing how she’ll receive it, Jr. decides that this is one of the necessary risks he’ll have to take. If she doesn’t move away, he completes the gesture. ]

Exactly. No one has to die. Here, as a community, we have the power to protect each other, gods be damned.

[ He thinks of Nigredo, who sacrificed himself to reunite his older brothers. He thinks of Albedo, who had to be killed to be reborn. He thinks of Sakura, who was murdered. Those he couldn’t save, from all 665 U.R.T.Vs, to his sister, to chaos, Jin, and KOS-MOS. ]

It isn’t hopeless.

[She lets herself be embraced, and she lets herself cry, really cry, for all of them. Not just Waku, Kodama and Daichi, but the others who will still have to die if the world is to be saved. She even cries for herself, caught in this weird half-life with no idea what the future might hold.

Theirs was such a cruel, unfair war, but they're not all like that. She doesn't have to be scared. What she has to do is become strong.

That determination shows on her face as she pulls back, but what she says has nothing to do with war or death. In fact, it might seem a bit ridiculous given the situation.]

Aren't we here to have fun?

[ Back in the space-time anomaly, slumped in the dark and bereft of the familiar beating of his second heart, Jr. remembers that feeling. That feeling of complete and absolute loneliness, of agonizing loss. But most of all, he remembers Sakura's presence and chaos' arms around him, helping him hold it together. Channeling that memory, he focuses on helping Nakama get through this moment. Unbeknownst to him, the memory triggers his new power.

When she's finished crying, he pulls back as well, squeezing her shoulder once before letting go.

Lightly, he jokes, ] What, you aren't having fun yet?

C'mon, Nakama. I bet a place like this is bound to have that stuff in the ancient Earth movies. Er...cotton candy?

[She's surprised by how much better she feels. Almost cheerful, which feels like a betrayal after such dark memories, but she can't bring herself to worry about that. They are here to have fun, after all.]

Ancient Earth...? [She raises her eyebrows at him.] How far ahead in the future were you, anyway?

[ Inside the amusement park, Jr. now has a whole new appreciation for the word creepy: he's looking at the definition of it. Looking around, he considers the question. ]

That depends on what year it is for you. For twenty-first century Earth, I'm more than four thousand years in the future. Pretty freaky, right?

[She's too distracted by his answer to notice her surroundings yet.]

Four thousand - it was only 2003 when I was at home!

Anno Domini, right? It's 4768 for me. 4768 of the Transcend Christ Era. The calendar era name switched from A.D. to T.C. in 2510. I guess that makes me 5275 years ahead of you, Nakama!

Jeez, I feel old.

Oh my gosh. That's... I've been teaching all these people to use a microwave and explaining phones to them, and all of it must seem like antiques to you. That's crazy.

You might as well teach me too. Everything here is so...out-of-date for me that I've actually been having difficulty figuring out things like...how to preheat an oven. The bracelets are more familiar to me than anything in the Houses.

But how have you been adjusting, Nakama? Is this place really different from your home world?

I can help you out anytime. [Very serious about that, allowing no room for argument.] It's all about up-to-date with what I know, so it's no problem at all.

It's... mostly the people that are different. [Thoughtfully.] I came from a small town, where most people are really judgmental and will turn against you for really unfair things. But most of the people here are nice and welcoming, and that takes a lot of getting used to. I don't... [Looking away uneasily.] ... I don't really know how to be liked by people.

[ It's that very breed of no nonsense seriousness and dedication to such things that makes Jr. happy he's gotten to know her. He's known a plethora of people in his lifetime, a plethora of different kinds of people, but she's something relatively new. Listening attentively, he begins to realize why. He's quiet for a time, hands shoved back in his jacket pockets to hide the first signs of his anger. He doesn't understand how someone like Nakama could not be liked, but that's not a battle for him to wage. ]

Is it harder this way?

[ He's not trying to be glib. He thinks of his relationship with Albedo and wonders, is it easier to be disliked? ]

[She blinks in surprise at the question, then gives it its due amount of thought.]

