003 ☠ [Video]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

[How was it possible for someone to be so out of touch with the world around him and yet. still somehow survive in it? Well, whatever the reason, here he was, the elusive Jake English in the flesh (and remarkably less tanned than normal.)

The young former adventurer was in a rather cheeky mood. Having taken the comments passed down to him from some of his closest friends, Jake decided that if he had been hiding away in his house for as long they all thought, then he came to the conclusion people wouldn't recognize him. Well, this just blossomed and bloomed inside his mind, giving him the very idea he was trying out at present.

Minus his glasses and donning a very snooty smirk, Jake was ambling around the city. His hair, for today, had been swept the other way (though its strands must have had memories, as parts sprung up and back in place here and there.) Jake was convinced his disguise was flawless! His socks were rolled down instead of up and his t-shirt inside out so no one could see the skull!

He was as mysterious as El Zorro! As Bruce Wayne even! He was--

The Emerald Pimpernel~!

[Jake called out dramatically as he flung his coat over a shoulder, letting a splash of green on the inner lining flare out. Obviously he looked way cooler in his own mind than he did for real... Especially seeing as he was without his glasses, which in turn caused him to stumble and bump around... Perfect way to lose any cool points he though he was gaining.]

Oh drat wait! I've done this all tits backwards! I should be wearing my mask, or...Egad I can't remember if this is the look of my alter ego or my crime busting renegade self?...

Comments

[Filtered Audio]

[key_illusion]

[Wow, Jake, you look.....really stupid. ??? doesn't exactly hear the full title at first either-- "Emerald Serenade" would be the autocorrect, but that's a Heartless. He has to go backwards on the video to catch it again. Pimpernel doesn't even sound like a real word.

Maybe he shouldn't even reply because the kid acts like he's been blinded. Okay, just this once he'll use audio.]

Why.............? [Yup, that's all he has to say.]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

[See, this, this right here is why he really should have just stayed indoors forever.]

Hm? I beg your pardon, did you ask something?

[Trying his hardest to pull a pose that he wouldn't normally pull. If it worked for Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, why couldn't it work for him?]

[key_illusion]

You look ridiculous. What are you doing?

[This is a horrible first impression, but he's also surprised by how many weird people people he's talked to lately.]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

Ah gosh, this is rather embarrassing now...

[Jake simply rubbed the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. Everyone seemed to be commenting on how silly he looked.]

I was actually trying out a new alter ego and whatnot. Like a kind of caped crusader only... Minus the cape and well the crusading too I guess...

[key_illusion]

Alter ego? Why? [One of those things ??? doesn't know much about.]

You might want to get completely different clothes then.

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

Yeah, now you point it out, I am a little obvious huh?

[Wow, how embarrassing.]

Any suggestions? Help a brother out and whatnot?

[key_illusion]

[Avoiding his question, huh? Whatever. You're not his brother, Jake.]

Get a new Tshirt. One you don't have to turn inside out. I don't know, just go for something different.

[Why is he giving clothes advice? He barely has more than two outfits.]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

[Not to be rude of course, Jake was just easily distracted by his thoughts. sounds like someone has issues~ ]

That's some spot on advice there, I'll keep that in mind next time I try this kind of malarkey!

[Someone really needs to, Jake would look better in anything other than what he dresses himself in most of the time anyways.]

[key_illusion]

[So many issues, you don't even know.]

...I suggest you don't.

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

... Its really that bad, huh?

[He's trying not to, but he's feeling beyond disheartened now.]

[key_illusion]

Yeah, it kind of is. You never said why you're doing it either.

[Sorry, Jake, but it's the truth.]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

Just between me and you... I was trying to avoid being myself, at least for a little while at least.

[As is that.]

[key_illusion]

Ah...I get that. [Even if ??? has no true 'self' yet. He's upgraded from ghost/program to being an individual, but he hasn't quite pegged his identity.]

What happened?

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

To put it blunt, I made a right royal arse of myself and a bloody pigs ear of a mess when it came to my closets pals.

[And here Jake is feeling self pity when you must have it way worse.]

[key_illusion]

[It's okay, ??? doesn't like sharing his issues. Nor does he want any sort of pity.]

Why don't you try to apologize to your friends? [EASIER SAID THAN DONE, HYPOCRITE.]

[barfbreath_turdsmirk]

Ah well see, its kind of been left for too long now, if you catch my drift?

[Nope? well need not worry, Jake is great at explaining things ¬_¬ ]

Has you derriere ever "burped" in public and the blighter was a trained navy seal? Silent as a Christmas night and more deadly than the wild goat-beasts of hell murder island? And you were about to own up to suck a ripsnorter of a fart until someone points out how disgusting it was?

[Oh God someone please shut him up.]

So when you finally get round to owning up, you have an abundance of shame and disgrace that you kind of just milly around the whole palava and people think you're a jerk?

[key_illusion]

...Do you know how to talk normally? [Because most of what he heard was blahblahblah I messed up and people think I'm a jerk.

But no, he was being nice so far. Don't go insulting him, ???.]

Anyways, maybe that means you shouldn't stop waiting around and avoiding the situation more because your friends still think you're a jerk. Or at least, maybe it's in your head that they think you're a jerk. The farting example isn't really a good one.

If they're still your friends, they'll be fine as long as you say you're sorry and try not to do it again. [At least that's what he has from Roxas' memories and somewhat from personal experiences.]