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Video - Day 446

[When the feed clicks on, it shows a dark room with very little light. Anyone who peers a little more closely can see via the light from the screen that the caller, Stiles, is in a bathroom. With the lights off. He appears to be a bit stressed out and is on the floor, looking almost fearfully over behind the screen. There's a clawing noise and little squawks and chirps coming from it.]

Okay. Okay. Um... Okay. Would, ah, would someone mind telling me what the hell a dragon is doing in my house? Like, a real dragon? Oh god... it was trying to eat my feet. I think I'm bleeding. Am I bleeding? I might be. It was chewing on my toes. What the hell... How did a dragon get in my room?

[To anyone that knows Stiles and the aforementioned dragon, something might seem a little... off. Like why Stiles doesn't know said dragon is his.]

Scott? Rachel? Do not come in the house. Seriously. I... it might eat your faces off. I happen to like your faces right where they are. Please don't lose them.

[The fact that Stiles is whispering, sort of, and sounding stressed has Hale scratching a bit more intently at the door, little snout trying to fit in under it as he chirps at 'daddy'.]

Oh god. Oh god, it's going to come in and chew off all my favorite parts. If I don't make it out alive, Rachel, I love you. Scott, please take care of her. Derek... somehow this is Peter's fault. Kick his ass.

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[ If eye rolls could be heard. ]

As hilarious as playing with your unsurprising idiocy has been, Stiles. I should probably avoid the chances of giving you irreparable brain damage and let you know that it wasn't me.

I mean really? Dragons? I killed me own niece, may have tried to give Scott's mom the bite, and then well... there's Lydia. I could seriously do worse if I really wanted to.

Or cared.

Hey, dragons are pretty bad, okay? Maybe it would eat part of me and then roast me for you to finish. I wouldn't put cannibalism past you.

[GOD, HE HATED YOU, PETER. SO MUCH.]

If you've ever actually tore your teeth into a human being's flesh, you would know that it's overrated and actually kind of nasty. Fortunately, when it happens, you're usually too driven on primal rage and feral instinct to even care. There's a fun little factoid for you.

Also? If the dragon is actually in your house, I'm seriously questioning how much of a threat it really is. Sounds more like an over-sized pet lizard.

Are you sure it's not Jackson?

[ :) :) ]

... That is like... so many shades of disgusting, I can't even with you right now. Haven't they figured out they made a mistake and sent you home yet? Like, really. Just... go kiss a giant.

You're the one who brought up the joke about cannibalism.

I just kind of ran with it.

Really, you were totally asking for that one.

It wasn't a joke. Dude, how do I know if you ate part of anyone you killed? You're gross.

Well, Stiles. You did see the bodies of my victims or at the very least, got a decent look at the crime scene photos. So, how about you tell me.

Tearing someone's throat out with your teeth really isn't the same as eating them. Just putting that out there.

I didn't exactly sit there and play 'are any parts missing that could have been swallowed' with them. Hell, for all I know you had a nice meal of Laura's liver.

But you would know, wouldn't you? Mister totally in control while wolfed out. Right? Oh, wait...

Would you really like me to fill you in on the gory details of how exactly I murdered my own niece, Stiles?

That's masochistic. Even for you.

Then again, seeing how easily you almost considered receiving the bite from me, I'm really not all that surprised.

Have you told Rachel about that part? Actually, I'm pretty sure Scott doesn't even know.

Details.

[ hn, yeah. details. ]

You know you're really a dick? Like, a massive dick? And I never considered it at all. You're clearly deluded if you think I'd accept getting bitten by someone that smashed my face into a car to get what he wanted... after he killed his own nurse. Like, way to be a crazy dick face.

And here I thought tearing out your actual car's engine and hurling it through a high school window was the bigger offense here.

How much did that run by the way?

I will totes pay you back seeing as we're like, bee eff effs now.

What is with you guys and wrecking my jeep? It's a jeep. It didn't do anything to you. Why not destroy Derek's dickmobile? Nooo... you had to go for the old jeep.

I don't even think you'd be your best friend, Peter. That's probably why you troll everyone so much. You're so disgusting, even you can't stand your company.

