asgardeventide | video; i made an icon for the occasion.

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video; i made an icon for the occasion.

[ I'm sorry, Asgard. I know you're in the middle of something incredibly serious right now, but Ash has only just woken up from his week-long nap. He has no idea what's going on. In fact, he doesn't even seem to realize that his communicator is on and filming him as he stirs from the pool table in the Roadhouse and cracks his back with a grunt.

Let's take a look at our sleeping beauty: His glorious mullet has been dyed rainbow colors, a Freddie Merrcury 'stache has been drawn in sharpie on his lip, and someone's put some very stylish aviators on him. The vision of loveliness. As he sits up and grabs for his communicator, he finally sees himself. ]

Oh, man. Talk about the rockstar look. [ Flashing a quick, exhausted sign of the horns 4 u all right here. ] Must've been out of it. Pretty cool look, though. Might keep it for awhile.

So, catch me up, Asgard. Give me deaths, invasions, arrivals, who won the Super Bowl. Anything you've got, Dr. Badass is here to listen.

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[Blank staring.

Just blank. Staring.

Owen adjusts his glasses as if that will make the rainbow mullet-haired whatever go away.

It doesn't. Drat.]

I'm afraid you woke up at a rather inopportune time. [that's putting it mildly.]

[ Sorry, Owen. He's an unassuming genius, if that makes you feel any better. He just doesn't give a single fuck about anything. ]

Oh, yeah? Don't leave me hanging, man. Fill me in.

For the past month or so, we all have been plagued by hallucinations, nightmares and temporary states of sleepwalking. In the past week, they have escalated to the point of physical harm or death.

[said in a very nonplussed tone but with an air of 'dude, what is your problem.']

You don't say. [ He doesn't seem particularly surprised. This is Asgard, after all. Shit goes down all the time. ] Whose doing was all of that?

Thiazi, I believe.

Damn. What's got her so riled up? No one's told her this place is like Disney Land?

I'm curious to know, how exactly is this place like Disney Land? [because he's not seeing it, bro.]

You know. Lots of little lands packed into one big one. Maybe a bit of anti-antisemitism. Disney Land.

I see. [No he doesn't.]

You might wish to scrub off that mustache, by the way.

Scrub it off? Really? [ Color him surprised. ] I sort of dig it.

[Owen's tone is sarcastic and dry enough that it might as well be a desert. Your mustache looks stupid, Ash.] If you insist.

[ Ash is cool with it. His idea of personal beauty isn't the norm. He will sport that sharpie moustache for as long as he pleases. ] Now you're talkin'.

[Owen is a suit and tie man. He will just stay away from Ash when it comes to fashion.] Pardon me for asking, but how come you do not know what's going on? Everybody here has been affected.

[he's not saying 'are you just that stupid' but boy is he thinking it.]

[ Come on, Owen. You wanna try the Skynyrd groupie look at some point, right? ]

Ah, see, good explanation. I've kinda been out of it for the past week. Believe me, man, this is a great look, but it wouldn't be my own choice.

[ Hell to the no, buddy. ]

What do you mean by 'out of it?'

[ You could try it. Cut loose just once. ]

Well, you know. Asleep. Out cold. Snoring away.

You slept for a week.

[This is CLEARLY the face of someone who thinks you're a goddamn idiot and is too polite to say so, Ash.]

It ain't a big deal.

[ Well, he is an idiot. But he's also a genius. He's a walking contradiction. ]

If you say so.

Look who finally came around. Me and Jo were both worried sick. [O b v i o u s l y.] You made it just in time for shit to hit the fan.

Aw, man, sure sounds like it. So, the moustache. [ He just grins, because Ash is never angry about anything. ] Your work, or Winchester 2.0's?

[Dean's smiling all the way up to Ash's last comment and suddenly it fixes itself into a frown.] You really think Sam'd be up for that? [Sam wasn't the type to mess around. Not lately.] Nah, it was me. I walked in and saw your hair and figured I'd add a little class to the ensemble.

Sure. He's gotta cut loose eventually. Can't go the rest of his life only drinking water and diet soda. [ He's suggesting you get him drunk, Dean. Then he'll loosen up. ] It's a good look, man. Always admired Freddie Mercury for the 'stache.

Yeah, you go ahead and give it a shot. [Dean thinks Sam'd be a pretty depressing drunk right now.] Be careful gettin' up from the table, man. I don't want you to fall on your face.

Will do, mi amigo. [ No, seriously, he's going to try it at some point. ] Come on, man. You know me better than that. It ain't even possible for me to fall on my face. I've got the reflexes of a cat.

Yeah, sure. If the cat was a tripod. C'mon dude. You know you're pretty inept.

You know, Dean, it ain't right to lay your insecurities on others.

Sure. Whatever you say.

[Don't be a dick, Ash.]

Hey, uh...

[Private]

You been able to hack into the gods database yet?

[He figures if he has they might be able to figure out if Sam and Cas were still active out there somewhere.]

Edited 2013-09-26 17:08 (UTC)

Sorry, man. From the look of it, they've got some sort of godly voo-doo put on the network. I've got some skills, but don't be fooled. They're not godly skills. Hell, these guys have a tighter hold on things than heaven ever did. The angels might wanna take a few pointers if they don't wanna get spied on.

Worth a shot. Guess we'll have to find their edge on the front lines instead of in cyber space.

Sam and Cas are gone. They have been for a while. I was just wondering if you had the ability to track 'em down.

Sorry to hear that, man. Look, I'll keep working on it for future reference, but I'm not making any promises. They've got the network under lock and key.

At least they can do somethin' right.

They're serious about their technology, man. You know, I got my computer awhile back? Yeah. Can't connect to anything but Pong.

Guess they already knew not to mess with the MIT drop out.

[He's kidding, but it doesn't have the power it usually would. He's upset, there's no doubt about that. He's tired, concerned that Cas and Sam are somewhere out there in the line of fire. It's enough to make him crazy.]

Kicked out for fighting, man. Get it right.

[ Sorry Dean, were you having issues? You ought to take a leaf from Ash's book. Ash never has issues. ]

I never got to ask about that. Why were you fighting? Couldn't have been a challenge. That place is full of squints.

[SORRY. He's just not as well adjusted, ok.]

[ Wow excuse him while he raises his eyebrow. You and your MIT stereotypes, Dean. ]

I look like the normal MIT student to you?

No, I told you what you looked like. A Lynyrd Skynyrd groupie.

[ there's probably a reason that jo's out and not at the bar, but I'm too lazy to figure it out. ]

Morning sleeping beauty.

[ No one wants to be around Ash, that's why she's not at the bar. Ash seems pleased to see her, though, grinning and throwing his arms out. ]

Jo! Joe Don Baker! This your work? [ Pointing to the rainbow mullet. ]

[ oh well, she'll be back soon enough.

and then she's all grins. ]

You like? Dean's handiwork's on your face, but the hair's all me.

[ She'd better be. Ash can't take care of himself. We all know it. ]

Yeah, I'm thinking I kind of dig it. Draws attention to the natural beauty of the mullet.

Oh yeah, because that mullet is definitely natural.

Hey. If you're gonna hate, take it to a barber who cares. [ He gives the mullet a little toss for good measure. ]

I was your barber, smartass.

Oh. Damn. Guess I'm gonna have to find a barber who cares.

About that mullet? Good luck.

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