asgardeventide | Video | Suddenly the night has grown colder

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Video | Suddenly the night has grown colder

[ The video feed opens, showing a tired looking Yuui slumped against a wall, giving the clear impression that without the support he would most likely be falling to the ground right about now. He does his best to smile but it’s not hard to see the signs of barely repressed panic hidden in the tightness around his mouth and eyes, or in the way he forces his breathing to stay almost unnaturally measured and even.]

Hello. I- ah, I must admit I’m not quite sure if I’m fully ready to accept this whole alien kidnapping thing yet. But on the off chance that this is not some kind of elaborate prank that’s been taken way too far, my name is Yuui. [He bows slightly at the camera, the action more of a reflex than anything else.] Yuui Flourite.

[He hesitates for a moment before pressing on.]

Also, I must admit I don’t think I’ve ever been handpicked by a deity before, so I’m not quite sure how this is supposed to work, even with the nice guide I was given. So I was wondering if anyone has seen my brother around here somewhere? His name is Fai, and we’re twins so if you see this you should be able to recognize him. Only his hair is a bit shorter, going up to about here, [He raises one hand to indicate the area between his shoulder and his jaw.] and he’s a bit more, well, expressive than I am. I don’t know how likely it is for him to have been brought as well, but if he has I really need to find him. [There’s a sense of urgency in his voice and his smile betrays his worry even more than his words does.] And Fai, if you hear this, don’t worry okay. Just stay where you are and I’ll come and find you. I promise.

Ah- I suppose that’s it. Thank you for- for listening to me. [He lingers for a moment, a bit uncertain on how to properly end something like this, before closing the feed with a quick, determined gesture.]

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[Oh! Jamie's dwelt with twins before. He has a couple that are his friends and he looks all too happy to help Yuui and Fai find each other.]

I've seen him! Just the other day over the bracelets.

And the alien kidnapping thing is true but some of them are pretty nice.

Edited (what is html today?) 2013-10-13 22:40 (UTC)

You have? [He brightens considerably, the weariness falling off him at the news. If Fai is here then there's no time for him to be tired.] Oh, that's a relief. Or maybe not, since that would mean he's been kidnapped as well, but I think I'll deal with that later. First, I have to find him.

[His smile softens when he gets a closer look on who he's talking to. He really hadn't expected to see any kids here.]

Thank you, that's very good to know. Did- did they bring you here to?

Yeah! I even talked to him. [Oh good, that seems to have cheered Yuui up.] But you guys are kidnapped together, that should make things easier.

[Jamie nods.]

A few days ago. So far this place doesn't seem that bad.

That's true. He'd probably be worried sick if I just disappeared and he didn't know where I was. It just feels like a strange thing to be happy about. [A beat] How did he seem, when you talked to him?

[Well, there went the hope of the gods having enough morals to not kidnap small children]

I suppose. It's just, you're a bit young to have this kind of thing happening to you.

He did say that his traveling companions were missing. I bet he'll be happy to see you no matter where you are. [Jack was happy when Jamie showed up.] Very nice. We're going to share stories one day when he's settled in more.

[Yeah but Jamie's got people to look after him.]

I think Alice is younger than I am but there are a few other kids around here. Someone has to play with the kids of Asgard to make them better.

[That sounds a bit weird, but then again it's Fai so weird is pretty much what you should come to expect.] Lucky you. He's very good with stories. When we were kids and didn't want to go to sleep I used to read him books and he used make up stories for me. [Actually, they still do it from time to time.] He didn't happen to mention which house he ended up with, did he?

[Somehow knowing that there are more kids does not make Yuui feel any better about this.]

That's very sweet of you, but that doesn't make what they did right. Do you have anyone here who can look after you?

[Jamie can't help but grin.] I do that with Sophie sometimes, though she's not good at reading or talking yet. [So it's pretty much one-sided.] Sorry, no. But I bet he can see this and you'll be reunited in no time.

[Most people don't seem happy that there are kids here.]

Guess not but I would have helped if they'd asked. [Because he's that kind of kid. Jamie nods.] Yeah! I'm living with Jack and Sandy.

Mm, I think I'll just stay here and see what happens a little longer then. [Jamie's grin is infectious and Yuui can feel his own smile widen.] Sophie's your little sister?

[Oh, but this kid is just precious!]

You're a good kid. You remind me a bit of some of my students back home. So I'm glad you have someone here with you. [If he could he would ruffle your hair, Jamie.] Do they come from the same place you do?

If you don't find him I can help you look. [Another nod.] Yep. She's my only other sibling.

[Oh, that gets Jamie curious.]

