asgardeventide | D539 (before the battle)

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D539 (before the battle) | Voice

... ugh.

[Ellie sounds... out of it. Not herself. Distracted, like she's been hit a few too many times in the head, or is somehow drugged up. She's finding her way but she's slow, like she's having to think about every word before she says it.]

So. Question -- how many of you guys have been in two places at once?

I think I was back in my... my world. For a while.

But I was here, too.

Anybody?

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[Ellie breathes out, slowly. Like it hurts. Because she's about to say it out. And once she does, she can't take it back.]

There's this thing we have to do at home. Something really important. The Infected -- I'm immune to it. We were trying to find this group called the Fireflies. So they could use me to make a vaccine.

That's everything we've worked for, the whole reason we were out there in the first place. The whole reason we went through everything we did.

... we got to the city. And then there was an accident. I almost drowned.

And then when I woke up, I was laying in the back of a truck, and we were driving back to -- Jackson. Driving home.

[She keeps it to the facts, keeping it simple. Wants to know if Killua will come to the same conclusions that she does, will recognize the strangeness of it.]

I was wearing a hospital gown. Still kind of dizzy. Joel said it was from the drugs. That they were still wearing off.

Edited 2014-11-18 07:11 (UTC)

[ He listens in silence, even if it takes her a little while. It seems important-- though he isn't sure why Ellie is telling him all this. Sure, he volunteered, but he hadn't expected her to trust him. He still got the impression they weren't on very good terms, and yet...

She must really need someone to talk to, after all. ]

And you don't know what happened between when you almost drowned and then?

[Being totally unconnected to it all makes it safer to tell him, because he can look at it without bias. As much as Ellie doesn't want to face the reality that waits at home, she wants to know if all of her suspicions make sense.

She's talked to Killua before. She's fought with him before. And scarily enough, he thinks a lot like her, in some ways. If he arrives at the same conclusion she has-]

... exactly.

Joel -- said that we found the Fireflies. And that there were a lot of people. Immune, just like me. And it hadn't done any good. That they'd given up on a vaccine.

Edited 2014-11-18 08:44 (UTC)

[ And it hits suddenly why she's telling him, what she needs. Unfortunately, he's sure that the answer he thinks of immediately is the same that she's already got-- and the one she doesn't want. ]

Sounds fishy.

[ He almost apologizes, but doesn't. It's not that he's trying to be cold. He just isn't sure what else to say. ]

...probably. I mean, what do I know?

[It's the expected answer. She expects it to feel like some sort of relief, but instead it's hollow, like a hole sitting in her chest, pushing her apart to get larger.]

I thought so too.

[ There's a muffled sigh on the other side, like he's trying to hide it. ]

You want to ask him about it, but you're not sure you want the answer.

...am I warm?

Warm.

... but I already did ask him. He swore that everything he said was true.

[Guess what Ellie thinks, Killua.]

You don't buy it.

[ It's not a question. He can tell in her tone, clear as day. What he can't tell is why she's hesitating about it and apparently not calling Joel out on it.

Killua is quiet for a moment, considering it. ]

But you either think he has a good reason, or you already know the reason.

...Not sure why you seem to want me to repeat stuff you already know for you, Ellie.

I don't buy it.

[She confirms softly, squeezing her hands together. Her voice is quiet, a little removed.]

I asked you because I know you'd tell me the truth.

... Killua? Why would you lie to somebody you cared about?

What's the only reason?

There's not only one reason.

[ He's starting to sound impatient, but it's mostly because he's confused, and caught by surprise that she's so interested in actually hearing what he has to say. There's respect there, and it's weird-- But they're allies, at least. He'll admit to that much.

Ellie's right. He doesn't see any reason to lie to her right now. ]

I know what you're getting at, and I can't answer things like that for you. I don't even know the guy.

But if you think he's doing it to protect you, then you should probably ask yourself if you think that's a good enough reason or if you want to confront what he's trying to protect you from.

[So he says, but he still nails it. The reason. Ellie sighs slowly, trying to release the tension in her chest. It doesn't work, comes out all shaky.]

It's not like I can do anything about it here. Calling him on his shit wouldn't do any good.

So, what? You're just gonna pretend everything's fine?

Yeah.

I am.

Because if I get the truth out of him and he tells me that what I think happened is completely right -- it means that not only did Tess die for no reason, but everything we went through was for absolutely fucking nothing.

And it means that I'm gonna have to leave him.

[Ellie's voice breaks a little.]

So yeah, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. And I'm gonna go looking for more Fireflies. And I'm gonna do it with him, because he's the only person left alive who ever cared about me. Not about my skills, or how special I am, or about the cure.

Just me.

[ He listens, even though he doesn't really know what she's talking about. The way she says it, it sounds like she needs to-- even if he's sure as hell that it's not him she should be talking to in the first place. It's frustrating, wanting to be useful, feeling like he should be, and not at all knowing how to actually follow through.

It's the last part that hits a little too close to home. He's quiet, biting his lip on the other end of the line, just his breathing letting her know he's still there. This suddenly feels like a lot of responsibility, and he's not ready for it. He wonders how much stock Ellie puts in his words and hopes it isn't much, for her sake. ]

Then he probably knows how you are about trusting people...

[ He doesn't mean anything by it; it's just been obvious from the start, and Killua would be willing to bet it's somewhat the same even with the people she's close to. ]

And he's gotta know you figured it out. If he's still sticking to his story, it must be important.

He's like...

[ Killua hesitates. Family is a touchy subject. ]

He's like your dad, right?

[Part of her wonders why she's talking to anyone at all. There's nothing they can do, and no information to be gained. Nothing else to figure out.

Sometimes, pain is a weight that suffocates you unless you cry it out. Sometimes, the truth is just too crushing to bear alone. The best thing that Killua can do for her is listen to her talk, and he has. He's lessened the hurt and fear and pressure just by knowing.

Ellie thinks about all the times she's been mistaken for Joel's daughter. About how after over a year of it, he's stopped correcting them. Even if they aren't related by blood, he's the closest thing she's ever had to a family.]

... yeah.

Exactly.

[She breathes out again.]

I'm sure that he had a good reason. But I- he can't decide my life for me.

No, he can't.

So you're the one who has to decide what to do about it.

... thanks, Killua.

I didn't do anything.

... listen, I'm just-

[Siiiiigh.]

Y'know. Sometimes, just saying stuff. And having somebody listen, and not tell you you're completely bonkers? It actually helps.

So- yeah.

Right, well--

I don't think you're bonkers.

So there.

... are you sure you don't think I'm bonkers?

[There. That sounds about 200% more like Ellie.]

[ Much better. Killua snorts, shaking his head even though she can't see it. ]

I'm not sure you're not deaf.

I'm not that old and grey yet.

Then you shoulda heard what I said the first time.

You're a really hard person to say "thank you" to, yanno that?

D539 (before the battle) | Voice

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