??? // text;; anonymous

[sneakyshoes]

Have a problem? Afraid no one can help you?
Need to keep your business a secret in a nosy world?
Open a private channel to this message and we'll see what we can do.
Don't worry: your secret is safe with us.
:)
xxxx

Comments

[text | anon]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

Least suspicious thing I've ever read in my life.

[It also sounds a lot like an offer a consulting criminal with a penchant for staying underground would make (and he is just the type to sign with a smile and a row of X's). But he'll play along until he's sure.]

[sneakyshoes]

We aim to please. :)

[and now private]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[So smarmy. It must be him.]

So you got impatient, or are you some kind of workaholic?

[sneakyshoes]

It's always helpful to have a base of contacts to rely on, regardless of current contract.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

Good luck. Anyone who doesn't have the sense to be suspicious will be too stupid to use this for anything interesting.

Anon Text | Private

[samantha_grey]

[Well, this was new. Samantha yawned as she looked at the message and her eyebrow raised. Murders in town, and now someone offering services of discretion?

She tapped at her desk and glanced over her stock. Was this some new blowhard, or had someone been cutting into the black market in town without her paying attention? She'd backed off after the Silver Lotus hadn't taken off, and wisely so. That shit was trouble with a capital t.

Still, it wasn't as if there wasn't a big pool to swim in. However, she liked to know her fellow fish.]

Do I know you?

[sneakyshoes]

Certainly not. Should you?

[samantha_grey]

An interesting question. I'm wondering the same thing. Lots of fish in the sea, but most of the ones that offer to swim in the schools you're talking about disappeared months ago.

And you're not a native. The locals don't have these things.

[sneakyshoes]

All the better to start a new stream, then, don't you think?

anonymous text.

[redhourglass]

Does that line ever work?

[sneakyshoes]

You're here, aren't you?

[redhourglass]

( ooh. sassy. she might even like whoever this is. )

Inquiring minds, and all that.
Ever heard that you can only keep a secret between two people if one of them is dead?

[sneakyshoes]

It happens to be a motto of ours. ;)

It's also a fairly decent song lyric. Have you heard? We highly recommend it.

[Text | Private]

[comeonthensexy]

A particular kind of business, yes?

[sneakyshoes]

Generally speaking, yes.

Need any help?

[comeonthensexy]

Depends. More detail would help.

[sneakyshoes]

We tend to deal with problems most people need to disappear. People, debts, issues, what have you. There's not much we're not willing to do for the right price.

[Private Anonymous Text]

[canmakemore]

[Well her interest is piqued. What with her involvement with the Assassins, she feels she should probably investigate other would-be secretive organizations.]

And exactly what kind of help are you offering?

[sneakyshoes]

We deal mostly with problems no one else is willing to face or finish.

[canmakemore]

Such as?

[sneakyshoes]

People, debts, issues, etc. There's not much we're not willing to do for the right price.

Text

[notthedoctor]

If I don't know who you are, how do I know you'll keep anything secret instead of blackmailing?

[sneakyshoes]

A good question, and worth asking. Unfortunately, you must take us at our word. It would not do to offer our services and immediately hurt our clients. We take our business quite seriously and depend upon word of mouth to survive.

We can only promise that your business is more important to us than your suffering. That is simply all we can say.

[notthedoctor]

If I don't know who you are, I find it hard to take you at your word.

Are you a psychologist? What sort of service is it besides someone to tell secrets to?

[sneakyshoes]

We deal with problems others would prefer disappeared, whatever these problems may be. People, issues, debts, what have you.