Video

[everysecond]

[Riley’s giggling can be heard even if her face can’t be seen. It seems she’s currently sneaking through Needle in a Haystack to where there are a bunch of voices. With a snort, the giggling stops as she aims the view around the corner to show…

A bunch of shirtless Assassins in various stages of irritation over the fact. It’s so funny to her that she has to share this with the world.]

[Altaïr’s arms are crossed over his chest (not that that does anything to hide it) and irritation is written all over his face.]

They just disappear? Nothing will stay on any of us?

[An Italian accent chimes in, and Ezio turns his head towards the group, back to the camera, and actually trying not to smile. Okay, so in between all of this war, it’s funny to him, despite the irritation he may feel.]

I have only tried once- and as much as I wish to see if it would work, I am not certain I wish to sacrifice more of my clothes if Asgard demands we remain this way.

[A second equally Italian accent chimes in, far less entertained sounding.]

Is this a regular occurrence in this city then? People’s decency revoked for… amusement?

Come now, padre, you make it sound as if we are treated like barbarians. [Ezio can’t really hide the smile he’s wearing. Oops.] I do not mind the attention so much.

Your madre will have me up by my thumbs for parading about in public!

So will my wife. [Altaïr hesitates, as if he’s not really sure.] Most likely.

[ In the midst of the Assassins' kerfuffle, Desmond hurries in from the summer heat, equally shirtless and equally vexed. ]

Does anyone have a spare- oh.

[ If he wasn't bewildered before... ] Really?

[ It seems like Natasha is always last to know these things - but it was really inconvenient, to be honest. She’d been at work at the bar when her shirt had suddenly decided to take a vacation to god-knows-where. Now she’s come to join the cavalcade, hands propped on her hips once she spots the predicament of everyone else. Her bra has decided to stick around for the party, at least so far. ]

I liked that shirt. And I liked the rest of you with shirts, no matter how .. interesting .. the view. [ She sighs slightly, not ashamed of being sans-shirt but definitely very far from pleased. What’s next? Their pants? ]

[Connor wanders by Riley’s hiding spot about that point, utterly unruffled by his current state. He pauses briefly and glances in her direction.] Good morning, Riley. [And moves on with his day. These boxes won’t unload themselves!]

[Immediately everything falls silent as everyone but Connor turns to look at the Novice Assassin with looks that say she had better run.]

You should be impressed I was here this long without you noticing? She does look better than all of the rest of you though.

[That doesn't help the problem and she bursts out laughing as the angle changes to show Riley laughing her ass off as she runs as fast as she can because she is in SO MUCH TROUBLE.]

FUCKING WORTH IT!

[ooc: Welcome to the shirtless curse brought to you by Altaïr, Giovanni, Ezio, Desmond, Natasha, and Connor. It's an Assassin shirtless party! Well, most of the Assassins. Riley, for example, did not get hit and made the most of it.

Network responses very welcome but there will be an open thread for people to visit Needle in a Haystack if they want to see all the shirtless Assassins in person! Enjoy!]

Comments

[windbreak]

[Her casual air makes him suddenly suspicious...]

You... didn't have some kind of ulterior motive in showing almost all guys, did you?

[everysecond]

Liiiiiiiike?

[windbreak]

[There's a little spluttering before he settles on:] Dude, that makes it sound worse!

[everysecond]

You know I have no idea what you're talking about, right?

[windbreak]

[The faint slap in the background is the sound of his palm hitting his forehead.] I'm not spelling it out for you!

[everysecond]

Then I guess I'm just going to have to start making shit up.

Let's see...you're super grateful I had a lot if shirtless guys in there because you really wanted to stare at them but were too shy.

[windbreak]

Wha- [Too little, too late.] No, no, no! Hell no! Where did you even - a-and, and, forget that - since when the hell was this about me!?

[everysecond]

You were wondering what the guys looked like and now you're happy you finally know.

[She can make more stories. You'd better just tell her.]

[windbreak]

You little... I don't even know them!!

[Which is the salient point here, of course.]

[everysecond]

It's because you secretly dream about them.

[windbreak]

Oh, come on! What's your problem!? [He sounds about ready to burst into tears, but he won't. Probably.]

[everysecond]

Hey, you're the one who wouldn't explain it to me. I have to make this shit up now.

[windbreak]

[He suspects any kind of protest is just going to encourage her, but he still can't hold back a small groan.] Of course you do.

...At any rate, are those guys gonna be okay?

[everysecond]

I'll let you know if you tell me what I want to know.

[windbreak]

What!? Hey, it was a joke! Just let it go if you didn't like it!

[everysecond]

That's not it at all. I don't care. I just don't get it.

[windbreak]

Same difference, right!?

[everysecond]

Not even close.

Especially since I'm into girls and I have a girlfriend.

[windbreak]

...Huh? Seriously? [Sometimes it takes a lot to coax the cogs of Yosuke's memory into resuming their grind, but once they have, he can't help but glance back at this particular name tag and do a double take.] Wait, don't tell me you're the girl she said...?

[everysecond]

Depends on the she?

[windbreak]

Oh! I'm not talking to Ellie behind your back, and I'm not discriminating... [Though he is pretty clearly tripping over his own tongue.] I think she just mentioned something like that once.

[everysecond]

Yep. That's my girl. She is definitely my girlfriend.

[windbreak]

Thought so. I mean, there'd have to be someone else with the same name, and, uh...

[He thinks for a moment.]

... Yo, how about you record that sometime instead? To make it fair.

[everysecond]

Gather some shirtless girls for me then and I will.

[windbreak]

What? Why me? There's no way any of them would agree to that! [Obviously the most relevant problem.]