asgardeventide | I I ♚ V I D E O ( J O I N T)

[ A video feed turns on, and all the network is greeted with the sight of one Renly and Stannis Baratheon, both looking somewhat flushed. It is clear by their surroundings that they have been drinking.

(However, perhaps the fact that Stannis Baratheon has been drinking, and with his younger brother no less, is enough to strike horror into the hearts of those that know them.) ]

And now we must raise a toast to the king, should we not, brother?

[ Renly lifts his glass - wine, compared to Stannis’ clearer scotch - and looks a little smug as he tilts it forward, eyeing the camera with far too much glee. ]

Of course, little brother.

[ Stannis laughs, bitter and mirthless. He almost knows full well that his is a horrible idea, but still… it almost feels good to finally say exactly what is on his mind regarding his king. ]

Though he may not be here, I have no doubt that he is with us in spirit this very evening. So let us all raise a glass to King Robert Baratheon, who fucked the realm into submission while his brothers dined on rats and onions.

[ And, at his side, Renly leans over and taps his glass against Stannis’, biting back his laughter. ]

Making the eight whilst children wept and poor smugglers fed the realm on his behalf. Ah, what a king we had! Such charm, charisma, courage… But, alas. Gone too soon, taken by a lion’s boar.

And what a boar that it must have been. For what man could slay dragons and krakens, and then be brought down by nothing more than a pig?

[ Stannis’ face twists as he takes another drink of his scotch. ]

Ah yes. A man who seemed able to find every hole in the realm, yet somehow was not able to find his wife’s cunt, even as he shared his bed with her night after night.

If only Cersei had been a Riverlands whore - though, if the rumours are to be believed…

[ Stannis laughs yet again. ]

...Aye, brother. A whore so self-involved, she had to fuck her own mirror image to satisfy herself.

[ It was perhaps more vulgar than he had intended, but yet again, he could hardly bring himself to care. Renly, to his credit, does little more than smile, nodding his agreement. Then, after a pause, a sip of his wine, he speaks. ]

Shall we do what she could not, then? [ He lifts his glass ] Fuck Robert Baratheon, and fuck his tainted brood.

[ Stannis joins his brother in raising his glass. ]

Fuck Cersei Lannister for leaving us directly in the path of a throne that murders all that sit upon it.

And fuck the throne itself, for all the bother it has caused us.

[ And with one final cling of their glasses, they cut the feed. ]

(( black is stannis and gold is renly.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Okay yeah. Kara is laughing. But she does catch the basics, from her conversations with Loras and Arya the previous time she was here. She isn't about to lecture them on the language. She's pretty bad with swearing and drinking herself so that would be hypocritical of her.]

Sounds like you two are enjoying yourselves? Do I want to ask about Cersei?

[ In a normal situation, Stannis might feel somewhat uncomfortable at the notion of a woman laughing at him. But, this is hardly a normal situation, so instead he speaks plainly (or as plainly as one might while drunk). ]

I do not know if I would call it enjoyment, my lady, but my younger brother has been surprisingly tolerable this evening.

[ a pause ]

Cersei Lannister was our good-sister, though truth be told, Robert might very well have been better served by the dead woman he was first betrothed to.

[ Gods be good, his life would be full of regret come the morning. ]

Well, isn't that a good thing? I mean. At least you aren't fighting and bickering the way siblings usually do? Not that I'd know from first hand experience, I'm an only child myself.

[Probably a good thing. Kara being an older sibling could only end up with the younger being tormented and pranked and if she had an elder one, chances are they would end up joining Socrata, her mother in abusing her.]

She can't be that useless, surely? What did you guys mean by frakking her own image? Like, her brother or sister or something?

[Because that is kind of. Gross and wrong and imagine them having kids.]

You should consider yourself grateful, perhaps in that regard.

[ And yeah. It's exactly what you are assuming. ]

It was her twin brother. He sired all of her children and she passed them off as her own.

Maybe. I wouldn't want my childhood to be inflicted on anyone else at least.

[Because that was bad enough just for Kara, let alone some other poor kid. But she raises an eyebrow at that.]

Frak me. So her kids....what, they're in line to be the heirs? If people know and can prove that they weren't Robert's kids then why would they still be on the throne?

[Because as far as Kara knows on this sort of thing with royalty years back, this sort of thing is kind of. An obvious obstacle. One needs to be the legitimate heir to take a place of ruling and command.]

At the very least, I suppose that I had little to complain about in that regard.

[ Until... he and his elder brother watched their parents' ship break apart on the rocks below their keep. ]

And that was the problem. I was the first to suspect something might be amiss, but I could hardly go to my brother without any proof, now could I? So, I went to my brother's Hand to gather evidence, but he was soon murdered, and the information he had was lost.

I attempted to tell the realm, but without any proof, and with little love, fools upon fools did not believe the words.

[ For without proof, all men knew that words were but wind.

He tries not to sound too bitter, but the drink really doesn't help. ]

Not everyone can say as much.

[Kara bites her lip, nodding. Understanding, or at least thinking she is starting to, even if she hasn't quite necessarily connected that these two are from the same home as Loras and Arya.]

So they tried to cover it up by killing him. Motherfrakkers.

I can imagine.

[ After all, he had a Hand who grew up in one of the lowest parts of King's Landing. ]

It is hardly surprising, is it not?

I am always tolerable, Stannis!

[ He nudges his brother with a frown, almost teasing. How strange. ]

You were simply too blind to see.

Perhaps.

[ Surprisingly, Stannis might just smile ever so slightly. ]

At the very least, you are more tolerable than our departed elder brother.

[ A rather undignified laugh at that, brother. ]

That is hardly a feat to be celebrated.

[ He is going to regret that come morning; he did love Robert, with as much of his heart as he could spare. ]

Indeed.

[ As did Stannis, after his own fashion. Perhaps he would have not been so offended by his friendship with Ned Stark had he truly not cared of his brother's opinion. ]

Be that as it may, it is a shame that he is not here. It might have done him some good to be humbled just once in his life.

Do you think this place would humble him?

[ A pause, a lifted eyebrow. ]

Gifting him his 'son', a Kingslayer without a hand to slay and new magics with which to test himself? His cock would rise at the thought.

At the very least, he might find himself lacking in ready women to fuck.

[ That almost warrants more laughter. ]

What didn't Robert's cock rise at, truth be told?

His poor soul. I think his heart would break.

[ He laughs, then, unable to resist. ]

'Tis true. You should have seen him when we spoke of the Targaryen...

It might do him some good. Perhaps he could fuck his hand instead.

[ And a chortle in return. ]

Daenerys? Did he wish to bed her, even as he demanded her blood? I would not put such a thing past him.

I think his poor hand would rather run than face that fate.

[ He shrugs, nudging Stannis gently. ]

I do not think otherwise. I am sure there were many a blonde whore in his bed that night.

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