[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

Comments

[parasiteye]

You know, you're not lookin' half-bad here....

[1/2]

[reconciling]

[ !!!!!!! ]

[2/2]

[reconciling]

N-no, you're just trying to scare me--

[parasiteye]

...You only just realized that? [ sdjgkks omg no moechan stop ]

[reconciling]

But I know that you're not actually scary, now! So I'll get better at it--!

[ she says this as she's imagining you eating her WIBBLING ]

[parasiteye]

....Don't say that sort of thing when you've obviously about to cry...

[reconciling]

I won't cry!!

[parasiteye]

I can already see your tears!

[reconciling]

Ehhhh?? [ hands going to her eyes to feel for them-- ]

[parasiteye]

[ oh my gosh honey noooo DON'T BE SO GULLIBLE ;u; it makes him want to be even meaner ]

[reconciling]

[ ... hey, her eyes are dry-- ]

No way... you're teasing me again...!

[parasiteye]

You're pretty slow, aren't you? [ This is going to be him leaning back all nice and relaxed in a chair now B) ]

[reconciling]

I-I'm sorry... [ uuuuuuuuuuuuu. just. being quiet now. she needs some time to regroup-- ] You're probably teasing me because I'm fun to tease, right? So in the end, it's because I'm not good at this...

[parasiteye]

Not good at what, exactly? I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish here.

[reconciling]

Oh! Um, I... [ embarrassed, embarrassed... ] I wanted to apologize! But then, I heard you talking to the spider, and it sort of derailed.

[parasiteye]

Apologize for what? [ what did you do, loli ]

[reconciling]

For the first time we met! After we talked, I thought about it, and I realized that I was probably being very rude...

S-so I just wanted to say sorry for that.

[parasiteye]

[ sdfgjksk nooo sorry he's snorting so hard right now ]

What???

[reconciling]

[ sadfajfdlfkjkfdjlkdjlkfds ]

Eh? Ehh??

D-did I say something weird?

[parasiteye]

You. Said something rude???? Are you serious??

[1/2]

[reconciling]

W-well, I thought I was being rude! And I wasn't thinking of the situation at all, so--

[2/2]

[reconciling]

But... you're not mad?

Re: [2/2]

[parasiteye]

Trust me, you've got a long way to go before you could make anyone mad. Unless you're fumbling all over yourself I guess, that's annoying.

[reconciling]

[ and of everything he just said right there, the only that she registered was-- ]

So, you're really not mad?

[parasiteye]

Not a bit. [ SIGH OF COURSE B( educating lolis is always futile ]