video ↯ the fourth ⇒ got my ballup shoes and every excuse to dance these blues away

[allbloodyhail]

[ spike has no idea what's gone on the past couple weeks, but he doesn't seem concerned about it. his little gray cat is on his shoulder as he addresses the camera. he grins, other than being really exceptionally well-rested he's just glad to be back around and he's hoping he didn't sleep through anything mega important. ]

So... hey... what did I miss?

[ nope that's it. ]

Comments

action.

[brainiest]

I don't think I can imagine you being evil.

[ Which is probably a good thing, really, because she doesn't want to have to. ]

action.

[allbloodyhail]

I wasn't very good at it.

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[brainiest]

Well, I can see that. We wouldn't be very good friends if you were still evil, would we?

action.

[allbloodyhail]

I didn't know you were so judgmental.

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[brainiest]

[ She nudges him gently. ]

Excuse me? Do you think you'd be friends with me if you were still evil, Spike?

Re: action.

[allbloodyhail]

I don't think I'd be friends with anyone I'd I were still evil, alright. Because I didn't have any when I was.

action.

[brainiest]

Maybe you weren't evil, then. Maybe you were just lonely, waiting for the right friends to show you the best of you.

action.

[allbloodyhail]

No... I was evil. But you're not completely wrong.

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[brainiest]

I think... [ She pauses. It's hard for her to discuss 'evil', but - it's such a point blank, black and white word. ] I think saying 'evil' is far too simple. It's not as simple as one or the other.

action.

[allbloodyhail]

[ subconsciously, he shifts a little away from her as if just being close will somehow corrupt her pure soul. ]

I killed people. Children. Women... Didn't matter. Not just 'cause I was starved; 'cause I needed their blood. But because I liked it. Because I wanted to.

[ his voice hitches, and there's no way he can look up from his boots after that little spiel. ] That's not evil? That's not black-and-bloody-white?

action.

[brainiest]

[ Hermione moves, quickly, taking his hand and shifting closer. ]

But you're not like that anymore. Something changed - you changed. Isn't that what's important?

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[allbloodyhail]

[ spike swallows, squeezing her hand like a lifeline. ]

I changed. [ he repeats it like he doesn't understand what it means for a second, but then he's nodding. ] I wanted to be a better man.

Still do.

action.

[brainiest]

Then that is what we focus on. Not who you were, but who you want to be. Because I can see that you want to be that man - and you're doing it.

[ She smiles, squeezing his hand. ]

action.

[allbloodyhail]

Not good enough. [ i'm not. ]

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[brainiest]

It's good enough for me.

action.

[allbloodyhail]

[ ugh hermione. he tears up, just a little, squeezing her hand again. ] I know, luv.