1st Memory [Video]

[in_loveless_memory]

[Ritsuka rubs at his eyes. Around him are a serious amount of books all checked out from the library. His ears are bent down, his tail swishing.]

How typical are those... things like the Gentleman in this place? And don't give me the "we're in the war, expect dangers."

[Ritsuka had gone camping which had been a mistake as he was still picking dirt out of his tail. But apparently staying here would have been a worse offer. He has so many questions about this place he's been dragged to. He rubs at his eyes, wishing his glasses had come with him to this world. He wondered if they had an optometrist.]

Comments

[Video]

[in_loveless_memory]

I'm 12, Doctor-san.

[And he's this cynical.]

[Video]

[beforethewar]

[It's absolutely tragic, in his mind.]

And you've given up so soon? Do you have such little faith in yourself that you don't think that, in all those years you have ahead of you, you can't create something good in your life?

Part of your problem is that you're looking at all of this from the wrong angle. You're looking at it from a perspective of hope being instilled in other people. Life will never get better because the people around you will disappoint you. Of course, this is natural for someone your age. Children base their hopes and dreams on what the adults around them can do for them. Nothing wrong with that.

But...try to think of it another way. Stop expecting other people to do right by you, and instead have hope in your own ability to pull yourself up and take charge of your life. I know, it's not exactly a great thing to expect a child to do, but it doesn't certainly living a completely cynical life where you don't believe in anything or anyone.

[Video]

[in_loveless_memory]

[His eyes narrow as he listens. Given up? Given UP! What did this man know about him? About his life and the things he dealt with? His ears pressed back and he just listened, hands clenching into fists.

This man was trying to preach to him, about how it gets "better," when everything around him suggests it only ever gets worse.]

You're completely wrong. [He offers little else on the "how." Ritsuka doesn't say much, he's never been one for speeches. He doesn't go on a tirade about how the Doctor doesn't know what he's asking Ritsuka to do, what life he's asking him to have hope in. He doesn't rant about how the Doctor just assumed he knew what was going on in Ritsuka's life, giving himself the authority to comment on it.

And Ritsuka instinctively, protectively, closed off from it.

And inevitably, as near everyone he knows does or did, the Doctor will eventually give up on him, because Ritsuka is never "worth it" to many, which suits him fine.]

You're wrong about me.

[And he hangs up, having little stomach for more about how he should have hope of all things when that's all he can cling to nowadays only to have it shatter again and again.]