[video/action]

[charming_jerk]

Lions.

Seriously?

[The camera pans from Johnny's beautiful visage to the front yards of Thor house, where he is standing a few yards away from a pair of lazing lionesses, before swinging the camera back.]

Pretty sure I ain't hallucinatin' this. Is there a zoo somewhere 'round here missing some residents?

---

[Action: Curiosity and bravado usually get in the way of most rational things Johnny should be doing. Like how maybe he shouldn't be approaching the lions like he is. But really? He doesn't want them attacking anyone, so feeding them is a good idea, right? Not that the houses stalk the best of food, but... there's hotdogs. Lots of those. And he'll be getting close to them slowly - no sense to spook them with his super speed - calling to them quietly before gently tossing some food their way.]

Good kitties. Nice, non-man-eating kitties.

Comments

[action]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She's in Thor because she's in Thor, okay. She's got her reasons.

And then she sees someone feeding lions.]

What are - [She claps a hand over her mouth when one of them turns to her and takes an involuntary step back, whispering through her fingers this time.] what are you doing?!

[charming_jerk]

What? I've always wanted a pet. [DEAD SERIOUS.]

[OK only not really.] ...That was a joke.

[whatagoodgirl]

[She's trying to edge closer to him without getting any closer to the lions. It's kind of hilarious.]

Are you sure you shouldn't just - leave them alone?

[charming_jerk]

[Aaaaannnd... off he tosses one of the packets. The nearby lioness sniffs at it.]

Well, my logic here is that a fed lion is a happy lion. And a happy lion ain't gonna attack people. We don't got much to work with though.

[whatagoodgirl]

[... oh.

Well. That's actually.]

That's pretty brave of you.

[charming_jerk]

[That's not something he hears often. He blinks for a moment, then shrugs indifferently.] Figure I can run away from 'em fast enough if they get mean. Though ya think some of these super-strong assholes might wanna come out and deal with this instead.

[whatagoodgirl]

[Oh. He's one of these swearing types. There are a lot of them here, so she's pretty much tired of scolding them.]

Well, we shouldn't hurt them while they're not doing anything... but you're right, there could be trouble if they start attacking. They look so relaxed, though...

[Not that she knows a damn thing about lions. This could be their way of luring in prey.]

[action]

[last_to_kneel]

[Varon has finally managed to get out of the house and do some much needed exercises. Seeing Johnny and his backing up causes the teen to stop and tilt his head curiously.]

Yo, what's up with the...

[Then he spots the lions...]

oh shit.

[He watches this for a few seconds then realizes what Johnny's trying to do. His eyes widen, readying himself for action just in case.]

[charming_jerk]

[After tossing some more food at them, Johnny skitters back quickly.]

Your guess is as good as mine, man.

[last_to_kneel]

[Having lived in an area where wild animals are normal in the city, Varon's jaw drops seeing this and balks.]

What the hell ya doin'? Are ya tryin' to coax 'em or make 'em fat? They won't leave if ya keep feedin' 'em!

[charming_jerk]

'N maybe they won't decide to attack us if they're fed.

[last_to_kneel]

[He tries to pull Johnny out of the way.]

They're lions. They smell food on ya, they're gonna think you're it too, dumbass. Get the hell outta here before they start comin' at ya. Whatever ya do, don't turn your back on 'em.

[charming_jerk]

They don't look like they're going anywhere. Besides, how do you know? You've taken care of lions, too?

action

[wristbands]

[Chie's just going to. watch this display with a very unsure expression on her face.]

...

You've gotta be kidding.

action

[charming_jerk]

[The lions seem happy with their hot dog snacks. For now.]

Your guess is as good as mine. I dunno if they're zoo escapees, or someone's pets. Ya never know in this place.

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[wristbands]

What, are you trying to tame them?

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[charming_jerk]

I'm tryin' to keep 'em from getting hungry and going after someone else for food.

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[wristbands]

... Oh.

Good call.

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[charming_jerk]

I ain't sure what we're supposed to do about this. Does this city have, like, animal control or something?

( action )

[windwalker]

[ She was merely passing by and was going to avoid the lions altogether, but... For the love of all things good-- ]

Hey... You know you shouldn't feed wild animals, right?!

( action )

[charming_jerk]

Better they eat this than someone walkin' by.

( action )

[windwalker]

You know... There's a chance they might eat you instead if you conveniently run out of hotdogs.

( action )

[charming_jerk]

I can run fast enough if they suddenly decide I look tasty.

( action )

[windwalker]

But what if they corner you like a mouse!

Since they'll probably follow you everywhere in big numbers.

( action )

[charming_jerk]

No, y'see, I run really really fast. Thor house member.