asgardeventide

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Anyone else get that lightheaded lack of equilibrium kind of tilt o whirl feeling when the gods decide to yo yo them back to real time for a little while?

The time line discrepancies are the least of my worries right now

Whatd I miss?

[Private: Sam and Castiel (Separately)]

We need to talk

[Private: Nat, Charlie, and Jo (Separately)]

Hows my favorite girl?

[Private: Daphne Allen]

In case I didnt mention
Thanks for the magic touch after our trip to the paralleloverse

[Private: Katniss Everdeen]

Sorry I had to skip out on our routine Lets start back up this week if nothing else gets in the way
Hows the light weight treating you?

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Yes, we do.

Hello, Dean.

[Dean doesn't want to come on video but he figures he at least owes it to the guy. More than anything else. The last time they saw each other here was right before Cas died.]

How ya holding up?

I'm fine.

[He's not--he's still sorting out the new memories and experiences as well as dealing with what happened in mirror Asgard--but he has no desire to talk about any of his problems right now. There are more pressing issues at hand.]

You were at home. How long?

[Since they were pretty close in time before; he can figure out what Dean knows by how long it's been for him.]

Long enough to see you get laid, work a convenient store gig, sit babies, and get your grace back.

[Even though he's joking his tone is hoarse and he clears his throat before starting over. This time being serious.]

Kevin's dead. It's my fault.

[Okay, he remembers most of that, but get his grace back? How?

But he doesn't ask just yet, more focused on that last part.]

What happened?

You called me, told me Ezekiel was a ruse. By the time I made it out to Sa- him. He'd already killed Kevin. Unprovoked. My guess? On someone else's orders.

[If the yellow index card was anything to go off of, anyway. He'd get to the grace part a little later. Kevin was more important. He was just a kid, he didn't deserve that.]

I promised him he wouldn't get screwed. Guess I might as well take that one off the table from now on.

[That's... A lot to deal with at once. Castiel isn't close to Kevin, but Kevin is a good person and a prophet, and hearing that he's dead isn't welcome news. That it was done by the angel in Sam--and that therefore Sam will feel responsible--makes it even worse.]

How did this happen? How did Sam come to be possessed?

[Because he knows Dean knows. Everything makes sense now, about why he couldn't be around them, and how Dean had been acting.]

That's where it gets ugly.

[Dean knows that Cas isn't going to be happy but he has to know why he did it. There weren't any other options.]

I sent out some knee mail. Sam was dying. We're talking liver failure and coma. I might've tricked him into saying yes if it meant the dude could heal him from within.

You tricked Sam into saying yes to an angel.

[It's flat, because Castiel is controlling his tone, and his expression also shifts to the blank neutral he uses when he doesn't want to show whatever it is he's feeling.]

Asking was not an option?

What part of he was dying don't you get? I couldn't sit him down and have a conversation with him. Zeke couldn't heal him from the outside, he was too weak. At least that's the line he fed me. I did the whole holy fire thing but I was up against a wall. Nothing was gonna work and Sam was chasing death.

[He doesn't blame Cas for being mad at him. He knows the choice was a bad one. Especially now. He had to live with that.]

He had to give consent, Dean, whether tricked or otherwise, so there was clearly opportunity to speak with him in some way. And you knew he wouldn't agree.

[His eyes are flickering as he tries to keep control of his temper.]

I understand wanting to save him, but that doesn't make this right. You know this.

I know, but there's no going back now. All I can do is deal with it. I'm not gonna make any excuses, you both have every right to be pissed at me.

Then cease justifying your actions.

[And go talk to Sam, because Castiel knows Sam is incredibly distressed about this. Castiel has his own anger and bitterness about what Dean has done, not just to Sam but about him, but it's not important right now and he isn't about to mention it.]

You have a great deal of explaining to do to Sam.

I'm not trying to justify it. I'm just saying why it happened, and it happened because Sam was on a ledge and ready to jump.

[For the thousandth time in his life it came down to him and that wasn't fair.]

I don't see why he should have to keep sacrificing himself, Cas. That doesn't make it okay- I know that. I can't take it back. I've made some pretty big mistakes... and a lot of people that didn't deserve it wound up getting the shaft. There's no way for me to make this better. There's no diffusing the situation. It's just something we've gotta deal with.

[There's an apology. Hidden somewhere in there. For abandoning Cas in his hour of need when he was like a brother to him.]

Edited 2013-12-14 18:41 (UTC)

Not everyone wants to be stopped from jumping, Dean.

[He says it quietly, almost hollowly, because while he hates that Sam might feel that way he understands it because he's felt it himself. And, ultimately, it should be Sam's choice, especially when the alternative is this.

But berating Dean won't change anything about anyone's situation. He notices the half apology but ignores it, not really ready to accept it even if it were given directly, and keeps his focus on the issue of Sam.]

Then deal with it. Sam is incredibly upset, and with good reason.

I think the best thing I can do right now is give him some space. I don't blame him for bein' pissed. I'd be mad enough to start swinging.

[Dean doesn't miss that. He knows Cas has been there. He and Cas have both screwed the pooch a time or two, so he knows that even though he might not agree with this he won't be as upset about it as Sam is. Cas gets him, and he could always count on him to be there. Even if the same couldn't be said in reverse.]

I don't expect it to blow over. That's not what I'm aiming for. For the first time I'm not sure this is something that can be fixed.

Edited 2013-12-18 22:38 (UTC)

I'm not certain there is anything between you that cannot be fixed in time, but allowing Sam space is indeed likely the best choice.

[Though Castiel is going to offer Sam a room in his and Daphne's apartment, if he chooses to take it. He doubts he will, but at least the offer with be there.]

I may not know much, but I know my brother.

[But even that didn't mean that he always took knowing him and what he wanted into consideration, obviously.]

Daphne said you bit it. She's been really torn up about it, man.

Edited 2013-12-20 01:33 (UTC)

I know. She worries a great deal about me.

[He's still getting used to that, even after all this time.]

That comes with the territory. I'm glad you've got someone here that's on your team.

So am I.

[It isn't pointed, but it is left open ended with the implication that he hopes he has more than just Daphne.]

Look, I know I haven't really been the greatest in the friend department lately... but if you ever need someone to throw back a few drinks with and get a load off your chest for a while again, you know where to find me.

For right now I think you should be giving Daph all the attention you can stomach.

[He's struck, suddenly, by the desire to snap at Dean--to tell him he cast him aside in one of the few times Castiel had truly needed him rather than the other way around, and that it was for what turned out to be a terrible reason--but he doesn't, because it isn't fair. Instead he clenches his jaw, not wanting to talk about pretending to return to normal, especially regarding Daphne after everything that happened at home.

In fact, he doesn't trust himself to speak at all now, and so he just gives a small nod; it's not an agreement, but a neutral response, before he shuts off his bracelet. He needs some time to calm.]

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