001// Audio->Video

[jurlpower]

[The audio comes on first, and muttered cursing can be heard along with a few loud thumps.]

Frell! Just how does this piece of dren work?!

[The feed suddenly comes to life and a dark haired woman is seen glaring. It takes her a few to realize the feed is indeed on, but even when she does, she's still glaring. It was just a tad bit obvious that she is more than just a little unhappy.]

What the FRELL is going on?

[She pauses for a moment, and with discernible effort makes herself calm down.]

Now will someone kindly explain to me where exactly I am? I've never heard of this Arse-gard. And more importantly where are Moya and the others? [Pauses again, her scowl returning.]

Where is Crichton? I want to see him! Now!

Comments

[samantha_grey]

It's pronounced 'Fuck.' "What the 'fuck' is going on."

[Yes, she knew that odds were healthy that the intent was the same, and this person probably came from a world where Frell meant doing the horizontal lambada in a crude and vulgar sort of way, but she was a bit of a bitch sometimes.]

And, since I've never heard anyone pronounce it 'frell' in the last month I've been here, I'm going to go out on a limb and say "Moya, Chrichton and the others" probably aren't here right now. You're in a place called Asgard. You were kidnapped by a group of seven jackasses and two people I haven't decided if they're complete jackasses or just trapped tools, and dragged into another world to fight their own personal war, which they claim is the war to end all wars in all worlds.

Name's Samantha. Welcome to hell, here's your copy of windows. [Someone had told her that once before. She hated computers, but the joke was a little funny, especially if you said it in a deadpan voice.]

[jurlpower]

[Oh, Samantha, see this? This is a highly unamused Aeryn. Your humour is completely lost on her.]

Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it's you who's been pronouncing it wrong? That perhaps your way of saying things isn't the only way?

[She's just going to ignore the talk of jackasses for the time being.]

And why would I want a copy of windows?

[samantha_grey]

[In return for a humorless response, she switches over to an only moderately more helpful tone. At least, right now, she doesn't sound like she's poking fun.]

Nope. Never occurred to me once, lady. The windows thing's an old joke where I come from. Lot of people hated it, apparently, so they figured it was part of being in hell.

Name's Samantha. What's yours?

[jurlpower]

[Of course not.]

Your joke means nothing to me. [Really, it doesn't. It's not even remotely haha for her.]

I'm Aeryn Sun... Former Peacekeeper. [Yeah she's going to add that in, just in case. It will help tell her where she is, she hopes.]

[samantha_grey]

A cop. Lovely. Well, welcome to Asgard regardless. If the stories are to be believed, we're sitting near the top of the world tree Yggdrasil and the realms fan out from here. The war to end all wars is coming, and you get to prepare to fight the coming hordes of fire giants and ice giants by bringing color to the world with fascinating activities like hugging contests.

Aren't you just the luckiest, Peacekeeper?

[Somebody doesn't care if her humor's lost. She's just plowing along in a deadpan monotone.]

[jurlpower]

I don't know what this cop you speak of is. [Or anything that's just been said to her really. All she got out of that a war was coming.]

You make no sense at all.

[samantha_grey]

This world doesn't make sense. "Cop" means police. Law enforcement. They keep the peace inside a country and enforce whatever laws are in that country.

I'll try this a little more basic. You're in another world. Another dimension, and you were kidnapped.

How we doing so far?

[jurlpower]

Right, of course it doesn't. [Have some flat eying there.] Former Peacekeeper. Perhaps you didn't hear the former part the first time I said it and if that's the case, perhaps you should get your ears checked.

Being in another world is nothing to me. I live in a space ship, we go to other worlds all the time. [She glances around though, obviously not impressed by any of this.] What dimension though?

[samantha_grey]

Anyone who still calls themselves a former anything still thinks of themselves in those terms a little. Once a cop, always a cop, even if they're not wearing the badge.

Don't have a name for you on the dimension, other than Asgard. The city's far from the whole picture, but this place is supposed to somehow be linked to the world tree. Other than that, I couldn't tell you where it's located as far as other dimensions or alternate realities are concerned.

I will tell you this. No spaceships anywhere around here. There'll be no "beam me up Scotty" exits for you, at least not right now.

[jurlpower]

[Aeryn glares at the girl.] You don't know what you're speaking of, so I suggest you stop now. [No, really.]

You speak a lot and yet you aren't telling me anything useful. Beam me up Scotty? What does that even mean?

[samantha_grey]

[She shrugged.] Escape. Departure. Egress. Vamoose. Get us the hell out of here. Exit stage right. Vacate the premises. The context on that one really wasn't that bad. Anyway, there's no spaceship, and though we're trying we haven't found a way off this rock yet.

By the by, since you're obviously not catching idioms, you might want to sit back and close your eyes and slowly think about what people are saying. Even if you don't catch the meaning of the words, the context should give you an idea. Because, like it or not, most of us have our own colorful ways of talking, lady, and we're not likely to drop them without a lot of effort.

[jurlpower]

[Okay, Aryn is really not liking this girl at all.]

Has anyone ever told you that you talk entirely too much?

[samantha_grey]

Repeatedly. Never stopped me.

[Yeah, the feeling was a little mutual, and she could be a bit of a bitch about things, as was pretty obvious by now.]

[jurlpower]

[Aeryn makes a face.]

And have they also told you that you're annoying?

[samantha_grey]

Less often, but most of the ones who think that usually don't stick around to ask. They get annoyed, and then they leave. Besides, the last month and change is the most human contact I've had...

...

Ever.

Not a whole lot of frame of reference to go when you live alone in the mountains with your mother for most of your life.