[Video]/Action for Hel

[parasiteye]

[ Today's video post starts with lots of glare; sunlight streams directly into the feed through a window for several second until whoever's got the camera on shifts--apparently pulling their arms down from above so that they're held at an angle where there's just a view of the windowsill and their hands. Normal people hands with black nails and a lovely little midget wolf spider dangling between them. They'll twist upward so they stand parallel with the window, and as the spider taps at his hands to test the waters Kaz will start speaking like he's talking to someone off-screen. ]

Okay, so...I guess the first thing is glad t'see you're eatin' right. I mean you started off super-puny so I figured you'd be dead by but seriously, look at you. Totally fattening up there. Good work~ When it gets warmer I'll sneak some of the good stuff in for you. My treat.

I'd tell you not to pay me back but s'not like you've got anything I want. Your place is pretty empty...the other idiot that lives here can't decorate for shit. [ And while he carries on the little wolf spider will drop to his thumbs and start crawling around there, scoping out the large "O" he's made with his fingers to spin a web ]

So, rule number one. Always keep your legs up--right, yeah, like that. Up up so she thinks you're bigger than you actually are. That's the most important thing since as soon as she's on top of you that is basically it: no escape. Don't waste time trying to overpower her because you're obviously not gonna be able to do that. Just go in with your teeth and bite her as much as you can...wait no--first you gotta get up on her back make sure you're on top and then bite her.

When you stick 'em in go right for where she's soft. That's your best bet to give her as much as you've got. If you're lucky it'll be quick and you can get the fuck away before she figures it out.

[ CONGRATULATIONS ASGARD YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPIDER. That's what he just described....ye...p.......

GIVIN' ADVICE TO ALL THE ARACHNIDS. ]

You got all that Qhhth'ssqhk? This is important shit. [ YES HE ALSO NAMED THE SPIDER SHUT UP. ]

Comments

video

[predicting]

Hoh? So it really is just a simple friendship? [ aaand back round he goes. ]

video5evrr

[parasiteye]

We're not friends--!

video moar dan 4evr?

[predicting]

Aha~ I doubt you're trying to imply it's more than that, right...?

A~nywa~y, it's rare to see someone dote on an acquaintance like that, y'know? Though, you could just be an especially kind person, in which case it's my mistake!

ysdfkjdjkgs yyyyyy

[parasiteye]

Ugh just shut up--!!

[predicting]

[ he... just chuckles a little and keeps his mouth shut.

could it be? is he genuinely going to shut up?? is a miracle happening here boys and girls????? ]







I see. [ NOPE. ]

[parasiteye]

[ sdjkfsdkgs RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ]

[predicting]

[ WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO SENSITIVE MAN. HE'S ONLY TEASING, GOSH.

a ha ha. ]

[parasiteye]

[ HISSSSS. Literally B( ]

[predicting]

Hey now~, aren't you getting a little too worked-up over this? It's not good to be tightly-wound!

[parasiteye]

Get out of my post!

[predicting]

But we haven't even introduced ourselves yet!

[parasiteye]

[ HANGS UP THE PHONE HOW ABOUT THAT ]

[predicting]

[ IF HE WAS BORED ENOUGH HE'D LEAVE A MESSAGE.

AS IT IS, MEH. WAY TO FLOUNCE KAZZYKINS. ]