You were a teacher? What did you teach? [People seem fond of doing that to him.] Yeah, we're from the same world.

Thank you, I appreciate it. [He's starting to get a bit restless, but talking to Jamie is enough to keep him from panicking again. At least for now.] Is it fun? Having a little sister. I never had any other siblings besides Fai, but I've heard they can be a bit of a pain sometimes. [His voice turns a little bit teasing at the last part.]

Home economics, with some extra voluntary courses in cooking for the older students.[That's probably because he's such a darling, he only has himself to blame really.] Oh, that's good to hear. You seem to be taking this whole thing pretty well. Much better than I am.

[His numb fingers activate the feed without any real thought or purpose behind it at all, other than that his mind is currently completely blank and screaming in panic at the same time, and some sort of instinct must simply be prompting him to do something. Anything really. And then it's too late, of course, though he instantly regrets the action.

Neither of them had met another version of themselves in another world. Friends and relatives, yes, but no other Kurogane or Sakura, nothing like that. Now he wondered distantly, as his mind fused together into a red-hot and heavy lump, if this was because Yuuko or the other one had meddled. Or maybe Mokona had been created to steer clear of such complications, he couldn't tell.

But this person's name was Yuui, and that must mean he really was another him. Another Yuui, who- who had his Fai. In the midst of relief and grief, shame and horrible jealousy, it was hard to find any emotion to really latch on to, leaving him soundless and breathless, opening and shutting his mouth a few times without managing to produce anything beyond a few choked little noises. His skin had if possible grown even paler with his transformation, paler still from lack of blood, but now it was near transparent.

And then, with a strangled sound barely short of a sob, he slammed his hand onto the panel and terminated the feed.]

[For a moment Yuui just stares, completely immobilized by confusion and shock. Then he scrambles to get the feed to connect again, his mind racing, running through scenario after horrible scenario of what might have happened to put Fai in such a state that he couldn't even talk to him. Hell, he hadn't even been able to look at him, and the mere thought of it is enough to chill Yuui to the bones.

In the back on his mind there's something nagging at him, something that hadn't been quite right, apart from the obvious distress but he ignored it for now. Whatever it was, finding Fai again was more important. Everything else could wait.]

Fai! Fai!? Where are you? What's wrong? Are you- [His voice breaks and he fights to compose himself. He can't panic, not like this, not until Fai is with him and he can be sure he's safe.] Are you hurt? Did something happen. [Well, they had been kidnapped by aliens.] Just- Just talk to me okay. I can fix this. We can fix this. Just come back on. Please?

Edited 2013-10-15 16:03 (UTC)

[Even in the midst of panic, there is a horrible twinge of guilt there. This version of him hasn't lost his Fai, this version must be worried sick about him, and he'd gone and made everything even worse now. He doesn't want to switch on the feed, doesn't want to talk to a Yuui who never made the wrong choice - that probably never had to chose at all. A Yuui who never sacrificed his most precious thing.

But at the same time, he has to. He was stupid enough to show his face, stupid enough to scare someone who was only worried for his twin, and now it's his responsibility to fix it. His fault if he doesn't.

So with a trembling finger he activates the feed once more, still looking sick and jarred, but his voice is at the same time way too calm, and a bit too expressionless too.]

I'm sorry, but I'm not your Fai. I'm suspecting he isn't here at all. I know this might be hard for you to believe, but... I'm from a different universe than yours altogether, and I've never seen you before in my life. I'm sorry to have scared you. [And perhaps Yuui can notice the small differences now. The eye patch, the longer hair, the yellow eye.]

[He can't believe it at first, the whole things sounding like some very bad joke, and a burst of incredulous laughter, laced with panic, erupts from within him before he can shove it back down. ]

What? No. No that's im-possible

[His voice trails of as that nagging feeling in the back of his mind makes itself heard again and the obvious differences between this man and Fai hits like a slap to the face, and he can feel how the whole world around him begins to spin.]

I- I think I need to sit down.

{His voice sounds weak even to his own ears, and he slides to the ground as his legs folds beneath him, no longer able to hold the weight of everything crashing down around him, his head falling back against the wall behind him with a soft thud.] Who are you? [His face is completely open, every emotion exposed, and he looks a bit broken, overwhelmed and so very, very lost.]

[There's another stab of guilt, keener and more urgent this time. Memories open and close like flowers, spreading the scent of decay and loss around them. He's clutching Fai's hand in his, warm and real and the most important thing in all of the world, a moment before they are torn apart. He holds the broken, bleeding remains of his twin, lifeless like a dummy, impossibly heavy for something so frail. He dips his fingers into icy cold water and sees the crystal coffin far below.

