trois: obligatoire français

[amant]

[It's been awhile since Francis has actually been so bold as to post to the network. It's bad enough that he's commenting on other people's posts for crying out loud. He's been making a fool of himself on a more private scale and that SIMPLY WILL NOT DO. So no--this radio silence has officially been cut off for great justice.

Now, one could say that he's here to philosophize on your ass, or perhaps give love advice since, you know, he's so excellent in maintaining his own personal life. Perhaps he just wants to complain? He is French. It's only natural. However, as the video adjusts and Francis adjusts himself to fit just so into the frame looking mighty dapper today, it becomes clear that this isn't on his agenda. At all.]

My friends; some of you have seen me around and while others have not-- it seems as if Asgard is eagerly accepting more people within its borders, in which I must say hello. Welcome to this ah, surely unique experience. 

[rubbing his jaw, he divulges his imaginary audience with a bit of a grin] 

That is hardly the point of why I am here gracing you with my presence! Non, you see-- I am but a man that is seeking out companionship. An activity partner if you will. While I am not a shy man I hardly can indulge in spa days by myself. Imagine that-- myself, just hogging up all the attention with hardly anyone to talk to! 

Do tell me that there is someone out there that will save a man from his own?

[Why yes, he is bothering the good people of Asgard for a play date. He needs someone that is unattached to his current dilemmas to take his mind off of surly men things. NO HE IS NOT LONELY. NOT AT ALL. Why can't he ask to be rubbed down by a stranger in the company of someone who is a different shade of STRANGER?]

Comments

[unionjackass]

... [snorts into laughter!] Of course a Frenchman wouldn't know that proper conversations are usually held with two people looking at one another. The only thing perverted here is your sense of social graces!!

[amant]

Non. You see, I believe it more genuine to look the other in the eye. Your sense of social grace are laughable in themselves, mon cher.

[unionjackass]

That's exactly what I said you miserable lump. If you can't see the rest of someone's face when you're looking them in the eye then something's horribly amiss.

Anyway, I've no intention of joining you at some... some institution of debauchery.

[amant]

Oh no, you can do that on your own.

I wish to find good company to enjoy a massage with is all. Debauchery-- must you continue to embarrass yourself?

[unionjackass]

Anything you do tends to lack in civility and purity.

[amant]

Only when you are involved.

[What now?]

[unionjackass]

--[lkfsjda;wlefl--!!] T-that's not the case at all! You take that back!!

[amant]

Why should I take back what is true?

[Yeah he's not going to. You weren't all that ashamed when it HAPPENED. Loser.]

France stop hateflirting it's getting him flustered

[unionjackass]

[THEY'RE ON A PUBLIC NETWORK.] If I was there I'd wring your neck with my bare hands!

[and do other things, judging by the heat in his face and ears.]

It's one way to get the blood flowing.

[amant]

[Have a rather. Indulgent laugh. A chortle, you might even liken it to]

So you do remember what I like, Arthur. I'm impressed! Why you suggest it so freely however is the most shocking.

[s m i r k]

[unionjackass]

. . .

[mouth hanging open did you really just--did you really--]

[amant]

[Yes I did.]

[unionjackass]

[...fslkdj

slkdjfa;wkejf;

alksdl

dirty--bastard--]

FUCK OFF. Go have your silly... spa... outing or whatever it is! At least I've been doing something useful!

[amant]

[excuse him. he's ducking out of the view to laugh his ass off at your expense.]

Stop pretending for once and share a nice afternoon with me! Silly man.

[Besides. He doesn't want to fuck OFF, per ce]

[unionjackass]

Will you just--stop--inviting me to things--! You're not allowed to be nice--! Y-you're like a snake in the grass wearing a giant ruff fancying itself all sneaky like, but you in fact just look incredibly obvious and stupid!

[no england just stop. just go with France. seriously.]

Ew phone tag.....

[amant]

If I am but a pompous snake why are you concerned? What was that again? Ruffs? [He pauses as if he's taking a moment to picture this all] You said that all I needed to do was ask and look! I asked, and you get offended.

[unionjackass]

I said for coffee and tea, not--not soaking all day and being pampered like ladies would. Bet you haven't even been taking care of yourself, have you Frog? Trousers feeling a bit tight around the waist, I'm sure.

[amant]

My trousers are fine. Nice to know you are so concerned with my waistline that you have to imagine things, non? [raised brow... you know, just giving him the 'make it any more obvious that you miss these hips' look]

[unionjackass]

I was willing to be gracious and offer... assistance...

Seeing as I do run the Citadel.

[Yes indeed, he misses bruising them.]

The offer for coffee and tea still stands if you'll take it. See, I'm quite capable of being generous! [preen, preen, preen]

[amant]

Assistance? Was that what that portly commentary was alluding to? [You are such an awful conversationalist... Francis' expression is almost Look at the pretty birdie puffing out his feathers! -- which he imagines when thinking of Arthur, among other things.]

It's a wonder why you care so much about my physical appearance! Then again, your chest is so stuck out I am surprised you are not tipping forward. You know where I would be. Well, once you are done patting yourself on the shoulder; if that day were to come.

[Fuck you. He's not coming to you-- you come to him. If you even come at all.]

[unionjackass]

[... Wow. He went and offered right there to be nice. Alright then, he sees how it is. You know he's not going to France, his pride is too great for that.]

As if I'd do any such thing. Have fun playing with your meaningless toys.

Ever think you're lonely because you're such a selfish ass? Oh no, excuse me, of course not. The day you're self aware is the day Hell freezes over.

[amant]

[Oh no. You are not going to do that and they are not going to do this again.]

I hardly appreciate you calling any friends I have met meaningless toys. I do not speak ill of yours, you know. As for the rest-- perhaps I wanted you here because I am not entirely sure where you are, hm?

[Go back to calling him fat. It's easier B(] Plus, the owners of the cafe I frequent might have a fit if I go somewhere else!

[unionjackass]

No, forget I even offered anything at all! [oh France just look at him; England folds his arms and scowls off to the side.]

Not like. Not like it's been a while. You're not the center of the bloody universe, you know! What's it matter where I am anyway? Usually people decide to meet somewhere after they agree to meet. We haven't agreed to anything!

[He knows where he's not wanted. :| ]

[amant]

[WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO HIM UGH STUPID STUPID STUPID]

I wanted to spend time with you, Arthur! I tried to get you to come with me, did I not? [Don't you argue it, or he'll find you and kick the shit out of you, supposed lovehandles and all.] Idiot... you truly are! Why can you not just spend time with me without it being an act of generosity?

Where are we meeting, then?

[not like he missed you.]

[unionjackass]

... [lkdsjflkklfsjd] THEN WHY ALL THE TROUBLE?! YOU COULD'VE JUST-- Augh! You--

You anger me with your-- convoluted tripe! It's an act of generosity 'cause it takes pullin' bloody teeth to agree to it! My God. We could have skipped all this if you'd just--said alright let's have coffee and tea then or something!

...

What's the cafe you frequent? --B-but I'm not having tea with you just because you broadcast this stupid message! So don't get any ideas. If that cafe is overpriced you can forget it.

... [ghhgslkdjfs staring off to the side]

... Fop.