It's... scarier. I used to know what to expect, all the time, and even if I didn't like it - I knew what was coming. But this is new, and I do like it, and... sometimes it feels like I'm just waiting for it to end. Like everything I say, I'm scared that it'll end up being the thing that'll end it.

[ He was going to try not to talk too much, to give her the space to discuss it at her own comfort, but he can't help himself. He snorts. ]

Unless you wake up one morning and your personality has taken a 180, that isn't gonna happen. No way, no how.

[ The way he says it, it's a vow. ]

[Promises like that just make her nervous when people don't know the whole truth, though. Should she tell him? Souji took it well, and said that she couldn't hide from it forever.]

You don't know the whole truth, though. You don't know what people back home hated me and my mom for.

Try me.

[ He stops walking, turning to face her. ]

[She takes a deep breath, fists balling at her sides, and then blurts it out in a rush.]

My mom is a prostitute.

[ That was probably the last thing he had been expecting. Blinking, he straightens, staring at Nakama while he processes this information. Prostitution isn't a new concept to him; he'd traveled to some seedy space stations in the past. Of course, being Jr., the immediate question on this tongue is if she's owned, if it's possible for her to escape that business.

He bites his tongue. ]

I'm sorry.

[ He winces. That might not have been the most sensitive response. ]

It's just...no one should have to put a price on their body and sell it. I don't know the circumstances around why or how she became a prostitute — [ Here, he pauses, testing that word. ] — but I do know that that's no reason to hate her. Or you.

She likes it. She never wanted another job. [A bit defensive, resenting the piteous response just a little. Her mom is no victim.] I was a mistake, she never knew which one was my dad, but she decided to keep me. And she raised me well, no matter what she decided to do with her life. She's a good person, a strong, happy person, and she gave me all of the strength I have today.

[ Again, he winces at her tone and falls silent, brooding. A person like Jr. has difficulty coming to terms with the fact that someone could enjoy such a profession. Highly uncomfortable, he glances away and struggles to understand. ]

I don’t doubt it.

[ And that is said with perfect sincerity. He doesn’t doubt that Nakama’s mother is a good person. How could he when he’s with the very product of that woman’s upbringing? No, he believes Nakama. So why is this so hard to accept? Prostitution is degrading, right? How could her mother like it?

Then he remembers the Kirschwassers and the blood drains from his face. ]

Okay. [ It’s spoken softly. ] I think…I understand. Nakama, I’m not judging your mom for what she does. It’s just that I…prostitution isn’t something I’ve known to be enjoyable.

[ Not for the prostitute, at least, but he wisely decides not to clarify. ]

If your mom likes it…

[ His mouth opens, but he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence. Because he’d be betraying himself and his own ideals by saying “it must be okay.” Maybe for Nakama’s mother it is, but that can’t change his own feelings on the issue. Ultimately, he just shakes his head helplessly, tentatively looking up at Nakama. ]

That's different from saying that she's a bad person for it. Just not understanding... that's not so bad.

[After a pause, she decides to explain a little.] It wasn't usually a good thing in my world, either, but... her boss wasn't so bad, he took care of us, and we had an alright house and stuff. She didn't have to stand on the street, she made appointments. Like dates, only... you know.

Most of the time, it was just like having a mom who worked the night shift anywhere else. It didn't bother me too much when I was at home. It was just when we went out, and at school...

[ Jr.'s jaw tightens at "wasn't so bad," unhappy with the implications there, but he doesn't comment. In the past, before he learned to accept his flaws and his mistakes, he would have said something. He's embarrassed by the knowledge that, had he been taken from an earlier point in his timeline, he might have blown up on Nakama for acting like this was okay.

Instead, he listens. ]

School. [ He can figure out the rest. ] I never went to school, but I think I know what it's like. One collective consciousness. A hivemind. None of those kids think for themselves. If even one of them picked up the idea that you and your mom had something to be ashamed of...

[ Well, the results would be obvious. ]

Did it ever get better?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject