#004 [Video] Attention: PSA courtesy of your local Guardians

[2cool4guardian]

[Behold, Asgard! This time, Jack's video isn't being recorded on a roof - it's inside of the Guardian's apartment above the ice rink. He is sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, metal staff lying across his lap, but he isn't the one doing the recording. Judging by the snickering coming from behind the screen, Jamie is their cameraman today.]

You know, for a bunch of people who got dragged to a new world by a bunch of Norse gods, were given new powers, asked to fight ice giants-- [He's counting with his fingers as he speaks.] --and get cursed more often than not, you guys sure are waaaay too skeptical for your own good.

[Sandy, looking somewhat sleepy, is perched on the arm of the couch, his sketchpad open in his lap. He lazily sketches things that aren't visible from the camera, looking as though he's only halfway listening with vague amusement to the spirit next to him. Tooth is sitting on the back of the couch, between them, her wings fluttering slightly. She looks rather amused at the whole thing. ]

Jack, that's not fair, just because some things are real doesn't mean they're going to believe anything they hear.

[Jack, being the mature spirit he is, just... pouts at her a little bit.] Do they have to flip out though? I'm started to get offended! [He turns to the camera again, sounding completely serious about this. Mark the calendar, folks.] Soooo, PSA time, everyone. All the stories you've heard when you were kids? Real. Every single of us - we exist. Get over it already.

[Told you about that maturity! Sandy nods absently, a tiny smile on his face as he keeps drawing. Yeah, everything is true. Well, mostly everything. There are deviations from myth occasionally, but eh, not like that matters too much. Tooth smacks Jack's shoulder lightly, exasperated.] What Jack means to say is that in our universe at least, most of those stories you heard weren't just stories. There really is a Santa Claus, there really is an Easter Bunny, that sort of thing.

[Jack rubs his shoulder and pouts a bit more. Tooth is lucky, he simply can't be mad at her.] I was going to explain in a second, you know. [No, he wasn't, but details. He looks at Sandy for support, and notices the little man is absent and kinda sleepy. Gotta fix that! Using telekinesis, he makes Sandy float and puts him in front of the screen.] This is the Sandman, the Guardian of Dreams. He's older than dinosaurs and can kick your butt, so watch out for plant whips.

[Sandy jerks in surprise when he's picked up, looking up at the camera in time to blink sleepily and then give a small, smiling wave. He looks like a tatertot with legs. A sleepy tatertot with legs. And then he starts sketching again, Doesn't he look like the most intimidating thing you've ever seen?

Absolutely terrifying. Tooth is hiding a laugh behind her hand. Jack rolls his eyes (though he's smiling) and drops Sandy back on the couch.] Thank you, Mister Sanderson, for that amazing display of intimidation. Now, this lady here-- [He points with his thumb over his shoulder.] --is the Tooth Fairy, the Guardian of Memories. Who also can defend herself even if she doesn't look like it, even if she got healing here. So be sure to floss often and nobody gets hurt.

[That gets an eyeroll for him from Tooth, who shakes her head at the camera] I'm not going to hurt anyone unless they attack me or my friends, or they're hurting children. I'm sure none of you have anything to worry about.

[A beat.]

But please don't forget to floss.

[Sandy casually flips through his sketchpad, then holds it up, showing a picture of Tooth hovering in mid-air, her fingers thrust in a confused and flailing Jack's mouth and her eyes practically gleaming maniacally.

Don't have too good teeth, people, or this will happen to you.

Jack will proceed to ignore the fuck out of that drawing, thank you. Now it's his turn to wave at the camera.] And Iiiii am Jack Frost. Or Jokul Frosti, like the locals call me. But please stick to Jack, unless you suddenly had the urge to go Norse to match Asgard. Anyway - I'm the Spirit of Winter, Guardian of Fun, I do NOT nip noses and NO, I was never a snowman. Next time someone asks that, they'll discover why I was chosen by the god of mischief.

[Tooth adds mildly, her eyes sparkling] I've heard plenty of stories about how he's messed with the Easter Bunny. I'd watch out.

[Sandy then casually flips to another page, holding it up to show a picture of a snowman with Jack's staff leaning against it and its eyes aren't stones, instead being angry Jack eyes. And the stick arms are waving around in rage. And meanwhile, a smirking rabbit-like humanoid leans against a tree in the background, tossing a snowball from paw to paw with a cocky grin. Revenge is best served cold.

This would happen in Bunny's sweetest dreams, Sandy's sure.

