asgardeventide | [video] slightly forward-dated to 452, midday

[It's immediately clear that Ryan looks and feels like death warmed over. He's exhausted, pale to the point of looking almost ill, disheveled-- and there's none of the usual expressiveness in his weary face, no interest as he looks at the feed. No light in his eyes.

He pushes his hair out of his face, exhales; his tone is just as lackluster as his expression, utterly worn out.]

So. Guess we're hitting that point, yeah? You saw the message yesterday. It's not the only one, and I get the feeling neither of these is going to be the last. It's all starting to roll downhill. Unravel. Fall apart. Pick your overdone metaphor, it means the same damn thing.

[He stops there for a moment, with a brief false start before he shakes his head and continues on.] And what I want to know is- what are we even accomplishing, here? What are we doing-- we get told we're changing destiny, we're going to save the worlds, but you can see what's happening now. Maybe we delayed it but this is what happens when you try to fight what's meant to be, when you try to push at what wants to happen. It pushes back at you. It lets you know you can try all you damn well want, but it's going to have its way in the end. I mean, what-- it was supposed to be this war ending it, wasn't it? That final battle? We changed that. The Big One hasn't really gone down but just look at this, things are ending no matter what we do.

All of this, all of the shit we've done, it's a dam. That's all. It's holding the flood back as well as it can but it's still raining, isn't it? It's not going to stop raining. And eventually it's going to overflow no matter how high we keep building, because we can only do so much and this is bigger and more persistent than any of us are. We're just pulling the bandage off slowly and it's only going to hurt worse for that in the end.

[This time, the pause is longer. Ryan leans back away from the screen, the back of his chair propping him up, and just eyes the feed for a few moments; when he carries on again, there's finally something more to his voice, something hurt and angry and broken that rises while he speaks 'til it's near feverish.]

So what do we do now. Are we going to acknowledge it's not going to work, or are we going to keep at this while worlds shrivel up one by one? Are we going to keep pretending we're doing anything at all until not a single fucking person here has a home to save anymore? And what about us, what about the people who've already lost everything--

[It's there that his breath hitches, catching in his throat, and the anger floods out of him all at once. He almost visibly deflates, exhaling one more shaky breath, his voice small.]

What are we supposed to do now? Tell me that. What do we do now.

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No~thing.

[The voice comes from somewhere behind him, waiting until Ryan had finished his speech before stepping over. Wrapping his arms around his neck from behind, Henry leans over his shoulder in a motion that was more casual than affectionate.]

Every single one of us is going to die~ Us, the gods, every world out there.

[It might be hard to see with his face against his, but he's smiling again. His laughter's sharper, though his manner is otherwise languid.]

Isn't that great?

[He leans back into Henry with a murmured, indistinct sound, just sort of letting himself go slack. There haven't been any tears yet, no breakdown-- on some level the shock of what he'd seen hasn't entirely hit him in all its enormity, leaving him feeling oddly hollow instead.]

Don't know if that's great, exactly, but- well. What we think of it isn't going to matter, is it.

[Tears would be something Henry'd have a hard time dealing with, but the hollowness, the- offness wasn't anything to think about. Anything to worry about. Ryan was awake, the worlds were ending, he was happy.]

Nope. And it always sounded like your world was pretty terrible anyway. Isn't it good to know they're all dead?

[He can't help but wince slightly, giving his head a quick shake.]

No. Not-- not all of them, hell, probably not even most. The whole thing wasn't awful, it was just- trying to fit into my part of it, you know, what I did wasn't made for that.

[Henry hums a little at first, before shrugging and letting go with another laugh, straightening up to walk around him.]

Is that it? You're not just mad that you couldn't kill them yourself? I hope my world gets to end too, yours shouldn't have all the fun~

[He flashes a grin at him, before moving to sprawl out over the couch.]

Then we'll both be stranded here together. That way, even if the whole universe doesn't end, we'll be set.

Think you're probably going to get that wish granted at some point, love. It isn't the kind of thing that stops, it's going to take everything with it-- this place, too. ...but we'll have until then, won't we.

[He forces a grin that doesn't have much emotion behind it, shifting to tug Henry over and rest his partner's head in his lap. Ryan's fingers comb through his hair, just as much a grounding motion for himself as an affectionate gesture.]

M-maybe if we try harder we can change it. I-I'll try harder and fight if I have to. [She would be more of a burden than help though in any fight.]

We can't give up, what will happen to everyone if we do?

The same thing that's going to happen to them anyway. We might as well just make it painless, instead of letting our worlds just wither up and die one at a time.

But then that means that everyone would be gone. Mom, Dad, everyone would be. . .

[Letting himself be guided, he stares up at Ryan easily. The idea of everything dying has his attention rapt, voice empty of anything but the tone of friendliness.]

So what all was it like? The end of a world. Can you tell me the details?

It's half empty.

[ tsk tsk, young man. ]

Tell me, what did you hope to gain by spewing forth such words to all those who will listen? Do you feel better now that your frustrations have been made public?

We keep fighting. Because some chance, even a small one, is better than none at all.

[He's exhausted, emotionally and physically, but damn if he's going to give up now.]

You wouldn't have liked it.

[Ryan keeps up that repetitive motion, brushing some of the hair from Henry's face; he isn't sure whether the apparent return to normal (or at least what's normal for him) is exactly a good thing, but it's familiar-- and at the moment, familiarity is more comforting.]

It wasn't violent or bloody, or anything like that. Things just started to disappear. Historical records, at first, like the past never happened-- and then people. Places. Just... breaking and unraveling and turning into nothing.

[He hesitates for a moment, there- she's young, and he doesn't exactly want to be unkind. So many of them should never have been dragged into all this in the first place.]

There're just times when nothing is going to be enough to keep people safe, and I'm fairly sure this is one of them.

Just half?

[That forced smile is thin, tight.]

Empty's the only way to see it, at this point.

If this is what you call just a frustration, I don't want to know how bad it has to be to become a real problem.

[The attempt to make light of it falls decidedly flat, too humourless to really work.]

But no. No, it's going to take more than venting to feel any better about this.

And what good is it going to do? Because I'm not seeing that we're making much progress on this 'saving the worlds' business. Sure, there's more color to the city, that's great-- I'm not even being sarcastic, here-- but we're not fixing anything else.

Just look at this. At us. Half of us are losing degrees of our minds and the other half's dead.

Huh... that is a little lackluster. I would've made 'em scream or explode.

[Apart from letting himself be used as a petting-object, he doesn't try anything like comfort, blinking up at him.]

Was it really that bad to watch?

[Ninian can't help wincing as she checks the video... She recalls Ryan as a person who has been nothing but kind and polite to through their counted meetings, so seeing him like this is nothing but depressing. And she can't deny it reminds her of what she heard from others more than once in her stay here.]

... I cannot tell you what you should do, I'm afraid. I can only speak for myself, and I suppose would be arrogant to do otherwise. [She purses her lips lightly after saying such words.] But if you ask me... I still want to do something, even if it's just to make the lives of those around us easier.

We keep fighting. We wouldn't have been here if we weren't meant to try and save things. And maybe we have passed the point at which the flood can be held back, but that doesn't mean we can't still make a difference. It might just be a more Sisyphean task than it usually is.

So what would you suggest we do instead?

Wrong.

[ she doesn't like that look on him, so she lowers her own. ]

Your eyes are closed. Can't see with your eyes closed.

Then why are we here? Will we at least get to see everyone before they're gone?

Survive until we can't anymore, I suppose. Isn't that what we always do? People, I mean.

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