All of that is held within this other Yuui's voice, and yet it is also strange and different, another kind of pain. His loss isn't unfixable.]

I'm... I'm you. Sort of. I'm another version of you from another universe. We have the same souls, but different lives. [And you have a twin.]

[The world is still spinning, and he doesn't think he'll have the strength to stand up any time soon but by just sitting there, focusing on keeping his breathing deep and even, listen to Fai's words, to the voice that sounds more like his really but still close enough to Fai's to be soothing, he's slowly able to put some of the pieces of his mind and sanity back together again. He's silent for a long while after Fai has stopped talking, working the words over in his head while he forces the world around him to become steady again. When he finally opens his mouth to speak, his voice has gone hoarse and brittle, but it's also calmer and he looks at Fai without flinching away.]

So it's some kind of reincarnation kind of thing? Like, you're me in a previous life. Or vice versa. [He takes in Fai's eyepatch, the strange, golden colour of his remaining eye and the pain that seems almost etched into his very being.] Looks like I got the better end of the deal. [He winces, his expression turning apologetic.] Sorry. That was probably a bit rude.

[Fai nods cautiously, feeling uncomfortable with the other's eyes on him, like a judgement over everything his life has become. It doesn't matter that this Yuui doesn't know what he's done, what he is; all that really matters is that he's clearly not the kind of person that has seen death so often that it's become like a living part of him. If Fai only knew it, just the fact that Yuui is sitting there surrounded by Sigyn's colors and not Hel's is proof enough.]

Yes, exactly. It is quite possible that there are countless worlds out there, but I think only a finite amount of souls, which constantly travel from one life to the next, holding all of these worlds together. [A wry little smile, much sharper than anything Yuui will have seen on either his own or his Fai's face.] And you don't have to apologize. I hope very much that you're right, Yuui. [The way he says the word is strange; it sounds completely unused in his mouth.]

[He's not really sure what to think about that last statement, or the strange smile that came with it, but it makes something twist a little bit inside him.] Ah, shouldn't that be even more reason for me to apologize? Or... I don't know. I can't say I really know the etiquette for this kind of thing. So sorry for saying sorry, maybe? [It's a weak attempt to lighten the atmosphere but it's the best he's got.]

[Then his thoughts turn back to the subject of rebirth and the fact that he's talking with another version of himself and the fact that this still makes his head spin quite a bit.]

It's not a completely uncomfortable thought though. Once you've gotten a bit used to it staring you in the face. [He lets out a soft, nervous little laugh.] I mean, the thought of being reborn with the people you love. It's kind of nice in a way, right? Then again, there must be quite a large number of souls and who's to say that you'll always be making the same connections. [A pause.] Boy, you must live in a real interesting place for you to just know all of this.

[He hesitates for a moment, teeth worrying on his bottom lip.] But you said you weren't my Fai. So... [So this Yuui also knew a Fai. And since the two of them still looked the same, and he and Fai were identical twins, his Fai must also look like them. Meaning...] So there's a chance we're always reborn as twins?

[And that goes through every defense, drops like a knife through his head and splits his heart down the middle as softly and quietly as a sigh. There isn't a smile in the world that can hide flood of hot, painful emotions that come welling out of the wound left behind, nothing to shield him from Yuui's inevitable understanding, so Fai doesn't even try. He just looks down, ancient grief etched in every feature, and replies in a voice that is completely altered. It's no longer the numb, empty voice from before, but perhaps more like the strained whisper of a frightened child trying to hide, sounding strange and alien when it comes from a grown man.]

Yes, I believe that Fai and Yuui are born together as twins in every life. There are... rules. Bonds. Some souls will always find each other, no matter what. It's part of hitzusen, the inevitable. [He doesn't look up, and the words sound a bit as if they're pulled out of him against his will.] Fai and Yuui are always twins. But what happens after depends on the world.

[Yuui stares, horrified at the pain he's managed to cause and feeling utterly helpless because there's nothing he can do to help. Not when he's sitting here, god knows how many miles apart, looking into a screen whilst trying to find the words that might help soothe the pain unfurling before him, even if it's just for a little while. Because while they've never met before, there's still no way Yuui can think of him as just a stranger.]

Something bad happened to you, didn't it. [A beat. A breath. A soft exhale as everything falls into place and he understands.] And something bad happened to Fai.

[There's only one reason for that endless grief in Fai's eyes, the traces of which he remembers he's already seen now when he knows what to look for, carefully hidden behind a voice that had been too calm and in the sharp edges of a smile. And he can't- He just can't. The only thing he has to compare being the fear from when Fai fell out of their treehouse and broke his arm when there were kids.] I'm- [His eyes are filling up with tears and he doesn't know why. It's not his twin that's gone, a knowledge that fills him with relief, and then with just as much revulsion for feeling such a thing in the first place.] I'm sorry. Whatever happened, I'm so sorry.

