001 - video

[dumbguy]

[On your bracelet appears a young man, in a shirt that arouses the disturbing image of a poor old man who finally gathered the funds to retire somewhere warm walking around shirtless searching for it.]

You know, I'm not loving your timing, Gods, with all due respect and everything – don't smite me! -- [he ducks for cover giving you far too close a shot of his cheek for a few seconds, and when nothing happens straightens back up again, clears his throat and continues] couldn't you have taken me for this grand destiny or whatever before I graduated? Where were you during finals, huh? I mean come on – this is my summer vacation that never ends! And I had plans for it – not that seeing an alternate dimension in shades of grey isn't a swell way to celebrate my freedom but –

[He pauses, unsure of where he's even going with this anymore]

No, you know what? It really isn't.

And another thing - what's your exchange policy on these powers? Coz I already got charm I'd like something more useful for my effort like you know - super strength or flight or invisibility or...x ray vision. Do I at least get to keep it when I go home? And this bracelet thing too -- it's very sci-fi. [He turns it over, and you get a nice view of the sky for a moment before he turns it back] I could make a fortune with these -

I digress - if you're looking for the chosen one then sorry - close, but no cigar. So how's about you take me home and we all pretend this never happened?

Comments

video.

[stakes]

[ So. Buffy has been staring at her bracelet for several minutes, trying to figure out how to respond, because Xander just made some reference to graduating. And it sounds like he's talking about it as if it's happened recently. Which means there's something messed up in the time frame of things, which is normal around here, but she's still not happy about it. Especially after the dizzying amount of unconsciousness she's just experienced. Going gray sucks. ]

... Xander, graduation was like... Two years ago.

video.

[dumbguy]

Buffy! Cue relief! Guess they got their cigar after all -- but they'll find out all about those being bad for you soon enough, right? Should we be...killing anything?

[Oh wait, pause on the babbling and insert confused expression]

-- Buffster. Stay with me. Graduation was last week.

video.

[stakes]

[ Oh, well, good. These shenanigans are about to get even more shenanigan...y. She heaves a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose. ]

Xander, look at me. Do I look all fresh-outta-high-school-mayor-blow-uppy? It's all wig with the time here. You're younger than me. A lot.

video;

[helps]

[ oh it's... buffy's goofy friend. great. well, in truth, angel's never really minded xander that much, but he knows the reverse isn't true. not that angel can entirely blame him, but he still probably spends a healthy amount of time brooding alone in his room before finally deciding to respond to this. ]

Xander. [ insert somewhat awkward silence here as he searches for something else to say. ] Nice shirt.

video; THREADJACK because justice.

[stakes]

[ Well, two whammys in one day. She can handle this. Right? ]

Angel?!

video; justice is a good reason

[helps]

[ okay, angel had envisioned a lot of ways that responding to xander could play out.

this was not one of them. ]

...Buffy? What are you... how?

video;

[dumbguy]

[No, the reverse definitely isn't true. He minds Angel quite a bit, actually.]

...Angel? You know, leaving someone usually involves going somewhere that isn't where that person is.

[Someone's bitter much at seeing one of his best friends miserable.]

video;

[bestestfurrend]

Charm can be fun though! ...I think! I haven't used it a lot yet. [She giggles.] I like to think I'm purretty charming already too.

Although flying would be fun! I'd like that.

video;

[dumbguy]

[Excuse the staring but it's just uh. You have horns. Things with horns usually try to kill him.]

Yeah I uh - bet you're a real heartbreaker.

[Please don't break his heart in the literal sense!]

[voice]

[nukeoleptic]

I'm really sorry, for what it's worth! I know this place kind of sucks at first.

[voice]

[dumbguy]

Well, at least you're honest.

video;

[integrous]

Man, that sounds like the worst timing to get kidnapped! Talking about rubbing salt in the wound.

[ Asahi can understand not liking school a whole lot.. ]

The kidnapping deal in general is already horrible, but that's just the worst!

video;

[dumbguy]

Right? Kidnapping's bad enough, but this? It's just downright evil.

video;

[mccallmemaybe]

[ You, sir, remind Scott of an older Stiles. ] You got charm too, huh? I wish we could trade it for something cooler.

video;

[dumbguy]

We should petition for an exchange policy.

video;

[watchher]

Xander? [ Here's a familiar face Giles hadn't expected to find. ]

I, ah-- welcome to Asgard. Has the situation been explained to you? [ Did someone beat him to the exposition? ]

video;

[dumbguy]

Giles! Buffy told me you're here. Did they cut down on your brainiac superpowers too?

[But no, he's seriously relieved to see the older man and it shows. He shakes his head]

I got 'we're screwed'.

video;

[victoryindeath]

[Somebody sure thinks he's funny.]

Are you really gonna demand an exchange policy with nothing to offer in exchange? Besides a shitty attempt at humor.

video;

[dumbguy]

[Funny, and adorable. What is up with the horned population around here? What are these Gods playing at?]

Guess they don't have retail in hell, huh? You exchange what you got.

[ video ]

[pratentious]

[ . . . wow. ]

That's quite the inspired speech. Though it's most like to fall on deaf ears, so you needn't worry of any ... smiting.

[ video ]

[dumbguy]

Figures -- these Gods really need to work on their hospitality. Abduct and ignore? Not the way to get returning customers.

video;

[brokennotmad]

Chosen one? [Annie looks a little confused.] There's a chosen one?

video;

[dumbguy]

Well if you take their word for it we're all kinda chosen ones here.

[Right. Slayer secrecy and all of that. Does it even matter here? Well better safe than sorry.]

[video]

[daddyissues]

[Connor looks very amused when his image appears. The gods might not be listening, but he thinks the new guy is pretty funny.]

Has asking nicely ever worked for you? I don't have much luck with it.

[video]

[dumbguy]

[Yes good, appreciate his humor!]

Maybe it would've worked better if I did it as a prayer...