karkat ♋ vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cancerousgeneticist) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
asgardeventide2013-05-05 09:34 pm
cancerousgeneticist) wrote in asgardeventide2013-05-05 09:34 pm
002 [Action&text]
[Karkat had become a hermit. A real life, for all intents and purposes, hermit.
He had been in Asgard for about a month, now, and only used his bracelet maybe twice. Mostly because all his friends are assholes. But also because he was afraid to.
is this what depression feels like?
maybe it was because of the nightmares he experienced his first night he entered the city, or maybe it was because the one person he actually wanted to talk to was ignoring him. Either way he hadn't left his room much since Nepeta set his nose a few weeks ago.
He lay on the floor of his block, surrounded by disarray; there was junk everywhere, from food items he had scrounged from mid-night scurries through the empty city. He didn't want to be seen in the dining hall, so he never went, opting to find food off trees or other, probably-not-safety-board-regulated sources. He had taken the sheets off his bed and had made a little nest in the center of the room, wrapping the blankets around him so only his ocular globes poked out from behind the fabric. Underneath, he wore nothing but his boxers, because it was hot under all the blankets, but he didn't want to sacrifice the safety of his little cocoon. Other things; papers, garbage, a random hairbrush, and some movies he had 'borrowed', were strewn around as well. Not that he had a TV to watch the movies, but he liked to read the backs of them and imagine if they were shit or not. They were probably all shit, he decided, but he still hoped 'Human Landon Carter' and 'Human Jaime Sullivan' end up together after all that community service. He also wondered what community service was.
is this what depression feels like?
He was actually getting pretty skinny. He could feel his breathing sack protectors through his skin, and he could imagine the bags under his eyes were worse than ever.
He stared at his bracelet. Though he hadn't contacted anyone in a long time he was still watching. He missed his idiot bestfriends. And his idiot ex-girlfriend-matesprit-person-thing. Terezi. But he was also scared to talk to them. He had looked like such an idiot before, with plans of escape. Of course they couldn't escape. As if he would have been a good enough leader to accomplish the task, anyways.
is this what depression feels like?
Half of him wanted to talk to them. Most of him wanted to say something. But all of him was saying he couldn't possibly.
He really needed a friend, right now.
Rolling onto his stomach, he poked a hand out and grabbed the infernal device of his loathing. It was always within arms reach but always so far away.
Fumbling with hands that shook and bony fingers he typed into the interface,typing a single word and hitting enter before throwing the terrible thing across the block once again.]
HELP.
this is what depression feels like.
He had been in Asgard for about a month, now, and only used his bracelet maybe twice. Mostly because all his friends are assholes. But also because he was afraid to.
is this what depression feels like?
maybe it was because of the nightmares he experienced his first night he entered the city, or maybe it was because the one person he actually wanted to talk to was ignoring him. Either way he hadn't left his room much since Nepeta set his nose a few weeks ago.
He lay on the floor of his block, surrounded by disarray; there was junk everywhere, from food items he had scrounged from mid-night scurries through the empty city. He didn't want to be seen in the dining hall, so he never went, opting to find food off trees or other, probably-not-safety-board-regulated sources. He had taken the sheets off his bed and had made a little nest in the center of the room, wrapping the blankets around him so only his ocular globes poked out from behind the fabric. Underneath, he wore nothing but his boxers, because it was hot under all the blankets, but he didn't want to sacrifice the safety of his little cocoon. Other things; papers, garbage, a random hairbrush, and some movies he had 'borrowed', were strewn around as well. Not that he had a TV to watch the movies, but he liked to read the backs of them and imagine if they were shit or not. They were probably all shit, he decided, but he still hoped 'Human Landon Carter' and 'Human Jaime Sullivan' end up together after all that community service. He also wondered what community service was.
is this what depression feels like?
He was actually getting pretty skinny. He could feel his breathing sack protectors through his skin, and he could imagine the bags under his eyes were worse than ever.
He stared at his bracelet. Though he hadn't contacted anyone in a long time he was still watching. He missed his idiot bestfriends. And his idiot ex-girlfriend-matesprit-person-thing. Terezi. But he was also scared to talk to them. He had looked like such an idiot before, with plans of escape. Of course they couldn't escape. As if he would have been a good enough leader to accomplish the task, anyways.
is this what depression feels like?
Half of him wanted to talk to them. Most of him wanted to say something. But all of him was saying he couldn't possibly.
He really needed a friend, right now.
Rolling onto his stomach, he poked a hand out and grabbed the infernal device of his loathing. It was always within arms reach but always so far away.
Fumbling with hands that shook and bony fingers he typed into the interface,typing a single word and hitting enter before throwing the terrible thing across the block once again.]
HELP.
this is what depression feels like.
no subject
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M AFRAID OF. I GUESS MYSELF. I'M AFRAID OF SCREWING UP AGAIN.
WHICH IS STUPID, SINCE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SCREWING UP.
no subject
I think screwing up is unavoidable at times and everyone does it. You just have to keep going.
no subject
THANKS, I THINK I NEEDED THAT.
...
WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAYS?
no subject
[He really< doesn't. ??? has far too many identity issues.]
You can call me Access, if you want. Or whatever else you want.
no subject
OH. OKAY, I GUESS. MY NAME'S KARKAT. YOU CAN CALL ME KARKAT. OR 'GLORIOUS LEADER', IF YOU FEEL SO INCLINED.
no subject
I'll stick with Karkat. [Not that he didn't know it because of the user label.]