I- This is selfish, and I'll understand if you'd rather not, but... could I see you?

Don't be. It wasn't your fault he died.

[It's flat and listless, but there is still just the slightest inflection at "your" if one knows to look for it. Because while this Yuui is another version of him, it would be unfair to let him carry even a fraction of the guilt that is Fai's alone to carry. Unless he'd spoken the words "Let Yuui live" himself, Fai so very desperately wanted him not to feel bad over what had happened, though he knows that's pointless. Perhaps he's just selfishly wishing for a world where he would never have to feel any guilt over his twin.]

[Perhaps. It seems likely.]

[And he wants to say no and yes all at once, wants to run away and never again have to deal with seeing all that horrible compassion and understanding, never have to see the echo of his own pain in Yuui's eyes. But at the same time, he is almost desperate to see this other him, a version which isn't broken or twisted or foul like him; for the comfort, maybe even redemption, of seeing that he isn't meant to be this creature that is empty and full of too much anger and loss all at once. That somewhere, twins weren't cursed neither was he.]

[In the end, it's this instinct that wins out.]

Yes, I- I think we should meet. This place has taken much of my power, but I'm probably still faster than you. I'll come to where you are, wait for me outside. [And with that, he terminates the feed.]

[And Yuui can't say much to that, because while it's true it also doesn't change the way he feels. And in the end what he feels on the matter is not what's important right now. Whatever pain or sorrow he may feel it's just a shadow of what Fai has had to go through. And there's something else, something with how he said those words that worries Yuui, nothing real, nothing concrete, just a feeling nagging in the back of his mind. But it's all too much, and everything that's happened since he arrived here is still too new, and he needs time. Both of them do. So all he can do now is hope that Fai will want to see him too, will allow there to be time and the possibility of closeness between them.]

Thank you. I'll stay close to the welcoming hell.

[And then there's nothing left to do but to wait. Taking a deep breath he allows himself a few minutes of quiet meltdown, his legs drawn up as close as he can and carefully hiding his face against his knees so that no one will see his tears. Then he slowly unravels himself, focusing on making himself presentable and by the time Fai arrives he's sitting on a bench close to the welcome hall with a pensive but calm expression, a bit of red and a slight puffiness around the eyes the only signs left of his previous distress.]

[He's not used still to this weakened body, isn't used to pacing himself, but he nonetheless manages to get there very quickly. Perhaps part of the reason behind that is that he's running so very fast to give himself as little time as possible to change his mind. Very possibly so. The result, however, is the same in the end, and before long he can see a house much like the one where he'd resided come into view, and he slows down to catch his breath. But he never stops, keeps walking toward the figure sitting outside, his complete copy in just about everything except for the eyes; that and... something else.

His steps start to grow halting. There is something off with the other man, and indescribable feeling, not like sensing magic or auras or anything like that, but there all the same. He's- He isn't-

And that's when understanding finally sinks in, just as he stops in front of Yuui, bringing a horrible weight with it. He finds himself numbly dropping to his knees, a jarring jolt that should probably hurt but doesn't, because the world is spinning around his shaking hand, reaching out to touch the others' face. Warmth under his fingertips, widened blue eyes staring into his, the softness of breath brushing against his hand.]

I was wrong. [The words come out as a whisper, as if there is barely any breath left in him for them.] You're not me. You- You're another version of Fai. I don't know how- I don't- Our names are... But you're not me. I know that.

[Yuui wasn't sure what he expected to happen when Fai finally arrived, in fact he had done is best not to think of it too much, but whatever scenarios he might have been able to conjure up, this one would never have entered his mind. But there Fai was, visibly shaken and pale, his fingers soft as they met his cheek and all Yuui could do was to sit there, eyes widening in surprise, his breath coming out in short, soft bursts. During their relatively short conversation things had been extremely emotional, and in that things had also been a bit awkward, and so this development was a bit surprising. But not as surprising as the explanation behind it.

It takes a while for the words to properly sink it, and even longer for his him to fully accept them, and even then he's not sure if he can get then to make sense.]

I don't understand.

[Except maybe he does. The person kneeling in front of him, for all that they're the same, doesn't really look like the Fai he knows, not with the longer hair and strange eyes and, even more importantly, he's far too full of grief and walls and pain to be anything like Yuui's happy go-lucky brother. But even with all that he still feels right, and when Yuui closes his eyes and leans into this person's hand it still feels like home.]

