001 ⚜ [Video]

[387counts.livejournal.com]

[The video comes on shakily and off-center to a vaguely interested, but mostly pissed Gat shaking the arrival letter expectantly]

Yo, who the fuck do I gotta kill around here to speak to the goddamn management? This is bullshit. Can't believe I'm the first to say it. Not the whole color and life hippy shit either - That's a whole other crock of shit I don't even wanna deal with right now - but this letter. Look.

It says, and I fuckin' quote - "you will be provided blah blah blah ensure your health and happiness." Now, I don't know about you kind folks but I ain't been provided with shit for my health or fuckin happiness.

I'm about sick of freezing my ass off out here, haven't seen a damn beer one, and there ain't no fuckin stripper poles neither. [He says these last two things as if they are just as vital to ones' health and happiness and protection from the cold is. Priorities, man.] How the fuck am I supposed to be happy when I ain't even got the basics?

Comments

[video]

[387counts.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm fuckin' talking about! Finally, someone on the same - [WHOA whoa whoa wait you are like... Unnaturally white. Gat taps at the 'screen' to no avail, trying to find a way to adjust it before realizing that no, the color is displaying just fine. This is awkward] Yo, what the fuck is wrong with your face?

[charming-jerk.livejournal.com]

[Johnny's attitude quickly changes at that. On top of being snow white, his eyes lack pupils and his teeth are pointy. Yay.]

Nothin's wrong with my face, jackass!

[387counts.livejournal.com]

Well, besides the fact that you look like your mom douched with bleach when she was pregnant with your ass? Sure. Nothin's wrong.

[He isn't touching the eyes and teeth thing; He figures the kid's one of those weird gothy vampire freak types.]

[charming-jerk.livejournal.com]

[He looks stunned for a split second. He's heard a lot of disparaging remarks in his time, and a lot of creative insults. That one has to rank in the top ten.]

Fuck off! Wow, for like half a sec I thought maybe someone here wasn't a total loser asshole, but I guess I was wrong this time.