[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

Comments

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

Aww. Is he a little baby spider? [ This in a voice reserved for cats, pouting chameleons, puppies, and dog-like warhorses. ] I think he's very cute. Maybe once he's bigger? Unless he's done growing, of course.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

[ sdjkgsdjk rapunzel ]

No...he's pretty much done.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

Oh. Hm.

That may be a problem then. From what I've read? Size matters a lot unless you can be clever. And I don't know how clever spiders are really.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

Well that's why I was tryin' to give him tips.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

Heh. Do you have this problem too?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

No thanks, I choose life.

Re: [ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

Really? [ Slowly, her mouth turns up in a smirk she probably doesn't wear nearly as often as she'd like nowadays. ] I don't know... You seem to know an awful lot about it...

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

--You stop that. Right now.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[glistens]

Am I getting warmer? I'm getting warmer aren't I.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

You are getting nowhere so be quiet.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[glistens]

Aw. Well if you say so. That's really not what it sounds like but I guess you - do know best!

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

Hey Rapunzel, how's your hair doing?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

[ And that silliness drops like - well like something that drops really hard and really fast okay. It's just gone with that CLEVER REMARK THERE. ]

I could give you a concussion, you know.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

I got one of those last week, thanks. All full up on concussions for the next little while.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[glistens]

Then don't joke.

Where did he come from, anyway? Your spider. Did you find him in a pie? [ Rapunzel what. ]

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

What--?? No! He'd be dead if he was in a pie.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[glistens]

That's where I found Pascal. Why did you have a concussion last week?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

Some asshole ambushed me or something an' hit me in the back of the head.

The heck is a Pastel?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[glistens]

Pascal. What did you do to him? To the guy who hit you in the back of the head.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

....I don't remember what happened after getting hit. I just woke up like a day later or something.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

An unknown attacker!! That's dangerous, Kaz! Aren't - Aren't you concerned?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

Only with how bad I'm gonna beat them up when I find out who it was.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

Do you think they had a reason?

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[parasiteye]

[ ...maybe ]

No.

[ ᴠıᴅᴇᴏ ]

[corona]

So it was an unknown attacker and a senseless crime? [ She's heard about these kinds of things. Just another example of why the world sucks!! ] Oh my gosh, Kaz. That's really bad. You - You should get Euri to protect you or something.