If we're both Yuui then how can I be- How can you be- [His breath stutters and he opens his eyes again as if that will bring him more clarity.] How can you be sure?

I'm sure.

[That's all he can manage to say for quite a while, as he stares at his own features perfectly mimicked, his own eyes looking so soft and yet so strong. This is what his twin would have looked like, had he been allowed the life he deserved, had he grown up to be a man in Ashura's care instead of his brother. His heart contracts painfully at the thought, pressing againt his lungs, making it hard to breathe. He's so very beautiful, so very perfect, and what is Fai compared to him? He's nothing, he's flawed, he's nothing but a twisted joke of a person.

And still there is simple and unerring affection in the way he leans into Fai's touch, as if it comes quite naturally to them despite being from different places, having had different lives.]

I can feel... it's hard to explain, but I- I'll always be able to recognize what my brother feels like. Always. [His breath catches when he tries to regain it, stuttering and turning into a gasp before he manages to control it.] I guess... since I've gone by the name of Fai since- [A twitch of an expression that betrays far too much.] -since I was a child, maybe our names got... switched.

Edited 2013-11-12 16:22 (UTC)

You took my name when I- [He doesn't want to say the word, more for Fai's sake than his own and they both know what he means anyway.] That's... [Possibly not very healthy.] sweet.

I suppose that makes sense. If I didn't get to be very old chances are that I used your name more than I did mine anyway, and in a sense it was probably more important to me than my own name was. [He and Fai had both learned to say each others names before they managed to say their own.] And if you've used it for so long, it's probably not that strange that they got changed up along the way.

[He smiles a bit, rubbing his cheek against Fai's hand in an unconscious gesture.]

And I think I know what you mean. I can't really explain it either, how I could possibly know, but you feel like him. Like you're mine. [He laughs a bit self consciously.]That probably sounds horribly possessive of me, but it's the best way I have of describing it. A sense of belonging perhaps would be a better way of putting it. [Another laugh, very much like the first.] It's a bit strange.

[And if things were strange for him, it must be even worse for Fai. Having first to have to learn how to live without his twin for so long, and then suddenly have him back, only not really. Yuui can't even begin to imagine what that might feel like. He leans forward a bit and reaches out his hand to touch Fai's cheek, mirroring his earlier movements.]

I'm sorry. Seeing me must open up some very painful wounds for you. You must have been so lonely. [The last part is nothing more than a whisper, barely audible, and he places his free hand on top of Fai's, squeezing lightly.]

You- He kept saying my name. [Because when both lungs and voice were run ragged and you have very little strength still in you, and nothing to say that you don't already know... just a name was quite enough.]

[It's hard to look at Yuui and try to fit his image into the memory of a hand in his, a hint of a white face behind bars, a broken body growing cold. Because this isn't his twin, isn't the person who had suffered with him in that place, who knew the pain of separation and longing and endless shame. This person had grown up together with his twin, had been able to be held when he was sad or scared, had never had to think too hard about what life would be without, that much is clear from his reactions.]

[But... he has his twin's soul. There's a living piece of him here, right in front of him, and that's more than Fai has been able to dream of having for so long now. He drinks up his touch like parched and cracked earth soaking up water, leaning into it and feeling his body start to shake as the coil of tension within him snaps into a thousand shards.]

You feel... safe. [Safe where nothing else is, safe to love and to cherish after years of self-denial.] Please don't- please, you- don't apologize. Please. I'm happy that- I'm not- I am lonely. But seeing you... I know I won't always be.

[ Ah, twins. That explains the striking similarity. He should have figured. ]

He's here. That is, if you're from the same reality.

[ Pause. ]

Are you hurt?

[Yuui blinks. Was that some kind of trick question?]

Ah, well- He's my twin so... I'm pretty sure we are?

[He tries to smile but it still ends up much to strained.]

And no, I'm not hurt. Thank you. I'm just- I'm just feeling a bit confused. [The 'a bit' part is something of an understatement.]

Edited (What are words) 2013-10-15 16:16 (UTC)

You look more than a bit confused.

[A short laugh.]

Yes, well. This kind of thing it's- it's not even supposed to be able to happen. At least not where I'm from. I mean, different worlds? [He makes a small, helpless gesture.] It's all just a lot to take in.

Ah. Well, got to start somewhere.

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Video | Suddenly the night has grown colder

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AHAHAH keywords pls

It knows!

YEP. They still do ahahah sob.

At least they're keeping the same theme?

Sadly Cohen is good at expressing Fai's... Fainess.

He does a very good "beautiful disaster"

Yep, which is. very appropriate for this idiot sob.

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