Jack snorts at the drawing.] Riiight, as if he ever could beat me in my own element. I don't have to explain about the kangaroo too, do I? [He sighs before the other two can even say anything. He already knows the answer.] Alright - the Easter Bunny, aka Cottontail, Guardian of Hope and Spirit of Spring. He's huge, grumpy, Australian, and yes, totally real. [He starts counting with his fingers again.] Santa Claus? Real. North, Guardian of Hope, is as real as his huge belly, the tattooed arms, the Russian accent, his army of little elves and the bunch of yetis that make the toys.

[Sandy switches to a new page, his smile growing. This one is a picture of a massive man with a long white beard and lovely designs on both arms, one spelling out Naughty and the other spelling Nice. And said massive man is cheerfully working on a toy at his desk while Sandy battles in the background to keep his eggnog away from a pack of North's wretched elves (while one quietly climbs up a chair to reach the glass while Sandy's holding it out of the others' reach) and Jack surreptitiously sneaks past them all with a mischievous grin on his face, only to be about to crash into a glaring yeti right in his path.

Jack, stop trying to sneak into North's workshop. The yetis will always get you.

Tooth can't hold her laughter in at that one - mostly because it's SO ACCURATE. She kind of forgets that she can't fly and tips backwards off the couch. You can hear her still giggling after she lands, though, so she's probably okay.

Jack looks behind him, chuckles, brings Tooth back to the couch with telekinesis and then just... keeps counting. Don't judge him, this is another normal day in their pseudo-family.] Sooo yeah. That's for the Guardians of Childhood. But I meant it when I said we are ALL real. Cupid? Real. Diaper included, which looks kinda creepy in a little old man. The Leprechaun? Reeeeeal. If you thought Thor drank a lot, you haven't seen that guy. Nessie, the Groundhog, mermaids, Anansi, tanukis and kitsunes, la Llorona, gorgons... the whole deal, I tell you.

[And Sandy keeps on flipping through pictures of Jack somehow pissing off each of these people. Freezing over Loch Ness and Llorona's river while they pound against the ice and growl what are surely expletives in one language or other. Freezing part of the ocean while a mermaid is mid-dive and she ends up smashing her nose on the ice. A fox-like creature with five tails, spinning around to snap at Jack as he tugs on one of them curiously. Jack replacing the Leprechaun's alcohol. On and on.

At a certain point, Sandy just arches an eyebrow and casually flips through the many pages he prepared for this. Jack, have you ever thought that you piss off too many spirits?]

They don't need to know every myth, boys. [She's mostly recovered from that giggle fit, though she's still grinning.]

So, we hope you'll come to us with any questions you may have, and go ahead and start believing again!

[And so the feed ends, with a bit offended Jack exclaiming at Sandy-] Well, excuse a guy for having some fun!

Comments

action.

[firstbeliever]

[Okay, he had to cover his mouth with one hand to keep himself from laughing at one point during the Guardian Show but now that he's not recording, Jamie doubles over in laughter. It keeps going and he ends up on his back, rolling around on the ground.]

action.

[memoriesinivory]

[ Tooth can't help it - she bursts out laughing again, too. ]

Oh, that was such a mess!

video

[iin2ufferable]

[ Wow that's a lot of words. He didn't listen to like 90% of it, mostly because it meant absolutely nothing. ]

What the fuck is a Sandy Claws?

video

[2cool4guardian]

[Jack squints his eyes at first. Oh, another of those trolls. Now he regrets not mentioning the big, dumb version they have in his world. Equius reaction to it was fun for sure.]

Santa Claus is the guy that visits children during Christmas time. Gives them gifts if they've been nice and coal if they've been naughty.

video

[morethanadream]

[Sandy will cheerfully flip to a more detailed portrait of North and show it to the camera.

It seems like his fellow Guardians have explained what North likes to do for him.]

[littlesurvivor]

Santa has tattoos and yetis? What about the reindeer?

[And uh. Lets not talk about flossing Tooth. Clem did not really have that as a priority when running from walkers and trying to find her parents back home okay. :l She will say hi when she is not so. Distracted by all this information gosh Jack.]

....Mermaids?!

[memoriesinivory]

[ No worries, Miss Clem, Tooth wouldn't fault you for less-than-stellar dental hygiene in the situation you were in - you had MUCH bigger problems on your hands. ]

He does! And he has reindeer and everything.

[ Aw, so cute! ]

Yes, mermaids! They're a little unpredictable sometimes, but they're very very real.

[madcuriosity]

[Alice is in a fit of giggles at Sandy's drawings and is still giggling the whole way through. It takes her several moments to catch her breath when Sandy stops flipping and all of them stop talking.]