If you recall I settled for nearly killing Derek. He got what was coming to him too. Your jeep was just the next best thing.

Actually. I'm finding quite a few people here who are uncannily similar to myself and I gotta say, it's pretty nice. And no, why I "troll" all of you so much is because gauging violent and overly emotional reactions out of teenage children is so unbelievably easy. Like, seriously.

For example, watch this:

How far have you gotten with Rachel yet? First? Second? Third base? Any base? Did you ever actually score with Lydia before that? Speaking of scoring, I'm actually pretty sure I got a heck of a lot further with her than you ever did or will.

How are you feeling right now, Stiles?

[It was pretty easy for him to forget about the man eating dragon outside when he was suddenly consumed with fury. The words were on the tip of his tongue, words he knew would make Peter just as pissed as he was right now. They hovered right on the verge of spewing out and--]

Don't ever even say Rachel's name. You stay the hell away from her. Her and Lydia, you spineless piece of shit. You're not the big bad here, Peter. Not anymore. You come anywhere near anyone I care about and I'll make your house fire seem like a freakin' camp out.

[Breathe, Stilinski. Don't set your own house on fire.]

You don't get to talk about Lydia like that. How would you like it if someone mentioned your daughter like that, huh? You want to know any of the gory deets with her?

[ HAHAHAA. HAHAHAHAHA. Look at Stiles getting mad, look at him g---

Wait.

Record scratch.

HOLD ON A SECOND. ]

What are you talking about?

[ Fuck everything else that Stiles just said. Really. He wouldn't take anything Stiles Stilinski says with so much as a grain of salt but that. Literally came out of nowhere. So. ]

[Oh, how the mighty have fallen.]

You heard me. Or is your age catching up with you now, making you hard of hearing? You finally getting old, Peter?

[He was still angry, still furious, but it was simmering as he heard Peter's... what? Confusion? Disbelief?]

Stiles. Now is not the time to start playing games with me.

I think you probably missed the utter disbelief and confusion in my voice but something tells me that you have some basis for that statement.

Which. Congratulations. You got me.

Now would be a good time to explain yourself.

Explain what? That you wouldn't want anyone talking about your daughter that way? Or that someone might be able to talk about your daughter that way?

[Smug. Yes, that's where Stiles was right now. Right in Smugville, drinking a Smugtini and soaking up some smugshine.]

[ A long pause. Okay. This is actually embarrassing. Because if what Stiles is saying is true, and Peter didn't know than... yeah. So some stupid kid knew about this before he did. Or probably came from the future and.

Dammit.

Peter is about to take a big step here because there is literally nothing else he can do but admit to defeat.

SO. Through his teeth, he finally speaks.]

I wasn't even aware I had a daughter.

[ As of right now he gives literally 0 fucks about how or what anyone says about said daughter because SINCE WHEN WAS HE NOT JUST UNCLE PETER. ]

Yeah? Well, you must be a bit behind, because you do. One who's been living as a coyote for the last eight years. Don't even ask me how a werewolf has a werecoyote, but hey, you guys make lizard people, so whatever.

She definitely doesn't take after you in looks.

[ Ignoring the usual snark. MOVING ON. ]

Who else knows?

Here? I don't know, exactly. Depends on where everyone's from. Or maybe I should say 'when'.

[He knew Derek probably knew. Whether or not he cared...]

Do you know her name?

[ Wow this is like the most no-bullshit-behavior Peter has displayed since his arrival. Miracles do happen. ]

Yes, I do.

[And Stiles isn't going to give him an inch, because 'nice' now or not, Peter still is and will always be a giant dick.]

PRIVATE: such is life in soviet beacon hills

thealphaaaaa - 2014-05-12 09:20 (UTC) - Expand

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Video - Day 446

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not heeere

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GOING TO PRIVATE NOW

PRIVATE: HAHAH

PRIVATE: SHAME

PRIVATE: ON HIM

PRIVATE: SHAKES HEAD FOREVER

PRIVATE: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CONSORT WITH TEENAGERS

PRIVATE: hales will never ever learn

PRIVATE: No, no they won't

PRIVATE: such is life in soviet beacon hills