asgardeventide | first chapter: [video]

[ The video feed turns on to a rather nervous-looking girl in her late teens, though that nervousness is momentarily replaced by a grin. After all, she finally figured out how to work this thing properly. Figuring something out is always something worth celebrating, at least for Twilight Sparkle.

Still, her somber expression returns. ] I wanted to thank everypony who helped me out when we all first arrived. I've gotten much better at walking since then! Really. [ Because obviously they won't believe her unless she adds in that "really." ]

But... [ And this is really where she looks worried again... ] has anypony been outside today? There's clouds out there, and I am one-hundred percent certain nopony put them there. They're even moving all on their own...!

But nopony else has even mentioned it! Don't you all find this strange?!

[ Twilight bites her bottom lip for a moment, but presses on. ] It's strange enough that the sun and moon can rise without Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, but... do you suppose the patron gods are doing all of it? Raising the sun, and the moon, and moving the clouds... creating the weather...?

[ And finally, a large sigh. ] Really, this is such a strange place.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...He's just going to look at Sam the same way you'd look at one of those people who insists that the moon landing was faked by lizard people in order to create the new world order.

Deadpan.]

And I was a shark. With lasers and shit.

[Okay, now back to being an asshole.]

I'm not gonna humor some girl's fantasies because she wants to pretend she was a pony. She's not a damn pony. She can be into whatever she wants but I'm not gonna call her that shit.

Then don't call her a pony, but don't be an asshole to her just because you feel like proving something to a teenager, jackass.

[Flatly.]

Or what? You gonna call the cops on me?

I make the cops look like a joke.

Is that supposed to be impressive?

[Sam shrugs.]

Stop pushing around a girl and you won't have to find out.

We got a real badass here. I'm really scared. Someone tougher than the cops.

[He doesn't sound very impressed.]

[He's not going to bother justifying himself to an asshole.]

Just leave the kid alone.

It's not that hard.

first chapter: [video]

video; the last time the boss met a pony it was an autotuned pimp

video; well this pony was naked and needed assistance okay sam knows his shit

video; yeah zimos just had a ball gag and... okay let's not talk about that

video; oh my god that sounds like an awkward time

video; i could include a link, this is not the most ridiculous thing in this canon

video; DO IT

video; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usT-zMPoyxs&t=0m54s

video o m f g