GOODNESS! [She wiped her eyes, smiling bright.] Jack, it's a good thing you've never upset a dragon... or has Sandy merely not drawn that?

Oh but! Now I can ask! Miss Tooth! What is flossing? [Because Alice is from 1865, flossing was not a widely known thing yet. Though she does brush her teeth twice a day! But she didn't want to disappoint any of the guardians.]

[memoriesinivory]

Oh! [ Tooth brightens - she does love people with a concern for their dental health ] Flossing is when you take a special kind of treated string and pop it between your teeth to help get food and plaque out from between them, to help keep you from getting cavities or toothaches. I can find some for you and show you how.

[Video]

[tonsofpun]

Can I just say -- Santa Claus looks like a complete badass?

[Video]

[morethanadream]

[Sandy nods sagely and quickly draws a picture of North wielding his two swords, cheerfully cutting through hordes of black, shiny horses with a laugh.

Yep, Santa's a complete badass, not gonna lie.]

video;

[servesthehuman]

[Owen is just peachy keen with all of the guardians. And...he just has to ask.]

I must ask: what about beings that aren't traditionally considered fairy tales and more considered myth? For instance, what of beings such as golems, the Minotaur and Oberon?

video;

[firstbeliever]

[Uhhhh...that's not a question Jamie can answer.]

That would be a question for the Guardians.

[Video]

[in_loveless_memory]

[He's more keen to watch Tooth and Sandy more than Jack. Mostly because they look different from actual people and Jack only has pale skin and silver hair. His ears perk as he only idly listens.]

The wings are beautiful... [He mumbles, watching Tooth but speaking to himself. He really wants to photograph her, to remember her. His ears bend back.]

So what about the darker, once human creatures? [May as well ask.] Vampires and werewolves?

[Video]

[firstbeliever]

[Ritsuka! Have a lovely view of Jamie laying on the floor with a pillow on his head. Thanks pillow war.]

No one's seen them - or they talk about seeing one and don't really have any proof. Like Bigfoot.

video

[subecho]

...must my name be dragged into this?

Re: video

[memoriesinivory]

I'm sorry, Jack's a little... Jack. [ She smiles apologetically ] I do hear you can drink quite a lot, though, so I can see why he'd mention you.

[Video]

[saving_sound]

[Hibiki just kind of stares in awe.]

We don't have nearly so many stories in my world...!

[Video]

[firstbeliever]

But you have all those stories about demons, right Hibiki?

[voice]

[trust_us]

[There is omeone here that has never heard of these people or flossing.]

You couldn't have existed in our world. None of you.

And what's flossing?

[Sorry, she finds it hard to believe there was a Guardian of Fun in her world. Mostly because every kid was starving or in the military. And personal hygiene is not the biggest issue when you're trying to not get eaten, either.]

[voice]

[firstbeliever]

Kids have to believe in them for them to exist. That's kinda how it works.

[And it's sad that it has to be that way.]

[As for the flossing, Jamie will leave that to the expert.]

[necrowmantic]

Eh... but I've never heard of any of you guys. Obviously you exist in your world, 'cause you showed up here, but that doesn't mean a thing for the rest of us.

[firstbeliever]

They exist here now too, since they got dragged in. And they didn't say they existed in every world.

[Video]

[builtbykillers]

Listen to your friend in feathers, boy. Call yourself what you like but it don't make it true, or I'm Bran the bloody Builder back from the dead.

[Video]

[firstbeliever]

It is true. They just might not exist where you're from but they do exist somewhere.

private voice;

[discrepant]

[The Guardian's public network will leave Soushi listening to most of it, but not all. He does not particularly care for the relationship and idle conversations between them. What was important was to know who they were, so he was not caught off guard.

Once the introductions were over, though, he was close to closing the feed until he heard the news in wishing to reveal the truth of all supernatural elements which will have Soushi feeling rather peeved over. Jack, you better not mention his name to anyone over his kind.]

Thank you very much for the kind public service announcement. It is very kind of you to introduce yourselves and shed some light over the supernatural.

[But.]

I do not believe it is wise to reveal the secrets of those from your world that are not currently present in this one to do so. There are supernatural creatures from other worlds currently present in this one. Some live in secrecy, and most prefer to continue to live as such. Just like your world holds its own rules, their world might hold a different set of their own. What would happen if their lives will be in greater danger by revealing the existence of those creatures?

[He needs to make certain his name never appears as...the thought of everyone knowing more about him does not sit well with him. Especially when it came to other human beings. As diverse and accepting Asgard is, he does not want any part of it.

