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[Altaïr looks a great deal more aggravated than usual when he appears on the bracelet, which for him means he wears a mildly perturbed expression. Rather than in A Needle in a Haystack as usual or out on the city streets, the background shows that he stands within the stables. Shaun the pony is watching him with interest.]

If anyone has seen my wife Maria, I would appreciate it if you would let me know immediately.

[His tone of voice doesn't exactly ooze with appreciation, but that's only because he doesn't like having to ask the Travelers at large for help in this private matter. Probably.]

She is not well at the moment, and I—

[At that moment, the tawny head of Lion looks over the stable door, but unlike the rest of his stablemates, Lion appears to be wearing his bridle. His ears are pricked and he looks fairly unperturbed, but then again it's not exactly usual for one of the horses to be tacked up unless they're about to be ridden. Briefly distracted from his public request, Altaïr glances sideways at the horse, then frowns and takes a couple of steps toward it, stiffening as he peers over the top of the door.

[It's a split second later that the heel of someone's hand comes flying towards his face- more specifically, his nose. Altaïr jerks backward to avoid it, but he's not fast enough.]

Maria—!

[Her name is muffled as he stumbles back, swiping at the blood that immediately pours from one nostril. Maria takes advantage of his disorientation as she makes a break for it, vaulting over the stable door as her horse backs away in surprise from the commotion. She's going to do it, sweet freedom awaits!

...except no. Altaïr swiftly recovers himself, then charges after her and tackles her around the waist. She's already struggling as she faceplants into a pile of hay, but he has a few inches and enough weight on her that he's able to pin her easily.

All of this probably made quite an interesting bracelet-perspective show.]

Get off me, ass—

Yes, I know you think I'm an ass. You've made that quite clear. [He shakes his head, then turns back to the bracelet, clearly not at all pleased about what's been displayed.]

Never mind. I will take care of her now.

[...tackling can be part of taking care of a person.]

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[ Well. That was a thing. ]

You. Uh. Need any help with that?

[ There comes a time in every Assassin's life when he or she must Roll With It.

That is one of those times. ]

[Just imagine a stream of profanity from Maria going on in the background.]

I won't say no if you're offering it, since it seems bringing her back discreetly is a lost cause.

[He really doesn't want to hit her and knock her out again. And there's not much point after this public display.]

I might have something for that. Be there asap.

[ True to his word, he gets there as soon as he can, pausing just briefly in the stable door to take in the whole bizarre tableau. All right, time to get this show on the road. Desmond crosses over to them, offering Altaïr a clean cloth for his face. ]

Altaïr, Maria. That looks uncomfortable. How's your nose?

[Altaïr accepts it with gratitude, equally grateful that someone else is here to help if she works herself free. He wipes at his face and glances down at his prone wife.]

It may or may not be broken, but it's painful either way. She throws an excellent blow.

Edited 2014-05-01 21:46 (UTC)

[And Maria is bucking like a bronco underneath him. Ordinarily, this sort of situation would be a lot more enjoyable for them but neither party is laughing.]

You unforgivable, despicable son of a pox ridden whore!

Now, Maria, I'm sure his mother was a real classy lady.

[ Absurdity is the best weapon against absurdity. Say hi to your assailant's doppelganger, Templar!Maria. Desmond fiddles a bit with an object that looks something like a small hand mirror, holding it close to Altaïr's face before shaking his head. ]

Not broken. Still a good shot. Hang on- [ He'll just heal you right up, jiddie. ]

How do you want to do this? I have some sleeping powder, but it won't last long.

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[There's a snort as Ezio arrives in the Bureau after this whole commotion has happened, amused and waiting to see what should be done.]

She certainly is full of surprises, fratello.

[Altaïr is leaning against the wall next to the store room door, the handle of which is currently jammed by a chair. Behind it, Maria is either sulking or trying to make him nervous by staying silent. ~~Probably both.~~]

Only for you. I should have expected this from her, knowing what she was like at this time.

And how long ago was that?

[Not that Ezio is trying to pry, but talking seems as good enough a time-waster as any, considering Maria is being rather impossible at the moment.]

Oh...two or three years ago now. [Counting Asgard time, so he's not sure exactly how long it's been.] As best as I can tell, she believes herself to be from just before the second time we met. She attacked immediately then, too.

[That gets a laugh from the Italian.]

Clearly, you have a knack for being a subject of her ire, Altaïr. [A beat.] Does your nose still need to be taken care of, or has it been already?

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