After a moment, his tone will become gentle as he decides to say in a apologetic tone.]

...I apologize if I cross the line by speaking out of term over such matters.

private voice;

[2cool4guardian]

[Oh boy, look who it is. Jack sighs. Seriously, Soushi, what is he supposed to do with you? And those answers? At least this time he actually is being bothered by something, it seems. Maybe things will be a little less... dull.]

The -how did it go again?- "supernatural creatures from other worlds currently present in this one" aren't being talked about, so I don't see why they need to worry. It's not like talking about powers and abilities change a lot here of all places.

Video

[izanyagi]

I never would have thought Santa Claus would look like that but--

[OKAY LET'S BE REAL AND WHAT'S ON SOUJI'S MIND RIGHT NOW before he actually gets serious.]

--You're Jack Frost? In my world, you look nothing like the Jack Frost I know...

[Give him a minute before he quickly sketches out something a little similar to this, but with a lot rougher lines, and then holds it up for them to see. Look at the tooth fangy grin and boots awww aren't you glad that's how he knows a version of you?]

Video

[firstbeliever]

[Don't mind this little boy rolling on the floor laughing.]

He looks like a snowman jester!

[video]

[dragonconqueror]

[Okay, he sat through that but]

What in Thor's name is a Santa Clause and an Easter Bunny?

[The important questions.]

[video]

[firstbeliever]

Santa Claus is a big jolly guy who brings gifts to all the good kids of the world who believe in him during winter and the Easter Bunny is this tall bunny that stands upright and leaves eggs hidden for kids to find them in spring.

video.

[hereticing]

[ oh hey jack he remembers you. ]

I've never heard of any of those people!

video.

[2cool4guardian]

Then you're probably not from the same world as us. But ask Sandy or Tooth, maybe they've met the guy with your name.

video.

[floridus]

[Sumia is... astounded? That might not be the right turn, but nevertheless she takes in the whole message and the images with wonder, even laughing softly every so often at the antics.]

I must say, I haven't heard of any of that before in my world.

video.

[2cool4guardian]

[Sumia's laughter is cute and not mocking, so she gets a pass.]

Yeeeeeeah, this was more for the people of our world still in denial. But you must have some myths in your world too, right?

video

[hasleveledup]

[With all the strange stuff that Junpei has experienced in the last year or so...this is pretty darn amazing. His face lights up.]

Holy...that's awesome! Definitely not what I was expecting you all to look like, but that just makes it more believable! You're tellin' us all this in case something bad goes down, right? Like we have to save Christmas or something?

[It's just like the holiday specials on TV! ...Maybe.]

video

[2cool4guardian]

[...you. Jack likes you already. Akihiko was right to think this would be a dangerous meeting.]

Now THAT'S the spirit! You know, they don't even have Christmas here, but we're thinking of starting a thing of our own.

[audio]

[dicey]

... I've never heard of any of that stuff.

[audio]

[firstbeliever]

There seems to be a lot of that and it makes sense considering we're all from different worlds.

video;

[digophelia]

I have figured as much... with Sandy and all.

video;

[firstbeliever]

You know Sandy?

[Hi Alice! It's little Alice's not-boyfriend.]

video;

[truesight]

[ after all of that, Rachel actually looks a little bit... wistful ]

It all sounds much more magical when it's coming from you guys. My world has a bit of "those stories you've heard? they're real." going on, but it's not- this stuff. This is awesome, my world is mostly- scary stuff.

[ okay she's like having a mental flashback moment, feeling like a kid again, terrified of the monsters she could see that nobody else could. if only these guys really were real, in her world... but nah. so she's stuck between looking really interested and a tiny bit bummed out. it's a weird combo. ]

But you said you're Guardians? What does that mean, exactly, I mean, what do you --guard?

video;

[memoriesinivory]

That's too bad. [ Tooth looks genuinely sad for her. ] Some of the bad things exist in our world, too, but a lot of good outweighs that.

We are the Guardians of Childhood. We protect children, and the things that are important to childhood. Memories, wonder, hopes, dreams. And fun. [ she glances off camera with a grin - grinning at Jack, though Rachel wouldn't know that ] These days, we don't need to fight as often, just do our duties. Collecting teeth, for me. But we also fight against anything that would harm children or take those things we bring to them away.

[ video ]

[pratentious]

[ wow such post very information wow what a good.

but there's just one thing. just one. ]

You're the - Tooth Fairy?

[ yeah, that's all he got from this. sorry. ]

[ video ]

[memoriesinivory]

[ Wow, Arthur. very attentive such smart.

Tooth just smiles cheerfully at him. ]

That's right!